TWILIGHT ZONE

My New Year 2012

2012-01-11T17:25:00.001+08:00

I apologize to my dear readers for my long silence again. What excuses should I give this time?

I better be honest to say that my lifestyle has changed in 2011 since the day both my aged parents moved to stay in the city. They need to live near us, so that we could help them to run errands and take them for doctor visits. I am happy to be able to care for them, now that they are living in twilight years. I thought I could manage well with my only brother around as my only sister lives in London. Hell no, my idiot brother is more or less living in Bangkok every week running his business. So I am left alone to manage all their weekly doctor visits, besides having to collect medicines to replenish their stock like almost twice a week. That is the amount of medicine in total both my aged parents are consuming. How sad for them. I wish they were just eating M&M sweets!

I had never visited hospitals so often in my life like now and this is scary to me. I keep telling myself that we must exercise daily, eat right food and take sufficient supplements so that we can hopefully remain strong and healthy always. Can we all do that?

I have lined up some new plans and resolution for my new year 2012.

- Come Spring, I will visit Japan together with 5 others for over a week. That will be fun on our own going to Osaka, Universal Studios, Nara, Kobe, Kyoto, Mt. Fuji and Tokyo!

- I want to change all my whole wardrobe to wrinkle-free and iron-free clothes so that I can save time & money for the outside laundry weekly. I can wash them myself & do away with ironing! The total sum of laundry saved yearly might be equivalent to buying return ticket to Hong Kong again. Please tell me where to buy iron-free office wears. TQ.

- My Fitness First membership has been upgraded to 'First Club' status like blogger TZ, so I can sign guests on weekends now. Yay! I will join classes & be healthy.

- I am getting the latest MPV next week so that it can easily carry our racing bicycles!

- Our brand new condo has been completed & sold, hope a trip to London will take place in near 2012.

I am in the mood to celebrate Chinese New Year this year, unlike the previous years. I have ordered so much cookies and bought fresh festive decorations. I will go to bank tomorrow to change the notes for red packet -Ang Pows!

Beware of Highway Robbers

2011-12-08T14:17:00.005+08:00

The holiday seasons is here again and most guys would be traveling back homes in their cars. Be sure to check your engine oil and water in radiator which are 2 simplest chores! A couple of days ago, I saw a car which exploded and caught fire! The whole MRR2 was jammed for hours due to busy body motorists like me, slowing down to 'kay-poh', bow, pay respects and take photos! Ha ha ha, that's me!

We've read so much news about accident-robberies lately. I had my own close brush yesterday morning at 9.30am (7/12/11). I just passed Jalan Duta Toll and entered NKVE highway, driving uphill at 120kph speed along the fast lane with many cars.

Suddenly, I saw a head staring at me from my car's front passenger window. It was an Indian man riding a motorcycle so closely and he signaled me to stop my car. I was stunned while eating my bento happily. His hand gestures told me that my front left tire was smelly and emitting smoke! At once, I was suspicious and ignored him, remembering about the spate of accident-robberies. I sped faster and he also rode ahead, still turning his head occasionally to point at my tire. Now my head became unsure whether it was a genuine matter or robbery attempt. Why on earth would this jerk be so kind to risk his life in a high speed manner to notify me?

Anyway, I had a flat tire last week and it was a kind Malay family who signaled to inform me of the real flat tire. So I stopped my car after seeing the Indian motorcyclist was farther ahead of me. I got down from my car and to my horror, the Indian man stopped his bike and made a U-turn back to approach me. He was so swift to park his bike right beside my front left and squatted down to tap my tire to show me. I backed myself and stood far behind my car to take a glance at my tire. I told him that my tire was perfectly fine. He insisted that it was wobbling and emitted bad rubber smell. Next, this persistent man in his 20s stood up & pointed onto the shirt he was wearing to insist that he knows about vehicles. His dark navy blue shirt had plenty of embroidered logos which included Petronas, BMW and many others. Quickly, I just jumped into my car and sped off for my life.

Just 20 meters away, there were other Indian motorcyclists waiting and looking at their comrade haggling with me. I am so glad that I still have all my fingers intact to type this warning.

Pray For Thailand

2011-11-14T17:26:00.008+08:00

We all have been saddened by the long flood disaster that has hit Bangkok today. While the water level has dropped significantly in Ayutthaya, the woes in the city of Bangkok remains unsolved. Their Loy Krathong festival has just ended and the Thais were still in the festive mood to place their wishes onto the flower floats down the water everywhere! They did not have to gather at the big rivers or klongs (canal) at all.

Some Thais are angry at the prolonged disaster and blamed the Red Shirts instead besides their weak government as reported in news. I asked a Thai lady the reasons the Red Shirts were being blamed? She pointed out that the Red Shirts had earlier on collected many bags of their own real blood and smeared them around the city including splashing outside ex-PM Abhisit's house at Sukhumvit area. They said their uttered curse was grossly horrible and had brought this disaster in return, as expected to their folklore beliefs. So better not curse anyone as they might work!

I have been gluing to my Facebook everyday to check on the well being of my Thai friends and relatives. I think most of them were badly hit with extensive damages to their houses. Some of them are so wealthy and left their homes submerged while they retreated to their posh condos instead.

I have stolen all the photos from their FB without their permission to share with you all here.

They taught me that when your legs are submerged in murky waters for too long, your skin will peel besides getting bad sores. Their remedy of prevention is to smear their legs and body with cooking oil before wading across the flood waters!

These lady friends still could be in high spirits and jovial mood!

They hired this gorgeous hunky man to build low walls to barricade! He was so hot that the ladies had to post every inch of his movements all over in their FB!! Polygamy is nothing to the Thais sometimes.

This is the typical scene outside their homes and the water does not move at all. The residents would just measure the depth everyday, cm by cm! If it goes down by 1 cm, they would be jubilant and even celebrate!! That is how low they pin their hopes!

This rich family has abandoned their home as the low walls and sand bags could not save the main door. It has reached their gate posts outside.

My friend who is a Merchant Exporter at the Baiyoke Towers rallied people to help make thousands of life jackets ala Cottage Industry style to distribute out.

The flood has badly affected over 9.5 million Thais, young and old ones.

A royalty friend showed the photo near his home where the 2 canals from the North meet days before the whole city was flooded as it was not easy to prevent such a big flow of water.

His mini palace could not be spared too but he did not post his home being flooded later probably due to the electricity being cut off eventually, so no facebook.

This is the daily scene in the back lanes Soi around Bangkok where they have to wade across very dirty and blackish water. How on earth could I swim happily inside those murky waters when I was a kid? Call me stupid then! Ha ha...

Millions of sand bags were being made and sold to barricade all the river banks but with little success.

This photo is most popular inside the Thai Facebooks besides those showing monkey carried a dog and pigs riding boats.

Pray For Thailand.

My 18 Hole Experience

2011-11-01T23:25:00.008+08:00

A thousand apologies for disappearing from this blogsphere for so many weeks! I was caught up with my work which was the toughest stint I ever had done in my entire life. I hated every minute of it as I suffered so terribly from tremendous pressure, lack of sleep and no rest with countless skipped meals. Today I have lost over 5 kgs and have been burnt by the sun till I look like OREO cookies!

My company was being roped in at the 11th hour to handle the whole A&P for the recent international golf championship which was being sponsored by our leading bank. We had never done any jobs of that size and amount, not mentioning within 3 weeks!!!

Their other supplier was being dismissed at a very last minute and we went in, not realising it was so scary and life threatening to me. I had sleepless nights and often slept in their clubhouse's sofa or inside my car! I had nightmares when I slept thinking that things went awry and wrong. My whole life turned upside down for once and I wished I had died inside my client's office. I lost count the number of times I scolded my boss too as he was an asshole when I needed his support. On average sense, these jobs would require 3 months and not 3 weeks for sane fellas to cope.

I am glad the 3 weeks nightmare had ended and everything ended up happily and well. I had to monitor close to a 100 workers working in our 2 factories producing all the miracle items on time for this international event. The whole set up was mammoth and mind boggling as everything was being custom made within the shortest time. They demanded perfection as everything would be aired live on TV daily across the USA and other countries too.

This is their Main Score Board and it was the SUPER TOUGHEST item to create as it required so much precision and accuracy. So much tempers and abuses were exchanged to get the 3 giant boards up on time!

Take a closer look to see why it was so tough to design and custom make. The clients were pleased with the results and felt they all looked great & fantastic! You might think that they should use an electronics board instead but I found out that it was not suitable for such golf tournaments as they have too many little scores that need to be changed every other seconds. No way one could just type on the computer to update them as it could be messy.

The tournament was officially kicked off on Thursday by our PM Datuk Najib and the finals was being held 4 days later. The huge crowd fans and supporters turned up eagerly at sunrise! The finals ticket was priced at RM200!! Discounts were given to CIMB and PGA members. Who says our economy was bad?

Many celebrities arrived & turned up in Ferraris, Lamborhginis, Bentleys and Cayennes. The above Hong Kong actress looked familiar and alas, I forgot her name. All the big players who flew in from USA and worldwide arrived like hottest stars with media cameras flashing continuosly and blinded my eyes. Everything was perfected to the finest details with Westin Hotel serving their superb F&B throughout the event. I was running between Westin Hotel and Mines for 3 days overseeing their private function set ups too. It was a great eye opener for me to learn many things.

