Friday, January 9, 2009

Colon Cleansing

I used to fetch Hospice patients to daycare or hospitals for various cancer related treatment. Some suffered from colon cancer and I was kinda takut after observing the intense pain they had to endure. Sometimes they rolled in back backseat from pain and it was sad! Thank god, all of them are in heavens now, free from pain. 

Once I blogged about landing into SJMC after my intestine ruptured from a simple appendicitis problem which I made a mistake by taking it lightly. My boss asked me to gulp down pain killers thinking that it was mere tummy discomfort till my appendix swelled to 5 inches long with fat juicy toxic 'nanah' inside. It finally burst out like angry Volcano and I collapsed on the office's meeting room floor. I rolled like a rolling pin on the floor screaming in pain. When I opened my eyes hours later, I was shocked to wake up in the unfamiliar operating theatre to see masked green Aliens around with UFO lights hovering above my head. The kind Alien surgeon removed his mask & smiled to say I was safely operated. I dunno what he operated, so I checked my dick first. Still there wor! Hee hee!

Since then, I paid attention to the whole colon community beneath my belly. I could not afford to go for frequent colon cleansing which run up to 4 figure sums to get hosed up inside my asshole. I can imagine getting sodomized by a female nurse using a hose and then pay her thousands of ringgit instead. Makes no sense to me kan!??! @#$%&!!!

After reading Perky's Body Detox blog posting, I thought of sharing my own DIY colon cleansing cum detox method. I found this Bio Green stuff from a MLM called K-Link. Hey, if you think someone is paying me again to blog their stuff, go to hell okei. Now this fine powder stuff contains almost 70 organic ingredients which include all sorts of wheat, rice, oats, vegies, grains, fruits and kacang putehs mixed together!

When my angin is betul, I will drink them by scooping 2 spoons and bancuh into plain water. Stir! Stir! Stir!.... It will form up into thick gel paste if you don't drink it after 5 minutes I guess! Once I made a glass and then yakked on the stupid phone for half hour. I was shocked to witness a Fat Green Worm formed inside my glass like a Chinese New Year Nin-Gou! Ha ha! The powder kena masuk angin and got naturally hardened lah.

So drink it fast lah and let this healthy muddy drink flow inside and fill up your whole colon community inside your belly. All the toxins, shit, sai, dirt and hantu must have clinged onto my colon walls after decades! This Bio Green powder will form the soft gel inside my colon and cling onto all the aliens along the walls. The above pix is how Twilight's asshole is assumed.

Many hours later, my colon will be full after eating like a greedy glutton babi. It is time to go berak and the best is to find a squat toilet so that can display your "Goods" coming out soon.

(My shit will come out in 1 long piece, unbroken! So shiok lah, no need wipe toilet paper coz your anus will be so clean too. I am not kidding about my asshole okei!)

Nah! My shit will come out like this in 1 single piece like a Salvador Dali's artwork which I saw in the New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art.

This is how Twilight does his internal overhaul routine and you can also slim down by drinking it as replacement meals. All this is my own theory and I am not paid by any Boss or Taugehs okei.


  1. Please put the warning sign bro.....oh no! I should be very careful when i read your blog now..another "shit" story:-)P.

    Yark! yark! yark!

    Time to mind!

    Have a nice day, bro.

  2. Oh my god so graphic ~ sigh i wanna detox too!

  3. OWH MY~

    luckily i dun hv photo sensitive epilepsy or i'll get instant seizures!!

    anyway, i think i should too take precautionary action to take care of my fabulous colon :)

  4. Eh...sounds GOOD wo. Can clean without being sodomized, and can slim down at the same time. Good suggestion!!

  5. Dude, you really do your spring cleaning eh!... last post cleaned ear... this post cleaned colon... next post clean ????... hehehe...

    It's true we need some cleaning ... these few days my ear were so itchy... maybe it's time to take for a cleaning ... :p

  6. I just take probiotics... never try before this kind of thing!

  7. Well, you could alwiz opt for a male nurse, and have him alternate btw using the hose and ........ :P


  8. oh that is something very interesting to cleanse the colon!! i had muesli every morning, which is full of fibre, and i have smooth toilet moments every morning soon after that.. hehe!!

  9. First the ear wax, now the shit! OMG!!! AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! So disgusting! Eeeeewwwwwwww.......

  10. dearest TZ, dont u have other topic to talk about in blog other than shit? its just the begining of 2009 and all u know is shit shit shit!! i dont want to get shit all the year in 2009 leh! hahahahahha

  11. y u put this things?
    im eating nw.............

  12. u r really on a series huh..first the ears and now this :)

    wonder what's next :)

  13. OMG! I just realised many of you never seen your own dumps or pretended that yours is colourful and fragrant. I am just being realistic. Then I received orders to get them the Bio Green Powder too!

  14. Daniel Ng - I think I don't need a warning sign. My reputation will give them a permanent caution to expect any paranormal from a Twilight. Next time everyone would naturally eat before blogging.

    Fable Frog - Yeah you licked and ate so much insects and cums. So better detox lah.

    LeuMas - You mean your dump is fragrant and handsome like you?? LOL

    Altantuya - Better take care of colon. It can emit bad breathe too like one colleague of mine who speaks shit out.

    KEENYEE - You don't need to slim lah, so thin like pencil. But good to do cleansing...

    TZ - I never planned what to blog, the shit came just randomly. Who don't shit everyday? We have bunch of hypocrites and sissy who behave like they don't make dumps.

    William - I am sure the probiotics work slightly different. Anyway let me know if Probiotics can work better. I would love to try.

    Anton - They don't engage male nurse coz mostly are females who go for colon cleansing. The females bodily organs often need more attention esp mothers. Would you opt to be a male nurse? LOL

    SK - Muesli is good and helps constipation plus supply nutritional values. It does not wipe out the toxin clogged in between the colon walls.

    Calvin - What is so horrible? Hey common, we all make dumps okay. Some play with them and some smoke or read or even eat while shitting. Sorry if I am so disgusting.

    E.T. - So you better stop shitting too so that 2009 will be a better year. LOL

    TOM - Sorry I ruined your appetite!

    Bengbeng - I am still thinking of other excretes from our body.

  15. This one sounds pretty simple, just drink the stuff, no asshole probing. I'll probably go thru the detox program after CNY. No point of cleaning my colon now & eating like a babi few weeks later. lol!

  16. the pain from appenditicis is unbearable!!! i just did my appendectomy last month! i thought i am dying LOL

    your shit looks nice leh LOL

  17. Wah ,,, I think I need to try it out :D

  18. i do my deposit every mmorning without fail. do i still need detox ? theese days need to pay for depositing....

    its all in the food we eat . not as healty like those days anymore. fast food too much = fast in sickness & faster time frame before the bell ringsss... ;)

  19. shit that is gross! haha

    I believe that feng shui is really cool. altho i don't believe in the superstition...


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