How To Get CANCER?
So much awareness & research have been conducted on cancer with countless of preventions and treatments. Yet, how many did survive? Please count the number of people you knew who died of this deadly cancer.
I have lost count myself on my good kawans, relatives, associates and the many patients I fetched to the hospitals for treatment..... all mampus of very painful cancer. Sob! Sob! I was assigned for a few years to fetch Hospice patients from the whole Jalan Klang Lama and Puchong! All of them have bade farewell to me, making my heart like a piece of stone today. No more tears, no more fears. They taught me valuable lessons that lasts a lifetime. Terima kasih to them all who are now resting in heavens.
Hello? Most humans today are damn fucking Sor-haaiiii especially those who still smoke heavily right now. My colleagues & friends complained about the rising cigarette prices, killing their pockets but they planned to cut down on food instead. Aiyo, this is called Orang Pandai or Sor-haaiii? Niaamah leh.
Ahem!... Once upon a time, I used to appear on TV and many Video clips as kalefe but the most remarkable one was the "NO SMOKING" ad by Kementerian Kesihatan. I was the very underaged virgin doctor inside showing X-ray films to a patient on his positive results. The TV ad ran every night for 3 years on TV2 and everyone laughed at me. Why hor?????????? I was smoking and drinking in public! See, I was so famous bloody fool.
I admit I was also a damn Sor-Haaaiii lah. Now that is history okei?
Since no amount of warnings could help you to quit smoking, I will assist you to achieve your ultimate GOAL. I made my own scientific research and I jamin there are 5 WAYS TO GET CANCER real fast.
Do you know this very famous hunky friend? He would kill me if he sees me using his photo....sorry lah brother. Hello kawan?? Just increase your 2 sticks to 2 packets per day and you are on your way there lah! To where? To hell lah! Ha ha..
SODIUM NITRATE! Yeah!!! Get 1 kilo of this powder and sprinkle onto all your food. This cancer-agent is already made available in almost all the junk food we eat today. It is very deadly and we would be 1 step closer to meet our ancestors.
Hello Ah Kong! Heloo Ah Phor! Wah lai liao!
IKAN BAKAR! Yeah! Eats lots of burnt Ikan Bakar daily or go lay under the sun like an Ikan Bakar just like my bodoh friend here. Gary who complains that he looks like Pak Cham Kai often baked himself under hot blazing sun for days. I think this Sor-Haaiii is so moron lah. He wanna look tanned & sexy with outer lining of cancer. This is Siau Lang.
DELICIOUS KAJANG SATAY! Yeah!! We all love them with peanut sauce! No way I can stop eating this charcoal meat!! I read reports that 1 stick of satay is equivalent to 4 sticks of cigarettes!
Eat it! Eat it! Or just Beat it! Beat it!
Move to a new place. Live under FAT high tension wires to radiate your cells! They are the BEST super fast and GUARANTEED method to give you multiple cancers ranging from Skin Cancer, Brain Tumours, Tek-Tek and even Chibai cancer. A patient who lost his wife to cancer pointed out to the high tension wires along his house off Jalan Gasing. He added that nearly every house on his street had cancer, yet they had no alternative choices to relocate! Now that was the most BODOH & Tadak OTAK for saying - No Choice! Surely you have the choice! I would pack up my barangs and live with all the happy monyets in Zoo Negara! They would welcome me like sworn brothers!
I think I have said enough unless you have more ideas to contribute. Before departing, maybe it's best to select our own container to lie ourselves. I have made it easy with the useful contacts of the 4 most popular undertakers in Klang Valley. They might give me komisyen for every call made. So hurry, call them today!
NILAI MEMORIAL PARK SDN. BHD - TEL: 03 76603322
NV MULTI CORP GROUP (NIRVANA) TEL: 03 79818899
EIGHT ELEVEN FUNERAL SERVICES - 03 77830666
FAIRY PARK SDN. BHD. - TEL: 03 33439871
It is never too late to turn over a new leaf. Let's not be selfish and think of our loved ones if we are gone too soon. It is so easy to live and eat healthily. Prayers and clearing our bad karma also helps to keep sickness away. Have a Good Day!