BMW was one of the sponsors and they generously provided their most luxurious fleets to fetch the players and guests daily. It was like a Hollywood scene where all the best and most luxurious came together amongst the Who & Whos!...

I drove on the buggy car everyday checking on the entire 18 holes fairways and passed the affluent million dollar homes lining on the rolling hills that overlook the beautiful lakes, valleys and it was so heavenly! I asked myself where do these filthy rich families get their money and wealth? Why not ME? The number of cars they parked in their huge basement of their homes sent my eyes popping out of sockets!

This is the home of our former PM! It looks vacant with his collection of cars parked outside. I passed there daily for 3 weeks and it looked idle. Where has he gone to? Hello?

They even have special boats to ferry the special guests to watch the players closely from the waters! This is indeed the playground for the Rich & Famous!

I looked at this 6 Star Hotel and felt that it has lost its shine and glory, for reasons unknown to me.

Along the way, I bumped into a Thai comrade who is the TV Star and host for the Sports Channel Of Thailand. You might wonder why I didn't post any photos showing the players teeing off? Well, no one was allowed to click photos when the players needed the fullest concentration. Only media team were allowed to do so but using zoom lenses from far.

When the game finally ended, our handsome King arrived in his special yellow buggy car that was named "ROYAL 1".

Our King presented the championship prize of US$1.3 million to Bo Van Pelt from USA!

This lucky man was leading for the last 2 days before finals and we felt he could win as he was the BEST without doubts! Congratulations to this almost 7 footer player!

My brains and soul are not back into normal mode yet, so need to catch some more sleep!

Welcome To Ha'adyai

2011-09-02T16:25:00.001+08:00

My recent trip to Ha'adyai in South Thailand was an eye opener since my last trip was some 10 years ago. However, it was a pleasant reunion for the entire family again after almost 20 years! So much has changed with new hotels, shopping hubs and highways.

Let me share with you the correct spelling and pronunciation of this town as many friends often checked with me on its accuracy. It should be spelled as "Ha'adyai" instead of Hatyai. It is pronounced as Hard-Yai. It means Big (Hard) Town (Yai)... Yes, it is Big Town! It was the biggest town in the Souths during the early days when there were no other towns nearby besides their capital city of Bangkok.

It was their no-ending GRAND SALE in Amazing Thailand as usual. Their commercial ads do look catchy and bright like this shopping bag above.

They have many arches and street corners displaying their love and respect for their monarch. However, their streets are still congested with motorcycles and tuk-tuk (mini taxis) roaming in notorious manners. Some have not changed in their bad driving manners when they emphasized too much with their daily greetings and polite gestures. How contrasting! Faintz!

I love their street lamps very much which looked so graceful and artistic. I almost got knocked down by a car for staring up at their street lamps for too long! LOL.

There was another GRAND SALE shopping bag in another street with a huge Coca-Cola bottles beside. I thought I saw a similar bottle in Phuket Island too.

This is one of the shopping street off their 3 main roads which is named after my very distant relative - Niphat Uthit 1, 2 & 3. Malaysians often described Ha'adyai as a small town with these 3 main streets only. The above photo shows the Central Department Store with its Thai flags on the left and the hotel on the right is famous for being big, nice and haunted. The haunting rumours started when it was flooded until water seeped below into their basement car parks where over 10 victims were trapped and drowned in their cars! So scary!

This is what I mean by congested! They drove super fast and tailed behind by inches! Seriously scary!

Look at how the tuk-tuk driver came up close to our knees! My face turned pale in fright. That idiotic tuk-tuk driver just laughed when I snapped this photo. My knee is the right one and the right big chunk belongs to my Swedish brother-in-law.

This is their famous must-visit market which houses all the tiny stalls selling clothes, faked brands and Thai food stuffs! Wear light clothings when you visit that place as it is often humid and crowded where your body will easily rub other bodies! I was often bodily molested by fat old aunties!

Their display of colourful clothes often lured ladies to shop and bargain like zombies. They often ended buying what they don't need. That must be the work of Thai charms!

The hawker food is a tempting fare. Look at their huge friend prawns and crispy chicken wings that go well with their white glutinous rice! Oh Mama, so yummy dei!....

I took the city view from my cousin's hotel room. I am waiting for him to finish his full refurbishing before snapping his new-look HOTEL. I wonder if he will take another 10 years?

Instead of having breakfasts at the hotel, I preferred to walk to the back lane to order take-aways from this stall which catered to a wholesale market's vendors. They sell very cheap drinks and Thai cakes where I could order 2 tall cups of delicious Thai Iced Coffee with chicken rice and Thai cakes. All for less than 50 bahts!!! Seeing is believing - Amazing Thailand!

The New President

2011-08-28T22:37:00.003+08:00

It was a joyous celebration for our Tan clans in Singapore over the victory of Uncle Tony. It was a tough fight that he narrowly won the presidential race! We hope to see better progress for the republic. Not too long ago, he slipped into Penang quietly for a vacation with his family and my parents took them to eat ice kacang and char koay teow at the famous former Great World Park. He was still his humble self and enjoyed the simple hawker food.

Congratulations to Peter and Sharon on the victory of your daddy.

Festive Hampers

2011-08-25T14:46:00.002+08:00

The long holidays will be coming very soon, that is next week! Many people are applying for 2 days annual leave to enjoy a whole 9-day long holiday in Malaysia! The traffic here is getting mad with jams all over the bustling Kuala Lumpur city. The heavy downpour and flooding adds more chaos and tension to road users. I have seen the tow-truck drivers making a roaring business! They are waiting eagerly everyday at the accident prone areas like hungry vultures! My friends, drive safely and please do not speed like a racing devil.

On the lighter side, I went to collect some festive hampers yesterday for my tyrant BOSS who spent a total sum of RM2,890.00.
I had a big shock of my life to see one unique hamper! Take a look yourself and tell me if you understood my shock!

Happy Holidays My Dear Bloggers!

What did you see?

Blogging Is Fun

2011-08-22T10:34:00.003+08:00

I enjoy reading blogs very much as many brilliant bloggers really taught me many new things and useful tips as well. Many well traveled bloggers shared their lovely photographs from their exotic overseas trips. I must thank them all for their sincere efforts to snap the pretty & exciting photos with intention to post into their blogs to share these eye-openers! They are really kind hearted and selfless bloggers who deserve a nice pat and hug.

I disliked reading my own Facebook lately as I often saw personal or political hatred messages instead which is not good for my mind. It was too disturbing sometimes to know too much without being able to judge its truth. The same goes with some local newspapers which carry biased news. That's why I still welcome bloggers with open arms into my life! They keep me amused, tickled and updated for free!

I have received numerous 'Blog Awards' and I thank them all but I never displayed them at the side of my blog. I felt that it might generate unhappiness and hurt instead when there so many good bloggers out there who deserved the mention instead.

However, I have been lucky to receive little gifts that made my day. It is the thoughts that brightened my day when I received them in the mail. At first, Blogger FoongPC asked the readers to guess the name of the hotel he stayed in Bangkok and it was so tough as there are hundreds of them to pick. Lady luck hit my head and I guessed it correct - Spot On! Bingo! He sent me 2 bottles of toiletries which he got them from the 5 Star - Dusit Thani Hotel where he stayed. So sayang, I never used them until now!

Next the Blogger Wenn went to Europe and decided that I should be one of the lucky recipients for her souvenir. Oh my, she is so clever to courier me something that was so nicely packed. Guess what? It is a nice shiny silver spoon all the way from Lucerne, together with packets of 3-In-1 coffee! I had a really good laugh in my office as I thought I could drink it right away. To be honest, I was not born with a sliver spoon but now I have been given one! That was the rationale and way I looked at this silver spoon! My lucky spoon! Thanks Wenn! Thanks FoongPC!

My lucky silver spoon and scented gels to bring me better luck, happiness and good health!

Finally, I made myself a nice cup of coffee yesterday using my finest antique china set which is almost 100 years old. The new silver spoon stirred my coffee well and the aroma was great! Mmmmn!....

Beneath my coffee table, I have placed a piece of porcelain antique which is over 100 years old. It was made in China during the early Ching Dynasty. Its design carries the motifs of the Dragon & Phoenix flying in a balanced harmony. The length is approximately 13 inches long and weighs 1/2kg.

Can you guess what it is?

Mud & Water Brings Wealth

2011-08-11T12:25:00.002+08:00

The weather has been so unkind these days. Over here in Kuala Lumpur, it has been pouring heavily almost twice a day, flooding so many highways, streets and corners. This is the best time to sleep longer at home or stay indoors at office.

Goodness No! Being the right hand man, my tyrant boss naturally assigned me a tedious duty that sent me outdoors everyday like his miserable slave. I call him tyrant as he behaves like one. Have you seen any boss who speaks real 'kao' vulgar Cantonese words during the management meetings? Yes, my boss does! Everyone's mothers' and ancestors' private parts will be quoted & verbally molested, making his speech so flowery vulgar! Adoi!
Anyways, I often giggled instead as the meetings were never boring especially when the senior managers often clashed swords verbally and hurled abuses at each other in my boss' presence. That is so typical China Pek style of factory.

