Monday, October 16, 2017

Bad Wedding Etiquette

I just attended a wedding dinner of another colleague on Saturday night. It was held at a restaurant inside Goldhill Club. I didn't enjoy myself much even though I was seated with all the chatty staff from Accounts Department. I brought my wife along and that saved my day from boredom disaster. I really concluded that most local Chinese weddings would not change their typical scenarios.





I was so hungry and ate all the mixed nuts snack on the 2 plates on the table. I told the waiter to refill my plate to the maximum and he did pile up a mountain for me! I was still hungry and ate the 2 pieces of chocolates which were packed inside the table gifts for individual guests. That hunger pang ended when the bride & groom had entered the banquet hall and walked a big circle to reach their main table. The actual distance from the main entrance to their door was like 25 feet only , so they had to parade around an extra 500 feet journey like a circus arena to look like the King & Queen. Finally the first dish arrived our table at 8.45pm! I think that lateness was quite expected and I didn't eat any lunch except a brunch earlier in the morning. I had to watch my diet each time there were invitations to wedding or birthday feasts. So far I had only attended one wedding that dinner was punctually served at 7.00pm sharp and that was my own wedding! My late parents were scarily no nonsense socialites in town and had already planned our dinner with night long of events with singers, famous band playing with ballroom dance demonstrations and floor shows by the winners from the international ballroom dance circles. Anyways, I also do not remember eating the dinners that started at 7.30pm. Probably the earliest was 7.45pm and the worst ever was 9.15pm!!! All the guests cursed that 9.15pm dinner that turned them into hungry wolves at 9.30pm. I have actually blogged this weird incident HERE and the cause was because the bride's ji-muis (gang of brides maids) were busy counting the red packets many times to check whether they had raised enough funds to pay the restaurant!! The bridal couple had promised they would pay the full partial deposits before the start of dinner and the restaurant's strict manager held up all the trays of food until the promised deposit sum was being paid. In the end the groom's father had to sneak inside the backroom to negotiate and the food was promptly served.... eventually. I was speechless.






That night at Goldhill Club, I saw every guest at my table and all other tables were being glued to their smartphones and iPads! They were all from young toddlers whose smart parents used the iPads to babysit their kids so that they won't be up to mischievous antics or pull their hair down. All adults were playing games, Facebooking and even watching some hamsap videos together. This is the changing trend nowadays that food would be served late and smartphones would be in full swings. 

I have also heard of real angry stories from a cursing bride who married a university's professor. She was furious to find several red packets without names and one was sealed but empty inside. Another packet irked her to discover a RM50 note from a family of 5 persons (A couple & 3 children) I was taken aback to hear such angry & malicious words from the bride after the wedding and she swore that she shouldn't have invited that despicable guest and family for being cheapskates. So she checked her guest list so hard to see which guest gave the empty Red Packet! To her horrors, she realised the number of red packets could not tally with her long guest lists on the bride's side. That means several guests on her side attended & feasted happily without any pressies or monetary gifts. I actually took pity on this professor for marrying such a low calibre wife. Now that was over 25 years ago and their marriage are still on the rocks but the lifeless marriage is still intact for their 4 children's sake. The sister of the professor was my once "God Mother" whom I have disowned for some loan sharking disputes of hers. I have once blogged about my Loan Shark God Mother. She told me that her professor brother was the saddest man on earth as the 4th child was extremely handsome with brownish eyes and very fair skin for an Asian. Both the professor and wife have darker skins. He was sure that the child was not his when his wife was pregnant with the 4th baby. They had not slept together for a long time. They had met through some Cupid Services agency and got married!!




***






23 comments:

  1. i ponder why some people are so obsessed with their wedding, kaw kaw want to show off, no money but still want to show off, call an entire kampung as tho they closely know each and every single one...i hate going to weddings, and i believe it's just a ceremony, in the end, what matters most is in the hearts of two lovers...

    wouldn't it be better to use the money to feed the poor and homeless instead ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree that most weddings are "show time" for most families. Parents proudly marry off the child after taking care of them since babies. So different cultures have different styles. Yes, I agree that we should feed the less fortunate people and I am still doing this at midnights from time to time. If you see a lot of left overs from functions like fried rice or noodles, pass them to me. I would be happy to feed them as you can view from these links:
      http://twilightzone518.blogspot.my/2017/02/joy-of-sharing_3.html

      http://twilightzone518.blogspot.my/2016/04/beggars-cant-be-choosers.html

      http://twilightzone518.blogspot.my/2015/07/stalking-my-wife.html

      Delete
  2. Adui! This is not something nice to do at weddings.


