Monday, March 9, 2015

An Eulogy

In Memory Of My Dearest Mother


My dearest mother has breathed her last at dawn on Monday. 
She has finally been called to the land of eternity, 
away from the sufferings of our human realms. 




It has been four months since she returned home to rest after getting discharged from Sime Darby Medical Centre (SDMC). We have been nursing and caring for her with the best available care with the special home visit & check-ups by the nurses and doctors of Hospice, which gave her much hope that she could recover someday. My mother was not aware that she had lung cancer which collapsed one side of her lung. I am thankful to the heavens for blessing her with no pain until the end.






I am always very proud of my mother for her kindness and intelligence. She was enrolled into the prestigious Chulalongkorn University at the mere age of 15 which was a rare honour as she passed all the entrance exams. She met my father in Penang while pursuing her studies in LCCI and they had a whirlwind romance with many happy memories. They finally married 11 years later when my grandfather had to give in after his stern objections that she was going to marry a poorer man. Both my parents had a good married life and they never quarreled even once! I know it is unbelievable but true. They had faced many life's problems along the way and my mother had a quick temper but my dad has no temper. Yes, he has ZERO temper! How to fight with him when he has NO TEMPER?? 
I believe I inherited 50%+ of his calmness.
  

I clearly knew my mother's days were numbered as she faded gradually and braved myself to be mentally prepared. I often shared advice with my older siblings who were a bit afraid & paranoid to hear anything about death. My years helping the terminally ill patients at Hospice Care has greatly helped to toughen me about our journey of Life & Death which everyone has to face someday. My dear wifey is the toughest and supported me along to prepare ahead all the funeral preparations for months, days and hours before the reality set in. It has been written in Buddhism texts on the way and prayers to be conducted on one's demise which I had always remembered by hard.





My wife cleansed my mother, changed her clothes and applied serene make ups on her. She sat down calmly beside my mother and softly recited the whole thick sutra book of Di Zang Wang Boddhisatva to calm & guide my mother's emerging soul which would normally take 6 to 9 hours for the departed ones.



 

We had decided to give my mother a good and beautiful send off where the wake was held at the Nirvana Memorial Centre. It was a short notice sent out that the wake would be held for just 2 nights. I highly applaud and compliment the whole team of Managers and staff of the Nirvana Memorial Centre for providing their best professional service to assist the bereaved families with utmost respect to our loved ones who have passed on.






Their team put in great efforts to ensure that every meticulous details have been well taken care besides going all out to help us to invite Thai and Sri Lankan monks to conduct the final rites. It was very tough for us to seek the blessing & availability of these few monks in KL but the Nirvana team solved our worries! My late mother's wish was fulfilled eventually.






 Most of my generation of Thai relatives had flown in from Thailand to pay their last respects. They had very busy schedules of lifestyle and came for just a day trip. It really moved our hearts to tears to see their love and respect for my late mother. She has been a great aunt and often showered her love & concern for all of them. I was not wearing a coat above as my old father was alseep and shivering from the freezing air cond. I had to cover him with my jacket.





It is the funeral traditions of Thailand where all the Thai males have to wear suits and ladies in full black dress with make ups and jewelery to pay their respects and honour the departed. You will see this practice in Bangkok and other bigger cities.




Whatever we requested, the team at Nirvana would oblige wholeheartedly! We wanted to accord my mother the funeral rites of her native Thailand. Many unexpected friends showed up and that touched me a lot. All our close friends and relatives were well taken care of by their Nirvana's team of ushers, F&B servers and administration office, throughout the 3 days and 2 nights.




Their team really engaged Burmese florists to decorate the flowers in accordance with the Thai funerals. I could not ask for more and really could not thank them enough!!




I may be sad today but I am eternally grateful to my mother for giving me all her time and unconditional love. She has shown me the way to live this life in a meaningful way.






Yesterday was the 7th day of my mother's departure. My good friends flew to Taipei with my mother's particulars to attend this huge praying and deliverance ceremony at the Sun Yat Sen Memorial, which was presided by The Living Buddha Lian-Sheng who conducted the deliverance and chantings with hundreds of monks and few thousand devotees from worldwide. They united together in prayers to deliver all the departed souls to the Western Paradise.


Rest In Peace Mother


......

58 comments:

  1. My Deepest Condolence to you and your family...

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  2. TM, I am so sorry for your loss. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Please take care.

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  3. My deepest condolences to you and your family. May healing takes place now in your family.

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  4. Condolences to you and family...

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  5. So sorry to hear this, may your mum rest in peace.....

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  6. I am sorry for your loss... my condolences to you and your family.

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  7. Condolences to you and your family, take care.