Everyday my mobile would be bombarded with calls from potential buyers. They would speak to me in English, Malay, Cantonese, Mandarin and Hokkien dialects. Goodness, those who know me personally would be laughing their asses off! I am a real 'Banana Man' whose speaking ability is better in English and Thai language than any spoken Chinese, not to mention Mandarin!

The photo above shows the huge piece of Star Fruit's orchard land which my boss will be building boutique factories! He hung over 20 banners all over Cheras and my mobile seems to be the hottest favourite number for the businessmen to call. They are so hardworking and could start calling me from 7.00am each day!!! That means they were on the streets to start their working day at sunrise while I was still SNORING asleep!

Whenever they expressed interest, I had to drive to the highest peak in Balakong to show them the site! The interested buyers were so determined that they would happily meet up in the rain, holding umbrellas! Crazy nia boh! My poor car, shoes and pants would be stained & soaked in murky tea water and thick mud! My poor leather shoes! Maybe I should ask boss to buy me new pair of Ferragamo or Jimmy Choo's shoes! Damn him!

This perspective design below is the limited 17 units of boutique factories that is selling like hot cakes in 1 week. It costs RM2.8 million upwards and the ah pek businessmen whom I met gave a me multiple shocks with the CA$H and wealth they have! I am sure our country's economy is still booming! No???

Hey, I am not selling factories in my blogs okay! I am not getting commission either! Just for illustration purposes only.

Happy Birthday To My Blog

2011-08-01T17:33:00.006+08:00

On the 28th July, it marked the 3rd anniversary of my young blog. I have come a long way since the day I started and I must say a big "Thank You" to all the bloggers who have shared so many interesting photos, information, stories and juicy gossips with me. I love them all. It has made me smarter and my brain is getting bigger each day with the valuable knowledge and happiness shared. It's priceless to me. A bigger "Thank You" to all the silent readers out there who were too shy to comment but preferred to send me emails instead. So funny geh....

I must admit that I first heard of the word "BLOGS" from my bestie Lifebook when we were office colleagues on the 42nd Floor of Menara TH Perdana along Jalan Sultan Ismail in 2004. It was an alien word to me then and asked him to show me the blogs online. I replied him that it was for mere busy-bodies to wash dirty linens. LOL..

From late 2004 onwards, I started reading several interesting blogs quietly and the earlier jokers were Legolas, Will I Am, Bedtime Stories, I Am Who I Am , 5 Elements Of My Life , Fable Frog and the earlier blog of Medie007. They never failed to amuse and make me laugh so much. Laughter is my Best Medicine!

I discovered that I have many Grandma Tales and Ghost Encounters to share and my blogging fire promptly just started. Now I am really washing my dirty linens sometimes to entertain my readers. I am just telling the truths, so what? I am thankful to all the bloggers whom I have met up and they have certainly made my life more interesting. All the spats have been really forgiven but not forgotten. LMAO!

Look! My honey presented me with this gift below! Thanks Honey & Muacks!

An iPad 2 with the hope that I will continue to blog often and keep my brains busy. I believe that blogging often may help to prevent Alzheimer's sickness. Do you agree?

I have drafted a simple "Bucket List" here to share. I have managed to achieve a few and plan to find time and $ to accomplish the others. It is tough to save money these days with inflation soaring.

Wishful List Achieved:
1. Lived & Studied in USA.
2. Visited New York's World Trade Centre (before 9/11)
3. Visited Grand Canyons
4. Visited Niagara Falls
5. Visited United Kingdom
6. Skiing in USA and South Korea
7. Climbed Mount Kinabalu
8. Visited The Great Wall Of China
9. Visited Angkor Wat ¬ World's Heritage in Cambodia
10. Winter Boat Race in San Francisco

Bucket List:
1. Climb Yellow Mountains in Shanghai
2. Visit "Silk Road" in China
3. Tour All-Europe
4. Tour All-USA & Canada
5. Cycle across Holland and Denmark.
6. Visit New Zealand
7. Visit Jaipur - India
8. Migrate to USA
9. Retire in Penang.
10. Become a Good Chef & Baker.
11. Have meals with Food Guru - Suituapui in Sibu.

To commemorate my 3rd Year Blogging, I have a little guessing game below. The first 3 persons who could correctly guess my blogger gym-buddy below will win my delicious home-made Cup Cakes!! Yes, I will bake them myself and send to you anywhere in Malaysia! So simple! Look at his steel body with ox power packed muscles!

Quick!

A Holiday & Funeral

2011-07-07T13:02:00.009+08:00

Just when I had happily packed my luggage for my trip to Thailand tomorrow for the long awaited reunion with my entire family and cousins in Songkhla, I received a bombshell that jolted me into paranoiac and highly tensed head the whole day.

My cousin in Bangkok sent me a Facebook message in the morning that her ailing father was dying and fading off quickly on his hospital bed. I quickly called my mother to alert her that her only brother was dying any minute and my cousin wanted her to speak to her dying brother's ears via mobile phone to assure him to go in peace! It gave me creeps for this kind of modern hi-tech comforts for the dying.

My old mother sadly started to get emo and didn't know how to call overseas from my brother's house. My brother was away in Bangkok as he runs a business there. I tried frantically so hard to guide my old mum over the phone the way to dial my cousin's mobile phone in Bangkok but fruitless.

As a child, my uncle studied in the most prestigious Debsirin School in Bangkok before graduating as a medical doctor from Siriraj Medical School, also in Bangkok. He married a gracious Thai royalty and migrated to work in US where he served at hospitals and clinics in Philadelphia and Fresno, California before returning to retire and lived in the elite area of Soi Rajkroo which is wholly owned by the families of my late uncle the ex-premier Chatichai Choonhavan who was overthrown in the 1992 coup. His grand daughter is the most famous actress who graced SK-II counters in Thailand today which I blogged once.

My uncle finally breathed his last yesterday afternoon after being in coma as a result of stroke many years ago. My family's debating dramas started whether to forgo the 11 air tickets to Ha'adyai and proceed to Bangkok for the funeral. Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong, finally my mother broke the shocking news to us that my uncle requested for NO FUNERAL and had pledged to donate his whole dead body to the Siriraj's Medical School for research! OMG! I had endless goose bumps and sweats of confusion! He was so selfless and kind till the end.
I do not have the guts to do that, not to mention pledge my organs, YET. Would you donate your body for medical research and let the undergrad doctors to slice into pieces for studies? The Buddhists believe that the heavens will bring all the souls with them when they have pledged their organs upon death. Since I am so sinful and I should consider to pledge too. Will you do it?

Bangkok's Siriraj Hospital which is located by the Chao Phraya's River.

Let me tell you briefly about this famous Siriraj Hospital & Medical Museum where even many Korean pop stars had purposely made visits to see the bizarre exhibits! It is the oldest hospital in Thailand and was founded by King Chulalongkorn in 1888 who named it after his young Prince Siriraj who died very young. Today it houses 6 museums being grouped into 1 with creepy exhibits dedicated to the death and illness. Macabre fans could see the embalmed bodies of murderers, ghastly deaths besides all the wrong births, twins and many others. Blek!

A male human's Elephantiasis-infected human scrotum

The head of a real victim of a gunshot wound where the head is neatly sawed in half lengthwise, to illustrate the path of the bullet-hole

A real Siamese twins who died

I will make my first visit to that world's grimmest museum someday and hope they won't display my uncle's body there for any reasons.

All the photos were swiped from various internet posts for illustration purposes only without permission, so forgive me please la dei!

Down Memory Lane

2011-07-02T08:00:00.000+08:00

Today, my old and frail mum is happy like a lark after asking me again the time my sister would be arriving tomorrow. I have just one older sister who was quite a well known model bimbo in Penang during her younger hey days for her natural Pan-Asian looks and sexy low-cuts dressing that would send all the horny old men ogling inside the popular Cinta Discotheque at Rasa Sayang Hotel. She has remarried and currently lives comfortably in the outskirts of Greater London with her Swedish hubby & kid. I have not visited her fabulous home yet and she has been proudly sending me satellite photos to brag about the length of her house's lawn which spans some 400 feet long with a natural river running across! Dei, that is really supposed to be an excellent Feng Shui for wealth to flow continuously. No wonder she is so bloody rich without any inheritance! So this pretty bimbo lass would be arriving from London at 2.40pm tomorrow.

My mum has happily booked and is paying for all of us to fly to Ha'adyai next week for a long awaited reunion for over 10 fellas. It has been over 2 decades since we made a visit there as a whole family. My playmate cousin who has inherited his father's hotel in Ha'adyai has kindly invited us to put up for free! We have been staying in this hotel for free since I was a small kid and it has recently been refurbish all over again to upgrade it to 5 Star eventually. I am having real butterflies and mixed feelings about the trip down memory lane because so many dramatic things had happened since I left my last footprints 10 years ago.