    But I heard from my friend, her wedding also, she paid the restaurant with ang pows money that same night after the wedding dinner. I guess at least, she paid the deposit first la, huh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Chinese weddings are always so mahal until restaurants and hotels want deposits first. So the guests understand and just contribute their part to share the joy & lessen the bridal couple's expenses. It is not a must to even give anything but many are too greedy nowadays & chart out an ang pow forecast list. LOLOL

      Delete
  3. It is like a bad habit that will never change. I have sworn not to attend anymore weddings. Very fed-up that the dinner never starts on time in spite of the word "sharp" printed on the card.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes I enjoyed wedding dinners where I got to meet long lost relatives. Those weddings of business comrades or distant friends are damn boring. Zzzzzzzz

      What is punctuality in Malaysian weddings?

      Delete
  4. The last time I went to a wedding, I know the couple well, so I directly ask how much they pay per table, so that I know how much to give, if not, give less, malu...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes I would do the same too. Just want to share all the joy and cost too! ha ha

      Delete
  5. juicy stories from you again! I know about all these late serving of dishes so I always bring snacks to alas perut (lined my stomach). your story of the professor reminds me of the story of the cuckoo bird which lay eggs in other birds nests.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now i will learn from your style and carry my own snacks to the wedding dinners! Maybe bring durians and rambutans too! Wakakakaka

      There are too many scandalous marriages due to the cuckoo birds multiplying fast.

      Delete
  6. Again, you crack me up with your stories. Don't play play with TM...cross him and he will write about you on his blog...wakakakaka! :D I've had my fair share of wedding dinners starting late...and it's not about to change coz we're so well-known for our Malaysian time! I don't like to attend wedding dinners either coz it's usually long and boring and, unless you know everyone on the table, you end up making small talk that you don't really want to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aiyo! I am not so scary to 'name & shame' anyone. Sometimes some devils sent those very juicy & saucy thoughts to my mind. So I should share and create awareness so that my readers will safeguard.

      Weddings are the best venues to do people watching & gossiping the worst stories. My father's funeral wakes were full of gossipers too.

      Delete
  7. The smartphones really make forget the situations and interaction has lost sense, and many wants to face their Facebook’s rather real faces. Collecting red packers to pay for their own wedding dinner and food being denied or delayed because of late payment sounds unfair and new for me. Even in Indian weddings, the money collected as gifts are used to adjust the marriage expense but anywhere I heard lunch/dinner delayed because of late payment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Smart phones are definitely useful and keeps us occupied besides calling our contacts. The Chinese weddings here are different from the Indian Weddings. I hope that you could attend one someday to understand the culture. Usually the dinners would be held at restaurants and posh hotels where each table of 10 could cost a bomb. So if they have 50 tables for their many friends and relatives, the bill would hit the skies. So it is necessary to request for deposits.

      Delete
  8. yea nowadays trend has changed, not much of human interaction but all done with the smart devices....such a sad scene...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spot on! Sometimes we even texted messages across the dinner tables to gossip. So terrible lah.

      Delete
  9. Really if she sincerely invited her guests for the dinner, don't lah expect them to pay for their own dinner! sometimes its the guests that arrive late that cause the dinner to delay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with your thoughts that we should not expect anything. If they cannot afford and need to rely on guests' ang pows, better not get married la.

      Delete
  10. Everybody think that everybody will come late, so no one will be punctual for the dinner. I'll make sure myself arrive on time as per stated in the invitation card, but many will still take their own sweet time and come late even though it's not on working day where traffic not a problem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I also would try my best to be punctual. The new trend these days at the posh hotels would be the cocktail reception at the foyer of the ballroom. That seems to work and majority of the guests would show up early to mingle, take photos and drink cocktails. So fun!

      Delete
  11. It's probably just me but I don't have the heart to ask friends and family to foot the bill for my wedding dinner. When I had mine, it was prompt and we told all the guests to just come with their hearts and blessings, no red packet required. This was a treat from us! I didn't even waste money on a wedding gown ..lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You did the right thing and not to expect anything from the guests. Your heart would be free and happy ultimately. Nowadays the prices of wedding dinner tables could easily start from RM888 up to RM1888 averagely. Pengsan!

      My recent attendance to a wedding at Majestic was an eye opener. It was a small bites 5 course dinner and it costed over RM2,000 per table. Lagi pengsan!

      Delete
  12. Attending wedding dinners is a fuss, unless it's a family member's wedding.

    ReplyDelete

Big Bad Wolf Sale

This is NOT A PAID POST.  All opinions are solely mine & subject to my own discretion.    It was such a tensed GE14 for me...