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  8. TM, sorry to hear about this and my deepest condolences to you and family.. You take care..

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  9. my heartiest condolences to my Anay and family.. your mum has got all the blessing she needs to lead an afterlife with only happiness and no sufferings.. and Anay too, has to lead a more meaningful life and love yourself even more!!

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    1. Thank you SK Thambee. Your mouth is always sweet like honey! I like!

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  10. My love and prayers are with you and the family after the loss of your beautiful mother. You and I both know that she is now in a MUCH better place. I do send you my love at this sad time in your life..

    Hugs and Prayers for ALL of the family and friends,
    Betsy

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    1. Thank you Betsy for your very kind words.

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  11. My condolences. A grand send off for a grand old lady.

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    1. Thank you William. I hope we gave her a good send off.

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  12. My deepest condolences. She is indeed free from the grips of mortal anguish. I do pray for God to take her soul into His arms and put her at ease with no karmic retributions. Hari Om Tat Sat.

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    1. Thank you Hdaran. Your kind words are so comforting indeed.

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  13. Anay TM, I can feel the love you and your wifey have in your hearts towards your mom.
    "I may be sad today but I am eternally grateful to my mother for giving me all her time and unconditional love. " make my eyes teary. May be because I am a mom or may be you make me think of my own mother. It is a very touching and meaningful post, Anay.

    You stay strong.

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    1. Reading this post reminding me to appreciate our loved ones more .

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    2. Thank you Yannie. Oh dear, sorry to make you sad and emo as well. Life is full of suffering and worries sometimes. I have been braving myself for this day since I was very young, knowing that my parents would leave us behind. My mother always spoke to me openly about Buddhism, Life & Death matters since I was a kid till I got married. She reminded us not to be too nice and pray or cry after she is gone but to say & carry out whatever we should while she was alive....

      You have brought up your kids very well as everyone could see that.

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  14. Our condolence to you and your family, Anay.

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    1. Your family have been blessed for your Mother have filial sons and daughter plus Daughter in-law to make her last days calm. Am glad her soul in in peace now.

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    2. Thank you Meow. I am sure all of you are good kids to your parents too. We only tried our best.

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  15. Yes, you have done the best... spending much quality time with your mom during the four months ... Like my mom, she also has lung cancer... and the doctor gave her three months when she was diagnosed at the terminal stage... we spent as much time as we could and making her happy and comfortable ... though she is not around anymore with us physically, her memories are always in my mind... and I am still missing her ...
    Life is like this.. so ..Be comforted at this time... TM...

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    1. Thank you Claire for your kind words. When I heard of your mum's illness and passing, I told myself to get prepared soon and do whatever I should before she passed away. I am glad I have no regrets after giving her the best comfort and assurance. I do miss my mother.

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  16. My deepest condolence to you and your family.

    You have done as much as you possibly can, I think. Your mom will be able to feel it.

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    1. Thank you RealGunners! All children would do the same for their parents.

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  17. My deepest condolence to you and your family.

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  18. My condolence to you and family..

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  19. My deepest condolence to you and your family.

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  20. So sorry to hear about your loss, Tan. I'm sure she's in a better place. Deepest Condolence to you.

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    1. Thank you Shirley. Oh yes she came back to tell me she went to a better place!

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  21. My sincere condolences to you and family. RIP to your mum and take care, TM.

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  22. My deepest condolences to you and your family*hugs*

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  23. Sorry to hear the loss of your mom. Our deepest condolences to you and family.

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  24. My deepest condolence may her soul RIP

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  25. I'm sorry to read this news, Twilight Man. If I may use a Japanese expression: ご冥福を祈ります。Gomeifuku wo inorimasu. "We pray for your happiness in the next world."

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  26. My deepest condolences to you and your family for the loss of your dearly beloved mother. From what you have written about her, she was really a good mother and very capable lady. Your dear wife is also a very capable lady to perform the final cleansing ritual for your late mother. Not many people know or dare to do this. You have written such a beautiful eulogy. I am sure your late mother would be proud to read this. May she rest in peace.

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    1. Thank you Mun for your kinds words here and the post of their wedding in Phuket. My dad is naturally a patient man as he has no temper. I am glad I met a wife who is so capable and strong in all these matters. The Nirvana team were a bit surprised that they need not have to do all that. Now I think back everything, it was like a dream.

      If you ever visit Phuket and loiter in the old town area, you will pass this old mansion that has become a public museum with everything intact as it was.

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  27. Beautiful ceremony befitting your beautiful mother.

    This is sad news, Twilight. I am so sorry for your loss.
    ):

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  28. I am so sorry for your lose. Rest In Peace! Came to know that we share similar kind of Buddhist tradition.

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