Both my sister and brother had graduated from South Australia and Canada when we attended my late grandfather's funeral in Thailand many years ago. It was a sad period and the local radio was blaring whole day the funeral details of the passing of the Chief Police Officer. The news lurking inside the vegetable market stalls became hotter when mum and her sister quarreled like kids over the wreaths of the funeral. Adding on, my 2 oldest male cousins fought and screamed over the many medals given by H.M The King to my grandpa. I just sat there and watched the soap dramas without grabbing my share of medals! The folks in that small town simply loved to gossip anything! In earlier years, I had smartly taken all the most valuable old antiques pieces that were some 100 years old from grandpa's shelves. I simply begged my old grandpa to just give me the heirlooms when I was still a school boy and he did as no one else was interested then! Heh, heh.. I might sell all these Ching Dynasty porcelain antiques someday or just donate them to the Museum.

I have much vivid memories of Songkhla as I was whisked there to greet my grandparents when I was barely 2 weeks old then. My growing up years was really kampung-like and it was boring like hell. I used to walk aimlessly along the nearby lakeside and Samila beach to fondle the golden mermaid's breasts!

The mermaid's breast is so shiny as thousands of tourists have fondled it! My DNA is definitely there too. I used to hear folk tales that the mermaid actually slipped off at night and swam into the sea everyday. She would return before dawn. I used to believe all these craps cos I was such a fucking stupid ass boy! LOL..

Take note there is a rat shaped island behind the mermaid and that's called "Rat Island" to the Thais. I have never been there and I don't like rats either.

My playground was on the hills overlooking the Tinsulanonda Bridge which connects to the highway leading to Bangkok. Did you know that "Soi Petchkasem" is the name of the longest road that starts from Bangkok till the South of Thailand?

There were no toys at home. Mosquito killing and fishing were strictly forbidden as my grandpa was a staunch Buddhist! Dei, how did I survive my childhood days? I often swam in flooded murky waters with neighbourhood kids and climbed the hills opposite our house to catch monkeys. We all drank untreated rain water at home and survived too. Come April 13 yearly, I would hose the passing cars and Thai folks with water during their annual Songkran Festival. In return some bitches would smear my face with white powder and iced water to numb my hands. It was truly fun and happiest time. There were no worries and everything was just Sabai, Sabai....

My grandpa was originally from Samutprakan in Bangkok where his family mined salt from the sea and that made him so saltish and stingy. His last CPO posting was in the South and he decided to retire in my grandma's native town in Songkhla where he preferred the laid back & peaceful lifestyle. Eventually, he bought a small wooden house on stilts nearby the Thalae Sap Songkhla which is the biggest natural lake in Thailand. He kept making extensions to his house and compound until when he passed away. By then, his house had transformed into a big concrete 2 storey house with 9 rooms on 1 acre of high gated land which was surrounded by many shophouses he had built. He had 4 maids and lived comfortably on his collected rents & pension. Next door to his house is the famous Wat Laemsai Temple where he often invited the monks over for lunch weekly. I played inside and outside that temple grounds all my life. Come next week, I will be back to the old house and playground once again.

This is the old photo taken outside the same temple where I played most evenings. Can you guess which brat is ME?

Sawasdee Kub!

A Lonely Dinner

2011-06-27T19:33:00.001+08:00

I have a cousin's wife who often throws lavish parties here and I am always the top in her must-invite guest list for my filthy mouthed and racy jokes. I didn't know that it pays to be a gossiper and jester at dinners. She would often have home cooked dinners at home in TTDI complete with finger food, appetizers and main courses served in matching napkins, Noritake Chinas, Euro-cutlery sets and even door gifts!!
Otherwise she would often host at Shangri-la Hotel's Chinese restaurant. Her late grandpa was Penang's philanthropist and tycoon who was better known as the head of Malaya's Chinese Chamber during the Japanese occupation. So generosity and charity still runs in their generations till today.

She changed her last venue to a somber place in KL city which I had never stepped foot upon. A long table was being reserved that evening and I promptly got dressed in my sluttish outfit that night. I drove to town and it was raining in the chaotic traffic along Jalan Sultan Ismail.

Several roads were blocked in major junctions and I could not turn into Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman. I just got off from opposite Sheraton Hotel and walked out with my big umbrella into Jalan TAR. I was surprised to see big crowds in the drizzle crowding near SOGO's front.

There were so many guys in local costumes, drenching under the rain and blaring music. I guessed some VIPs could be coming soon.

The Malay costumes looked very Thai styled to me. I still had no idea what was going on till they had to close the whole street!

Finally, I saw some funny shelf displays of perfumes and discount placards in the street procession. They were launching the Mega Sale!

Even big placards of bananas, roti chanais and teh tareks were being paraded. It was a funny sight and I forgot the rain & long distance walk.

I reached the venue after half hour's rain water tasting walk.

Coliseum Cafe & Hotel.

I peeped through the frosty windows to see a cowboy bar counter with high stools minus any Rhinestone cowboys.

It was opened since World War 1 and in hey days, it was popular with all the British soldiers and families who came in traditional hats and Victorian laced dresses and frills.

I went inside and sat alone. The hostess and whole troop of guests had not arrived yet. I just gazed around to see the ambiance which still carried its old world's charm of faded white table cloths and assorted arm chairs.

I flipped through its laminated menu and the cover says ~ Established Since 1921. So long ago dei! That was around the era when my grandpa was courting my grandma amongst the bushes in Taiping's Lake Gardens!

The hostess called my mobile and dropped me the disastrous news. The dinner had to be canceled as none of their cars could reach the vicinity. My jaw dropped in disbelief and I squirmed to call the captain. I regained my composure and decided to remain seated in a smaller table. It was my first visit to this much talked about place and should at least try the food. It was after all 8.30pm and the rain was still drizzling outside. I know I looked like a single fool dining alone. The other Japanese and Caucasian diners stared at me but I just put on my natural thick skin to bravely smile back.

Their old Chinese & Bangla waiters looked shabbily dressed in their white uniforms complete with big black buttons! They reminded me of the Chinese comic, Lao Fu Tze! Muahahaha! The service was excellent and polite as if I was in the old days dining with Winston Churchill.

I promptly ordered their famed Ox Tail's Soup which was bloody thick and so muddy!
The taste was damn rich and fucking nice!

The main course was the even more famous Oriental Chicken Chop. Oh boy, it was delicious and done to perfection!

If the food was bad after all the troubles, I would have hanged myself on their antique coat hanger! I will be invited there by the same hostess again soon.
Have you dined at this famous eatery?

Driving Pleasures

2011-06-24T02:00:00.000+08:00

How many of you out there suffers like me on the road? On typical days, I have to drive a minimum of 74 kilometers daily to work and back home. Somedays I clocked over 150km by just running around Klang Valley like a headless dog in massive jams and stressed city. That's my job and it's no bed of roses dei..

My faithful Blaupunkt 5-CDs stereo set died a few years ago and my music sensed also died along. I went around to ask shops to repair and the sales crooks merely tried to lure me to get a new set. They told me craps like it was tough to find repair experts and need to ship it to Hildesheim, Germany!! Blah~Blah~Blah! What the fuck man?

I was patient and started meditating in traffic jams instead or listened to silly radio stations which blared noisy commercials and talked shits that I loathed to hear. After 3 painful years, I nearly turned bonkers and lunatic on the road stressing my head daily in massive traffic jams! The taxes and tolls we pay will never solve the traffic woes. Just look at the damned Kerinchi Link!

So I decided to find a new cheapo set to replace and realised the square hole on my dashboard is too big. I could not find the right model to fit precisely until the audio man told me to get this latest Multi-media player set!

Voila! My lost life and mood came bouncing back!

This set fitted precisely into the hole on my dashboard perfectly. Muacks!
I am so excited cos it has multi functions for players like DVD, MP3, all TV Stations, GPS, Thumbdrive, iPod and blah blah blah. I still need to activate and add $$ to connect the TV etc. I wonder if I could install a dish to connect to ASTRO too!

Now I have live concerts of Lady Gaga, Jay Chou, Wang Lee Hom or BeeGees to serenade me daily with their performances while driving in crawling jams @ 5kph. It is safe yet entertaining.

If I am driving my honey and friends, we could laugh along with Stephen Chow or Mr. Bean.

If I am horny and need kinky stuffs to keep my vibe sensations running, I could view the Japanese hamsap man eating raw oysters! Ooops!

Smelling Good

2011-06-21T14:09:00.005+08:00

OooLaLa! I have strong penchant and cravings for anything that smells good be it food, babies or flowers. Using perfumes, colognes and aromatherapy have been my personal culture ever since I could earn my first dollar. My cars, toilets and even staircase are lined with fragrance to make the unwanted spirits giddy and stay away! Who says boys don't like perfumes? The fragrance of many perfumes are so sexy and could boost up my confidence in any required manner. I am sure you would agree and feel the same.

I have been buying them over the years from airport's retail shop promotions or warehouse sales where you could get the best bargains or at throw away prices! Just pay a song to smell good, why not?

I line my fragrance bottles on the dressing table according to the days and re-arrange them when my mood swings. To start my Monday blues right, I must use Ralph Lauren's Blue collection! It is so masculine and sweet to iron all my blues away.

I am a firm believer that the right fragrance will enhance the Feng Shui of yourself! So on Wednesdays, I will use Paco Rabanne to sit in long operation meetings! The smell on me will relax my boss' nose and he will forgive all my shortcomings! My boss is so man, vulgar and gangster-like, so mafia Paco does the trick to tame this devil.

