Thursday, November 20, 2008

URGH! Your Smelly Ketiak! Cis!

Have you smelled your own armpits today? Good smell or not?? If not don't come near me coz I sure pengsan anywhere. I have a terrible allergy & phobia when my condo's foreign workers sweated & my hyper sensitive d0g-nose could smell their body's puking B.O. from 1 kilometer away. Sometimes they were in the same elevator and I would dash out on the next floor like a lightning! You know what? The bad odor contains bacteria hence the pungent smell.

I was rather amused that it was written in the Buddhist sutra books that those with heavy past life's karma will have awful smelling body B.O. I guess it excretes via the hairy ketiak! Yiakss!
Anyway, it could be treated by minor surgery to rid the armpit's skunks. Sometimes the deodorant won't help and again, it might cause cancer to the lymph.


I had come across some hometown friends who get horny and turn on like a sex siren when they smell their partner's foul smell armpits. The more puking is the better! 2 thumbs up plus 2 legs up. They just love the smell and would lick it. URGH!..... I am typing this and my poor stomach is turning as well anti clockwise!

The Sutra added that those with merits would be born with nice smelling body & personality as well! No wonder I realised the some Mat Sallehs who shared same bathrooms in US with me, had a unique and dettol-like body smell. I used to ask Michael which brand's cologne spray he used and he snapped back that he could ill afford to buy one as a student! Oops! It was natural!


Later I understood how smell could turn fellas ON or OFF like a tap! I laughed when Silencer-the-medical-student blogged about the nice smell of the doctor he so admired. Well, it made sense.

Our office's cleaning lady had the worst sweat glands on this planet which gave me terrible head migraines each time she finished vacuuming my room! To me, she was like a human-skunk that could talk Hokkien! Now 13 years later, she no longer smells like shit and I don't run away from her like seeing a skunk anymore. I guess her frequent visits to temples and prayers must have cleansed both her armpits and karma. I swear that I am not kidding okay. Nobody likes busuk smell lah, bad Feng Shui when they raised their armpits to flash. All my good chances to win Magnum 4-D would be gone too!


Next problem is guys with wet-wet palms. When they shook my hands, my eye-balls would roll up and Hail Mary! Why is your hand so wet aarrr? Just finished pee and didn't wipe, izzit? I would quickly rub my right hand behind my pants. Again, the sutra also stated that bad karma gives you wet palms. Normally advertising agencies dare not hire designers with sweaty palms as they would wet all the artwork pieces! Only dry hands need to apply.

Doctor bloggers, can their hands be treated by surgery? I doubt it can be done.

Unless you slit their palms to drain out the sweat and water! Hey, I am not laughing or being cruel but I am a just honestly a blunt Twilight alien from the Mars who speak fearless dialects. I just wanna share that the sutra books mentioned, by clearing your karma would also clear all this sweat palms and foul armpits! Don't believe, just try it and tell me.


Lastly, the worst is those with sweat feet soles! Yeah, when they walked around barefooted and you can see their wet footprints all over the carpet and floor! Yiaks! One bloody moron friend of mine has all the above 3 problems and sadly, he has to wear my hotel-slippers when he enters my condo. When he drives the car, his steering wheel gets slippery and wet like gone for car-wash with windows opened!

I'm sorry to speak up so frankly but I won't reveal his name. He always leave comments here! How sweet of him!


18 comments:

  1. omg, i was laughing like mad reading this post... some ppl just hv bigger sweat glands... hence, they sweat all the time....

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  2. Ha ha ha ha ha! My dept laughed so much! Yr blog is crazy but true also.

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  3. LoL.... i don't think you will like Africa lor ... initially i could not take the B.O smell but after a while, already got used to it but still not like it....

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  4. what about bad breath lei?

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  5. they have their own problem and inconvenience with the bigger than normal sweat glands too.. so just don't discriminate them la, remember karma karma :p

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  6. kenny - Many people sweat a lot but didn't smell wor. I thought you looked like the singer I saw in Taipei. Is that you? Thanks for coming! More laughs on the way....

    anonymous - ha ha ha ha

    kenlin - Why Ghastly?

    TZ - It is okay so long as they don't smell. I love African food!

    fable frog - I thought bad breathe can be fixed easily. Drink apple cider to flush. Use colgate to brush and then flowers come out of your mouth! Just like shown on TV. Ribit!

    SK - Hey you made feel sooo bad whole day. i didn't discriminate lah, just too honest but I got offer solutions mah... Do you smell? Hmmmm.

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  7. I'm no doc but they do have surgery available to cure sweaty palms. My ex-colleague had hers done at Damansara Medical.

    Thanks, the egg tart in front of me doesnt look so tasty now!:P

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  8. errrrrr.... they smell :-p With your super sensitive nose... I think u were hardly could survive or you just immune to the smell .... hahaha :-p

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  9. i thot something was wrong with my computer or there was a dead rat until i arrived at yr blog. the smell came from yr ketiak post :)

    hahahahahhahhaha

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  10. i am happy that i dont have any that u mentioned, so i think it is ok for u to date me out for a dinner! ha ha ha...

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  11. i dun think smelly ketiak and wet palms have anything to do with karma :p

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  12. I'm totally agreed with you that smell can really turn someone ON and OFF. And I'm one of those. :) And it's really awful to read about the armpit thingy..

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  13. Anton - Great news! The next wet palm owner will be advised to head to Damansara Medical Ctre.

    TZ - I am immune to my own farts, so i believe you.

    Bengbeng - Gosh! My blog smell could reach Sibu?

    ET - You must be a very dry & fragrant guy. Otherwise that gal won't have locked inside the car for 5 hours with ya. Remember?

    LeuMas - I am not sure too but it was written in the sutra & I cannot read Chinese. Why don't you check it out since you're bilingual? :)

    K|E|E|N|Y|E|E So it turns you on or off? Erm, have fun in Ipoh okay.

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  14. U're just like me, tak boleh tahan B.O. sampai can get migrane.

    This is also one of the reasons why I dont' eat onions. Coz it's kinda like eating B.O. (smells like B.O., taste like B.O.)

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  15. I love people with good smell. And yeah..I'm back from Ipoh. Had great fun there, thanks.

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  16. I totally agree with you.. BO really turn me off. But sometimes as respect, i talk to the person by standing far a bit without the person realizing it.

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