Let's Go Funeral Shopping
I have hundreds of CDs containing many exotic and private photos in my collection. At first, I thought that they should be kept as P&C at all costs. Then I realised hor that when I die someday, my photo CDs will be cremated with me. What a fucking waste! So I better share good stuffs with everyone yeah.
Everyday I read gory news and so much deaths occurred lately! Landslides, gruesome murders, overturned bus accidents and suicides. Last month I got news that my ex-colleague died of kidney cancer in New York and she was just in her 30s. Then my parent's so-called god son died of colon cancer in Penang. He was a hottie bachelor cum lawyer in his 30s too. What a waste of good lives! My head was reeling nightly about all the unexpected deaths. I remember the old Chinese folks often quoted that many deaths would always happen randomly just before Chinese New Year. We never know when's the day we have to 'balik kampong' to China.
Have you ever thought of your own death? Are we ready for it or looking forward to it? We often regard Birth as a beautiful thing and so, Death should also be a beautiful thing, isn't it? One day, the Nirvana's boss (NV Multi Group) Dato' Kong Hon Kong cordially invited my Dato' buddy to tour his Nirvana's cemetery in Semenyih and also their 5-Star Nirvana's Funeral Parlour in Sungai Besi. I promptly followed the Dato's entourage and snapped so many forbidden photos! I have selected just a few which has interesting tales and gossips.
We were taken on tour at their Casket & Funeral Accessories boutique where you can pre-shop your own after-death exclusive Coffins and designer's Ready-to-Wear collections for all seasons pula.
These are all nice and luxury urns to store anyone's ashes after cremation. They come in great varieties including imported finest Marble stonewares with real 24K Gold trimmings. Nice pots, aren't they? If you wanna save, you can store your ashes in old Milo or Dumex milk tins as you wish lah.
They have widest range of coffins made from Oakwood, Rosewood & others, all specially air flown from Europe and USA. I pressed the cushion trimmings inside just for testing and they were so soft. Haiyah! I am not looking forward to lie inside so soon. Since I wanna cremate, I don't need so canggih and costly ones. Just recycle any IKEA's ply-wood should be regarded as fine imported wood too.
The Dato's PR guy Danny, proudly camwhored in front of this one. Aiyoh, I would be so pantang to pose like this idiot but he couldn't care less.
The clothes for deceased. The silky fine stitched black jacket look like fresh from Gianfranco Ferre's Fall/Winter collections. The cream long dress beside looked like a copycat from Dior's. They must be having a big sale as the prices are no where near the Parisian Haute Couture price tags! Ha ha ha!
Now these Chinese ancient costumes were worn by the old Emperors and Empresses of China. They are much more expensive than the Western clothes. Take your pick now!
This real Jade suit was imported from Myanmar and it costs a 6 figure sum! It is cooling and Jade is supposed to have the frequencies energy that enhances & feeds the spirit. Inside the Beijing's Ming Tombs, the Royal ghosts were seen inhaling pieces of Jades too. Does it make sense to you?
Next, we adjourned to the various halls for the funeral wakes. They had lavishly big and comfortable sizes with various themes. This one has Leslie Cheong's photo, similarly designed for his funeral and another was Anita Mui's.
The chairs are so neatly lined with good lighting and freezing air-con ventilation! I always had goose bumps when I attended several funeral wakes there, so eerie lah!
We also toured their cemetery in Semenyih alongside the 2 Datos who were talking about costings and excellent Feng Shui stuffs. I was flirting with their marketing team who were brave toughies who feared no ghosts and never seen one. But they do believe that ghosts and souls exist of course! Don't you?
This is the long Dragon columbarium where premium urns containing deceased's ashes are stored. Those niches near to the Dragon's head pay very high ceiling fees like sitting on the aircraft's front Business Class! I liked the laser shows inside where they hold brief ceremonies before the urns are placed inside the niches. It was kinda hilarious to see the Amitabha & 2 Bodhisattva's statues emerged from below and the laser light from the Buddha's head would beam red laser light straight onto the urn with soothing prayers recited. Then a laser dragon's image would fly around the urn before evaporating into thin air. So high & advanced technology, I pondered lah. Anyone seen this laser show?
I always save the best for the lasts. I am sure many have heard that this grave belongs to the famous Chinese pop diva, the late Bai Guang who was a hot favourite singer during the 50s. When she died, her boyfriend made her this world's famous grave that has a real playing piano. He often sits and think of her at the table & chairs equipped with umbrella behind. How sweet of him!
This is the piano built beside the late Bai Guang's grave. Just step in front on the grey stone and a loud screeching piano music would play & accompanied by her real pitching voice singing very loudly! Instantly, my own head hair, body hair and inside's pubic hair all stood up straight in frightful horror! My own face turned pale powder white & shook like a dead corpse. Bbrrrrr! Brrrr!
This grave belonged to a terminally ill grandma whose days were numbered. Her children consulted an expert Sifu who calculated & advised them to build this elaborate grave for her complete with a tortoise shelled back above the coffin's area. They had to bury flocks of her hair, finger nails and shreds of her clothings inside. This old grandma survived until this day, enjoying Bah Kut Teh for breakfasts daily! Who says fate cannot be changed?
Our Life May Be Uncertain But Our Death Is Certain!