I have this bad habit of going to men's parfum counters and abuse all their sample bottles on display. I would generously spray them all from my head to my both hands, hankerchief and even butt. The promoters would stare at me with all eyes in disbelief and mouths opened.
Kaneeneh it's free, so what?

To me, we must spray on something nice after dressing up for boring office, a lavish dinner or even funerals, otherwise it is not complete. I will not be able to walk and think straight plus I will get cranky and bitchy with my staff and friends.

I have been trying different brands along the way and I conclude the brands that I love the MOST are Pour Monsieur Chanel, Givenchy Gentlemen, Ralph Lauren Polo Blue and Guy Laroche Drakkar Noir. They may not be expensive but the smell somehow clicks well to pep up my inner soul and ego. They make me feel so MAN! I hate musky smells or fruity herbal lines. That will give me migraines and look like bubble gums!

Now tell me what you love to smell or use and I will try them!

Cycling Hotties

2011-06-14T17:12:00.007+08:00

It was 7:00am when the world was still asleep and my gang of cycling hotties were all geared up to shoot off from Putrajaya.

Can you spot me inside the group? So blurr kan and I must be the tallest one, right?

Damn it, I took this photo so I was not there. My groin hurts so I became their support car! This role is extremely important and you will know why.

These 3 hunks with really hard solid bodies and asses could cycle faster than a panther on prowl. This hobby is very healthy and expensive for them. In my gangs, their average racing bikes cost anything from RM3,000 up to RM40,000~!!! So bloody expensive man!

There were only 2 female cyclists. One is a familiar blogger Michi and the other is a Grandma... not me okei. I am talking about a real Grandma who squats in the loo.

This man looks Cool. He must be a cut and shaven. I mean his head lah.

After 60 km cycling, there was a confusion at Port Dickson. These dick heads could not find the shop for our breakfast. Niaamah, bad navigation and no GPS used.

Finally we found the famous eatery in PD, tucked away behind some lorongs.

Wow! I had a nice shock to see a Chevrolet Camaro sports car! That is what we saw in the Transformers movie, rite?

So many drivers had arrived at the same time to enjoy the breakfast at Suraya's. My eyes dazzled and my jaw dropped in disbelief.

Awwww! That's Pininfarina Ferrari! My dream car! I want! I want!

I wonder whether my bestie Jonathan will send one to me.
Do you think Jonathan will?

All carried beautiful Malaysian number plates and where did they find so much money to buy these cars?? Mind you, their cars are 4 wheels and the drivers' bodies were sloppy & fat like pregnant buffaloes! My friends on 2 wheels have solid torso and rock abs like DBKL's street lamps!

This shop has so many international clocks on the wall and they sell Nasi Lemak. It was so confusing for their international corporate image. WTF man?

My friends ate like gluttons from Pudu Jail and drank water like wild elephants in Niagara Falls.

This was what happened when one by one encountered bicycle problems like punctures or loosened links in the middle of the palm oil plantations! There was no mobile coverage and that's dangerous if I was not around. They could be raped by rural wolves since their asses are so hard. I had to monitor so many fellas like a tow truck culprit.

After tsunami, this grandma appeared unscathed on her bicycle and complained like HELL. Kaneeneh, no one could answer her calls as there was no coverage!
This darling Grandma is nearing 70 years old and she is the oldest participant in Malaysia's Triathlon Races annually
(Triathlon=Swim, Run & Cycle non stop)

Her legs are like ox and almost wrinkle free but she was the slowest and often got lost like a damaged compass! LOL.. I really salute her as she inspired me a lot. It made me think so much how my health will be like when I reach my late 60s age.

So a support car carries water and spare tubes. Next time I will supply bananas and foot massage services!

Hey guys, do some rigorous exercise and join our cycling. Put on the tightest skimpy pants and show off your chestnut balls ok. We are heading to Ha'adyai soon! Yay!

A Surprise Gift For Me

2011-06-09T15:50:00.002+08:00

I often envied some bloggers like William who boasted about their besties who shared so much happiness with them. Today I need to brag my own bestie ~ Jonathan who is a Sibu born stud. After some 10 years lapsed, we managed to contact again and yakked on the phone for many hours like gossip girls.

Both our phone bills hit the ceilings until blogger TZ had to shake his head and blogged about Grandma doing his oral exercise! Ha ha... I was piss-flattered and please read his POST HERE.

So 2 weeks ago, Jonathan went to Taiwan for 10 days and I was bored to death by the sudden change and silence! I didn't realise that Jonathan was getting restless too for not being able to yak with me coz I was using a simple lousy 2-SIM card phone. He could not call me via skype!

While he was in Taipei, he sprang into action and informed me that he has bought me a gift which would be couriered to me! How sweet! I had no slightest idea what the gift could be even though I had visited Taiwan many times. I thought it could be some famous Kaoshiung Giant Bak-Chang dumplings or Duck Liver-Pate Gums! Yiaks!

Two days ago, I got home late after work and it was pouring cats and dogs till it flooded the city. My car was moving like a submarine wading its way home.

Voila! I was so thrilled to see the box of gift waiting for me. It is not my birthday and not yet Christmas but my bestie sent me a GIFT below!

Awww! He was so sweet and I wanted to cry! Hoo Hoo!

Guess what Jonathan sent me??

Scroll down...

down...

The latest Smartphone - HTC Incredible S.

Thanks heaps Jonathan. Muaks!

We shall be yakking longer and sweeter.

Abandoned Cars Everywhere!

2011-05-31T01:04:00.004+08:00

Every weekend, I would drive out of my way to Sri Petaling to send my laundry & collect the freshly ironed crispy smelling office wears for the whole week. It is so weird that I still patronize this same laundry shop since 1995 when my ex-Hong Kong boss operated his agency just next door. I have been so faithful to this shop for 16 years! They are not fantastic or cheap but I keep slapping my face for sending my clothes there. The old couple has sold off this business to a new younger aunty who is really a "Sei Pat Phor" to me whose mouth is full of the grime words always. Maybe she has been washing dirty linen too much, hence her words uttered is such, too.

Now I wanna point out that each week when I drove into this shop's quiet lane, I would see a red abandoned car. When it was parked there, I recall it was in mint and intact condition. It has been so many months and bit by bit of the car has been stripped.

First, it was 2 tires and then 4 tires before the windows got smashed eventually. Today 3 doors have been ripped off plus the dashboard has been cleared too.

It just made me wonder so much about this Red Car's fate!

Was it stolen?

How many strippers or thieves have torn it apart?

Why no one bothered to tow it away or report to the police?

Can someone give me the contact number for the "kereta potong" or junkyard?

I have decided to send this eye-sore away and redeem some cash from recycling. I might treat you to a Japanese Buffet with the cash.

You might have seen many other abandoned cars in your neighbourhood too!
Do something and clean up the environment!

FF @ 1 Mont Kiara

2011-03-23T23:39:00.008+08:00

Today is my 2nd day working out at the newest gym which is located at 1 Mont Kiara. I heard that this new shopping centre was built by Hong Kong's Li Ka Shing. Naturally, the shoppers and gym members consist of foreigners who reside around this swanky neighbourhood.

I have been suffering for a year plying the Duta Toll - Kerinchi Link route daily from work. after office hours. Whenever it rained, I would take almost 2 hours or more to reach home. After getting pissed with the previous gym at MV, I decided to re-join Fitness First which was planning to open this one at Mont Kiara. It would be perfect for me to easily turn in each evening to work out or relax instead of jamming along the Kerinchi Link and stress myself further. Remember that STRESS KILLS !

Look at their colourful frontage to welcome anyone! Now come and take a quick tour around this new "Platinum" standard gym.

Located on the Level 2, it has a nice cosy and warm interior with soothing coloured lights on the walls, ceiling and floor.

The reception and lounge area by the juice bar with 2 big Mac for me to scroll all your blogs that I love to read. Now I can drink my bottomless drinks there and bitch my comments in your blogs! Niak! Niak!

The changing room is warm with a touch of luxury feel and smell. For once, I could probably stop worrying of my locker being looted with their hi-tech ALARM locking system. Yay!!!

I often had no choice but carry some extra cash and worst of all, those money did not belong to me. Don't ask me why I carried them sometimes and I am not a loan shark anyway.

I was made to understand that this compact sized gym is very focused on their very special equipments and I must say that I really love 2 particular machines!

This is the typical group exercise area and you will never see a grandma like me there. I fear my heart would skip and I might faint while prancing about...!

Aha! This is the best cycling machines I have ever rode and it's truly hi-tech to inspire us to ride on. Every bike has its individual monitor like an iPad with touch screen. So canggih!

Look! There's a 3-D cyclist instructor to speak to you non stop and guide you all the way!!! Bingo! No wonder they do not need to have group cycling classes anymore!

This is the 2nd item that makes me Happiest to do my cardio now. Guess why?

Just look at the screen! So many games to play and I was so busy playing Mahjong 5 times till I forgot the time! It was past 1 hour of slow run and the thrill was still there! Check it out yourself what other games they have. So damn shiok lah and I was excited like a small child playing again...

The long bar mounted on the wall is a new exercise equipment which I have yet to see elsewhere too. I won't elaborate how they use them.

These weights are cute and new to me too. They seem easier to lift and swing like heavy handbags!

This is the last new item that caught my attention. I do not know its name yet but I saw the members using them under the personalized training. Well, I do hope that all my fellow FF friends from other areas would visit here for a change. Drop by here and gossip with me over coffee besides hearing some spooky news and latest investments I overheard from my bosses.

For God's sake, I am not being paid to share this new outlet's facilities with you and I am risking my new membership for taking their photos! Say thank you!

My Traffic Summons - RM6020!!!!!!!

2011-02-27T10:35:00.004+08:00

I had a very bad week with my brains numbed. As you guys know that our traffic summons deadline is tomorrow, I sent my staff to the police station to check my status. I had the biggest shock when she sent me the sms below.

Goodness RM6020!!!!

I knew that I am a road devil who often sped or raced. My fastest record was driving from Penang to KL in just 2 hours & 20 mins in a BMW 735i many years ago. My ex-boss who was taking a nap in the car, woke up in a shocking disbelief when I arrived safely at Jalan Duta's toll.

When I was younger student during the 80's, my brother used to work for our family friend, the Honda King Tan Sri Loh Boon Siew who owned Honda cars and motorcycles chain business. My brother was the right hand man to his late son Loh Kah Kheng who later committed suicide by hanging himself. I could borrow their Honda cars from my brother and often went racing around Penang island. It was my craziest days on the road challenging some Matt Rempits who drove Ford Laser Sports while I accelerated in modified Preludes or Civics, beating them to pulp.

So I was not surprised that I have many speed summons to pay but not at this whopping RM6020!!! Anyone would have gone nuts like me. I went into frenzy and emo mode for hours, feeling the punishment slapped on me.

Suddenly, I took a good look at the SMS again and smiled. That fucking bitch had given the police the WRONG NUMBER PLATE!!!! Ha ha ha ha!!

Now my summons is only 5 tickets at RM1050. That's a big relief for me.
Happy Weekend!!

Breakfast WIth VVIP

2010-12-20T00:21:00.004+08:00

How are you guys keeping there? I have been drinking so much, 2 nights in a row. First night was with clients from the leading electrical brands at the opening of a local pub in PJ. It was free flow of beer with lots of crispiest roasted pork and grilled lamb complete with special chef's mint sauce and frills. They even had live performance on stage by 2 almost nude bimbo dancers to thrill the drunkards. So Sickening!!

Last night was another stint with my mother-in-law who was hosting a dinner to commemorate her new house warming. She oddly threw the dinner at a restaurant instead and started pouring beer for the guests. Her drinking bouts got her mood frenzy and she challenged me, one glass after another, all bottoms up. The drinking spree continued on to her new home where she pulled out her karaoke mikes to croon her old Chinese oldies. More beer flowed and she stuck the wrong cord by belittling my drinking ability. Oh my hell, I went into trance with her and we created such a noisy fare & ruckus that disturbed the whole neighborhood. We downed over 20 mugs of beer each and I successfully floored her into a drunk helpless woman! Ha ha ha! I was so happy and drove back to KL in 2 hours feeling elated like a devil!

I have been busy with my work as the company's new division which I will head as the GM will kick off soon with the green light given by the relevant Ministry. Besides hectic workload, I was busy training for my coming Mount Kinabalu climb next Wednesday.

I have been climbing Bukit Gasing every weekend, using all routes to scale the little mountain. I worry that I will freak out at Mount Kinabalu as the single journey up there would take no less than 12 hours with a night's stay at the halfway. May God bless me to reach the peak!
I had a slight hangover this morning and hiked for 2 hours with my wobbling legs struggling before deciding to have the best Roti Chanai for breakfast nearby.

When I arrived at Raju's, I noticed something odd outside the street. The MBPJ truck was there making reserved space for cars. The police outriders were arriving ahead as well. Oh well, this place is so famous that you will always see local celebrities and VIPs tucking in for breakfasts and lunch everyday.

We shared table with a bimbo actress who wore thick sunglasses, making much fuss with the waiters, ordering them around like a queen. I enjoyed my 2 pieces of crispy Roti Chanai on banana leaves. All of a sudden, the bodyguards stormed into the alfesco section where I sat and shoved the crowd to allow the VVIP to walk in.

Oh, so our dear DPM had arrived with his attractive wife and entourage of almost 20 close-knit family members!! There was a long table reserved for them ahead and their food was immediately served while I had to wait for more than half hour. Not fair!

A snide remark was overheard that we taxpayers paid for his petrol to come all the way from Putrajaya in so many cars. Well, that's fabulous life in the fast lane!

If you have not tried this place, do pay a visit there to savour exotic Indian food even though the menu is slightly pricey. It's delicious and our DPM enjoyed too.

A Memorable Wedding

2010-12-06T22:29:00.009+08:00

I don't really enjoy attending weddings these days and I guess I had too much of them from young. My paternal grandpa had 3 wives and 17 children with 58 grandchildren in total. I being the younger generation had to attend nearly all the weddings of my cousins since the day I could open my mouth to eat. It was fun when we are still kids as we do not need to know what is 'ang-pow' for.

Now that I am a working adult, I have been giving them out often, so I feel the pocket pain and value of red-packet gifts. This month alone will have 3 weddings and my pocket will be burnt along with Christmas around too.

Last night, I had to attend my younger boss' wedding! Yeah he's such a young boss in his 30s and tied the knot with a sweet bride from Penang, my hometown!

I must say that it was a unique wedding and I truly enjoyed the surprises. They had such a huge size wall for the guests to sign their wishes. That night saw all the prominent VVIPs, Politicians, Pak Datos, Mak Datins and distinguished guests like Twilight Grandma of course! Ahem! They all trotted in and hung outside the foyer for cigars, beer, cocktails and exchanged horrendous gossips! I still heard the Mongolian murder tales! OMG!

The Devil Wears Prada! That's my first Prada jacket which I yanked off from a warehouse sale for just under RM500 and no one knows that's a flthy cheapo, isn't it? Sshhhh!... So many people and sluts camwhored here pretending they were in Hollywood's red carpet ceremony! Siao!

The iPhone photo effect of the Platinum plated Bells for every invited guests. How to tell they are platinum? Maybe my boss was bragging nonsense but he sure has expensive taste. My Alphard Boss, this groom boss and many male staff are chain smokers inside our office premise itself! I hate it so much to share their daily air pollution and wish to file a complain! Where can I report?

Suddenly, the guests heard music from bag pipes as they led the arrival of the bridal couple. I just found out the groom's grandpa is a Scottish man! His whole entire sibblings are just like a box of Oreo Cookies and I was told the grandma could be an Indian! My boss looks like a white filling Mat Salleh in the middle and sandwiched by the black cookie brothers! I'm just kidding but it's true.

It has been years since I last heard of bag pipe music and it reminded me of Prince Charles in his skirts!

Here comes the Chinese Bride~!! She is so tall, very attractive and truly very down to the earth's core!!! Just wait and I will tell you why!.... The delicious food was served immediately at almost 9.00pm ~ SO LATE!!!! OMG!!! I was so damn hungry that I finished all my chocolate cake and downed 3 glasses of orange juice to fill my croaking stomach! I heard per table costs almost RM2000 but my ang-pow didn't tally!! He's the boss, so what????

After the boring speeches and cake cutting, we heard a sudden bursts of loud familiar music! It was a loud Hindi musical, sung happily in the dance movie of Bollywood's Shah Rukh Khan and Aiswarya Rai...!!! The pretty bride and dashing tuxedo groom stood up at once and started twisting their bodies, making their way bravely up onto the stage behind their main table! Their Mumbai's backup dancers were prancing on stage ahead, to join them! This really got all guests by surprise and my jaw just dropped down in disbelief! My boss really danced so hard with his bride, out against the music tune but it was so hilarious and everyone clapped & cheered wildly!

The Press Photographers hurriedly clicked the photos and here I am sharing with you guys ahead!

My crazy boss was severely drunk and dead pissed before the dinner ended! Heh! Heh! It seems like everyone got their revenge and made him drink bottoms up! I truly enjoyed that night of Bollywood surprises!

The Guts To Invest

2010-12-02T00:58:00.005+08:00

I was very elated and sang like a lark since I embarked into my new job pastures as blogged earlier. I managed to sell 5 houses and 1 factory, alone single handedly by my own sweat. It was no easy feat at all, knowing that all the fussy buyers were merely cash rich investors only, so making them to sign their cheque books required some Grandma's sweet talking crappy skills and curry spices to convince them to the fullest details. My Alphard boss was happier of course, as my original job isn't selling his properties at all. Now he will probably rope me in to prepare for their next coming tender for the biggest ever residential development project in the North. Yay!

When I get to smell my small cash rewards next year, I plan to fly off for a long vacation somewhere exotic and eye opening. Guess where?? I am dreaming of riding the hunched camels in the Gobi Desert along the China's historical Silk Road, besides visiting the ancient terracotas of Xian and watch the merry folk dances by Urumugi natives. Yay!

I think I inherited some property trading and arm-twisting from my old mum since I was a small little brat. In those old days, she built a whole row of tall shophouses in the sleepy town of Songkhla's main street and rented them out. That's when her tenants' nightmares began and she dealt one by one with a clenched fist and chopper in hand. Mum's tenants were all big male tyrant bullies and I remembered one asked us to take as many shoes we fancied from his shop in exchange for back dated unpaid rentals. Sadly, we took none as they were so damn old fashioned and many suited the Thai farmers or Phua Chu Kang!

Then, my late grandpa added to her woes and rented away her huge piece of empty prime land to some agriculture farmers near the famous Prince of Songkhla University. It was always fun to tag along as I had never seen a real stinking animal farm and I remembered singing "Old McDonald Had A Farm, Ee-ya-Ee-ya-O".... There were so many chicken coops and pig sties all over the vast green vegetable plots. I heard the din of hens clucking and pigs' grunt oink-oink while I stepped on all their manure dumps everywhere!

Mum was screaming at her tenants for not paying their rents and my grandpa was so soft to settle for 2,000 EGGS each month instead of cash. Back home near the famous touristy Mermaid's statue, my Thai cousins went bonkers and in tears for having to eat omelettes for every meal with lots of home baked cakes and all-egg desserts. They were farting egg pongs so much daily at home with their cholesterol and testosterone levels escalating each day. They all have phobia till today to consume eggs!

When I went to study in the States, I was surprised that I had the big guts to take up a lovely yuppie's trendy condo to rent for myself after a horrific stay experience at the typical nightmarish American boarding school. You can imagine those cafeteria dining fights, common open stalls male shower and corridor pranks by notorious African students on Asian targets. I had enough of that share, just like shown in the Hollywood movies with our own rebellious Oriental gang. Naturally, I pampered myself with this swanky condo and found a rich Korean and Japanese whimp housemates to pay the exhorbitant rent to suit my fancy! Later on, a homeless Korean gal who was kicked out by her landlord begged to join us 3 guys but we had no extra room for her. So, I wickedly rented her the sofa to sleep every night for US$80 per month!! That was a bomb price over 10 years ago. So, that was my first taste of real estate business.

Now back to my KL's scene today, I have been chatting with several landlord friends lately on their nagging headaches with their respective tenants. Late rentals and property damages seem to be top in the list of problems but I quickly pointed out the need to endure these expected shits while watching the prices of their properties appreciate.

Hey guys, please remember that this sort of investment requires your tremendous tolerance and utmost patience so that you could smile when you sell off your unit at a higher handsome price later. You will soon beam & laugh your way to the bank and forget all the stress your fugly tenants had given. Heeeeeeeee!

I don't mind sharing just 1 case of my current tenants who have been renting my units. 10 years ago, I lived in this petite high rise condo below which sits on a convenient and central KL's location, besides offering me the panoramic view of KL's skyline and Genting Highlands silhouetted against the dotting luxury bungalow homes on the sprawling hill. From my windows, it was like a good feng shui for me to admire their posh properties to keep my brain cells positive and probably inhale their wealthy 'chi' from afar. Kekeke!

The view of KL and Genting Highlands from my window.

I hired a property agent to select a suitable tenant from the waiting list. Yes, there were a number of potential tenants waiting to grab this convenient condo. I met this potential who is a married Iranian student with a cute face resembling actor Tobey Maguire. His conservative wife was heavily veiled in black from head to toe. They were polite and friendly, so we signed the contract with agreement that I had to change all the brand new soft lights to normal bright ugly flourescent tubes for his long study hours! Fine, I was sympathetic and forked out money to remove all my brand new lamps!

The second weekend after they shifted in, he called me to complain that there were so many dogs outside his window!

OMG! What dogs??? There were so far below outside where there's a popular weekly dog training session which has drawn lots of owners from all over Klang Valley! I told him off that he had all the lovely view to admire and not to look down below at the canines. What a stupid Iranian tenant I have got! He took great offense at the sight of dogs outside.

He finally wore my patience out after I have seen his number on my phone so many times over the years. I got my property agent to silence him forever and it worked cos I have threatened to kick him out.

1. He wanted me to replace all the blown lights and tubes which I did.
2. He wanted the 3rd air con in the living room cos his parents were visiting & Malaysia is fucking hot! I told him to pack his bloody bags and GO HOME!!
3. His bathroom leaked to the unit below and I had to repair them costly! Gosh! I guessed he and his wife must be having wildest kinky sex ala stomping camel style in the bathroom till my tiles cracked!
4. He complained the unit above leaked into his room and my sub-con told me it was the air con's pipe. My tenant is a confirmed moron doing his Phd. studies!!
5. He wanted to hang his photos and got me to drill nail hooks on my walls! I made him climb my walls instead!
6. He always paid his rent superbly late and blamed his internet was down to transfer. Fucked him I did, with the help of my agent.

This is my best advice that you need to hire and love your agent who can do tremendous jobs for you! My Iranian tenant has been tamed like an obedient camel and renewed another year! I am sharing and not complaining all this as the price of that unit has soared up 200% since its launch 10 years ago. Not all tenants are bad and I have another set of good heaven-sent tenants who never raised my eyebrows. We need to have the guts to invest in properties! Smile no matter what because the tenants are paying while your property is appreciating.

If you have no guts but doubts on property matters, feel free to ask me over coffee!

My Winter Holidays

2010-11-18T17:35:00.004+08:00

Where are you guys going for your Winter vacation?
Last Winter , I went skiing and ice sledging in the mountains of Korea. Remember how I met the Korean celebrity on the plane? I really had whale of a great time with my friends during that trip.
Guess where I have planned for my Winter holidays next month?

I have booked a trip to go hiking in the alps of Borneo Island on Christmas Eve! I have started my rigorous training daily by taking long walks from 5km till 10km. I also went back to my condo and ran up and down 22 floors besides taking big strides like 3-4 steps per climb. My groins and knees are aching and killing me now.

FACTS You Need To Know!!!
- Mount Kinabalu is the tallest in SE Asia @ 4,101 metres (13,455 feet)
- Accorded UNESCO World Heritage status

- You get to see 4,500 species of plant, 326 species of birds and 100 species of mammalian species besides Orang Utans
- The world's largest flower Rafflesia is there

- Mount Kinabalu is closer to heavens compared to Kuala Lumpur
- I might see Santa Claus waiting at the peak on X'mas Eve

The beginning will be trekking through miles of thick tropical jungles in winter jacket attire! The steps are so steep for miles! I will have to sleep for 1 night half way, somewhere! There will be 1 hired guide to lead us all the way up and down with more guides to carry my bags, water and cosmetics!

The next morning at 2:00 am, will be the 2nd part which will be all rocks scaling till the peak. So dangerous and exciting like a Fear Factor sequence. I will need to have bigger lungs, stronger arms and legs! The air gets thinner and thinner up there.

I must train hard and not freak out later!

Have you ever hiked to Mt Kinabalu?
Please advise me what else to do!

I have to reach the peak before sunrise to plant my "Twilight" flag there! After camwhoring NSEW, we all have to hurry and climb down fast before the sun burns and incinerate me to ashes!

Whooa! Rushing down all the way in tight ropes like this is slippery and so frightening. I might have to increase my insurance coverage!

I stole all these photos from internet and wonder if the above photo is stained with snow falls? I have no idea.

Look! Santa Claus will be there on Christmas Eve!
Tell me your wish list and I will ask Santa!
No promises okay!
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!

Here I Am

2010-11-10T01:40:00.004+08:00

I have recently embarked into greener pastures after a total of some 10 grueling years working with a Hongkie tyrant. It was a blessed opportunity that he managed to bring the entire brood to tour inside Hong Kong's TVB studios at Clearwater Bay and watch the real movie makings in action. Thanks to him for all the connections he had, including a Chinese Godfather residing in Long Island, NY.

I have been keeping tight lipped about my career's advancement until I heard a fresh rumour today from a reporter from Chinese-Press. He heard that I have teamed up with a bitch to set up our own firm. Oh no, I better post into this blog some truths before the twisted news get mangled further.

Well, I have several bosses today in this fleet of companies where 2 of them have to be addressed as YBs. It has been a real eye opener for me with their style of work and pace. New paths are mapped out and fresh venues are graced. Prior to this, I never had meetings at flight departure lounges, inside moving cars and even at the parliament's cafeteria. I have also been selling houses in between the cracks of my teeth to survive. That's how tough life could be.

Boss buzzed me on my intercom and invited me for a joy ride.

"What Joyride?" I gasped.

He ordered a car from N A Z A! My heart sank through the floor and there goes Bye-Bye to my bonus next year! I heard this model costs him around RM200K. Crazy!

It was so damn shiok to sit right behind this spacious monster, resting my long legs wide apart listening to the home theatre system's music. Boss sped off at the steering with his bodyguard behind and his 2nd wife in tow.
I was dreaming about the day I could buy that car. No I won't buy this monster, I would rather travel the whole world instead.

Now we have to decide the 2 digit number plate which will cost another bidding price at RM20K to RM30K! Why are some humans throwing money like that?

Around Penang Island In 88 km

2010-11-03T00:46:00.007+08:00

I consider myself as fortunate to grow up in Penang Island which is truly a unique haven. It has exotic landscapes, yummylicious hawker food, Legolas Beh Teh Saw, heritage buildings and nicest people like ME! Agree? (blek! blek! blek!)

I plan to retire and spend my last Twilight years, back to Penang of course! I have found the ocean front condo which I have eyed with a lovely balcony to laze on my rocking chair and watch the golden sunset everyday. You can just do the same and be my neighbour too.
No wonder Penang was voted as the "2nd Must Visit Destination" in the world by NEW YORK TIMES!

Recently, I joined the entourage of an elite group of KL cyclists to Penang for their crazee event to cycle around the island - 88 KILOMETRES of uphills, down slopes and through deadly terrains.

At 7:00am sharp, over 2000 hotties clad in their tightest biker shorts were flagged off from my favourite Municipal Council's Building at Fort Cornwallis.

They came in all sizes and colourful shapes, showing off their kinkiest racing bikes which costs anything from RM1000 to over RM20,000 for a 2 wheelie! That's outrageous price these days for designer bikes from London, Paris or New York. Silly me, just bragging the wrong cities for bicycles. Their costly outfits alone could outshine my Prada jacket, with their well padded shorts equipped with auto-protruding genitals booster.

An expired blogger was there too.

The thousands of cyclists rode excitedly to greet the morning's golden sunrise by the sea @ Esplanade.

Penang's contour is really winding with so many narrow streets along the coastal lines. Nothing much could be done to widen the roads as that would require blasting the hills.

The first victim of tyre punture. He mended and patched his leak with his own sticky saliva!

I was surprised that one of the many water-stations actually belonged to Rotary Club Of Bukit Bintang!

Argh! Poof! Quish! Erhhh! The road was steep towards Pulau Betong.
Notice 2 guys camwhored lovingly all the way!

The narrow roads before Telok Bahang are in widening stage now. The new road will be opened soon after many years of delay.

This is the huge water reservoir at Telok Bahang.

Nearing the end, along the famous Gurney Drive's stretch.

Many supporters carried words of encouragement under the hot blazing sun. I think they were unpaid clowns doing that!

The red shirts were not Thaksin's protestors but shutter bugs waiting to catch the best angles.

At the end of the cycling event, thousands of racers and moutain bikes were strewn all over the streets. What a rare sight!

This guy came back last of course!

The whole 88 km ride was just to campaign for a new cycling lane!!!
Oh Gosh! I think it won't happen!

Krispy Wormee Ala' Chiengmai

2010-10-24T17:44:00.005+08:00

All my life, my mum has been giving me multiple heart attacks and goose bumps with her shocking Siamese tales and bizzare Thai foodies. In her native Thailand, they eat almost anything that moves, flies, clings or crawls. She taught me the ways to identify the origins of the Thai cookings or dishes.

A simple example ~ Chiengmai food often looked messy and leafy. Southern food is usually sour and maybe too spicy. Insects like bugs, grasshoppers and ants eggs are from remote towns.

On my trip home last weekend, she gave me a box of tidbits and I fainted on the spot. She got them from Chiengmai, of course! So I shared with few hotties who came over to my home. They loved it so much and camwhored.

Let's see who makes the best advertisement for this Thai Food.

Hottie A

Hottie B

Hottie C

Hottie D

EEeeeeWWWWW!!!!

They loved to eat them all..

Tai Kam Koong

2010-10-20T20:38:00.004+08:00

On the recent 10.10.10 day, I saw many wedding invitations flying across and I managed to attend just 2, at a wee hour registration and the other a night banquet. Without much choice, I was assigned to be the photographer for the 7.00am session when my photography is self-rated as hopeless. Hey, I studied a photography subject in States but had been hiring professionals to get my job done. That's how agencies work, yeah...

Last night, I watched my favourite gossip E! Channel over Astro and they ran again the fantabulous wedding of the Mittal's Steel heiress.

Her lavish wedding was believed to be the most expensive in the world costing a whopping US$60 MILLION! They hired Kylie Minogue and Shah Rukh Khan to perform too. I had seen their huge mansion perching at the posh end of London's Mayfair, so $60 million is nothing to them. Imagine, how this money might help feed and house the millions of slum dwellers in India or Africa. None of my business anyway.

I had attended many close cousins and friends' weddings where many had various sweet bitter endings. Sadly, a high number ended in divorce! Seems like a trend now to pack up and walk out at the first sign of betrayal. 99% of the divorce cases were due to 3rd parties. What a waste of my wedding gifts, time and petrol!!

Once I attended a close friend's wedding at the Penang Chinese Town Hall where her wealthy Gold Merchant dad invited over 1300 guests consisting of all the Jewelry Shop bosses in town to attend too. Halfway, at the 5th dish, a gang of Chinese triads rushed into the hall with parangs and attacked some guests, smashing liquor bottles and turning tables over! We all ran for our lives before wailing sirens of police cars arrived. By then, many guys had suffered deep slashes all over their necks, shoulders and arms! Till today, I never knew the real truths!

Wedding times have changed!

I took this mammoth portrait and pano-stitched 3 photos together! Not bad eh!
Over 200 hundred couples signed and vowed that morning. The 2nd session in the afternoon saw some 160 couples! It was such a tiring morning for me to jostle in the huge dizzy crowd!

This is the groom who believed that the Phoenix sent his wife from heavens! Guess how I did that shot? Pandai kan!!

The night before, I attended a cousin's wedding eve and they gave me an eye opener!
They hired the Lok-Lok's van which parked outside and all the guests enjoyed dipping the foodie sticks! It was a nice change to eat that way.

The owner of the Lok-Lok cart was so young and looked like a blogger who reads my blog too. You can reach him at 016-9766623 for any special orders!

The groom proudly showed off his wedding albums which were taken overseas!

Next morning, the groom arrived home in the family's Lexus with a stunning Hong Kong bride clad in her vibrant gold and silver studded Tsimshatsui Chinese costume!

Whoooa! Move Over, he screamed! I was shocked to see a kempt Tai Kam Koong in action! He was such a smooth talker, beating all the Tai Kam Chiehs I had seen. For your info, I was once a best-man for 13 times!! It was my duty to plan, manage and tick off any Tai Kam Chiehs who flawed! This guy I saw was superbly well polished with no flaws. Thumbs Up!

His knowledge on tea ceremony procedures was execellent, knowing how to get the couple to pray and greet the ancestors and deities which is an important factor to consider the wedding as solemnised in the eyes of the spriritual world.

That night, Kam koong turned MC and sang all Anita Mui's songs! He crooned, pranced and danced on stage like Rose Chan wrestling a python.

He drew the excited crowds to participate with his tasteful jokes and dragged my Singaporean diva aunty up onstage to dance! Everyone would not have had a good time without this Tai Kam Koong! Have you seen such a man on duty?

More Haste Less Speed

2010-10-09T12:08:00.005+08:00

Over the years, my job often required me to travel out of office by road, sea & air. Lately, I have been slaving on the road so often like 2-3 times a week which was damn tiring after wrapping up meetings. I bet many of you have similar fate as mine or worse, having to witness much traffic crawls or senseless highway accidents.

I hated it when it poured heavily coz I got worried about other high speed vehicles flying along. I never failed to see cars which skidded and flipped on slippery roads. I believe if we drive at snail space, the car would not skid in the heavy downpour. Right?

Recently, I was driving up North in the morning and was caught in a massive jam that stretched from Rawang till Behrang. OMG! That was damn crazeeee! Why? Why? Why?

A car was pinned under the big trailer truck and later, I passed by with my handy camera.
After this long jam, I was caught in the continued jam! Walau eh, 2 accidents in mere 20 metres apart!

I was cursing the jams as I had to meet contractors at 11.00am and it was 10.30am!
OMYGAWD! I saw blood all over the road and CLOSED MY EYES!

CHEH!!!!!!

The truck overturned and over 10,000 big bottles of Tomato Ketchup rolled onto the highway!

Next case, road menace KINGS are the "Mat Rempits" who never failed to amused me with their stunts. Some carried the female partners who are now called "Minah Rempit" to perform dual-stunts!

Some over 10 hell riders overtook my car at 120kph!!! Look at their amazing feats. Do you have the guts to raise 2 legs up all the way?

I will give you a Gold Medal...!

The 2 infront of me made zig-zag patterns with legs raised up! So daringly beautiful.

Believe me, some Mat Rempits lost balanced when cars ahead braked and they were thrown off meeting with serious accidents! My friend sent me the recent photos of 1 Mat Rempit's fate below.

(18SG Viewers Only)

.....RIP.....

Big Turban Art

2010-10-05T13:19:00.003+08:00

I am much surprised my listed bloggers gang didn't blog anything about the 2010 Commonwealth Games in New Delhi. Wei, what happened to you guys? Unlike the Beijing Olympics, so many blogged photos and bragged all their hua-hua gifts and souvenirs. I was following closely at Legolas' Olympic series excitement earlier on and it was thrilling me to bits.

Nah, I had to google as I missed the TV broadcast the other day. I was amazed to see their way of designing & planning the whole event. I thought the photo below was funny and perhaps they were inspired from other borrowed sources. Well, art is free form and can be borrowed or copied to express them better. That's what my professor taught me in US college.

I thought they got the frills idea from Beijing's bird nest below.

On 2nd thought, I think they got the idea from below.

A Deeelicious Story

2010-09-29T01:31:00.003+08:00

I was doing some Spring-Cleaning to my antique photo album which had fungal print marks on every page. I stumbled upon this silly shot which I snapped when I finished high school.

I was the youngest and holidayed with this group of young executives who eventually became my BFF till today. I am forever grateful to them for paying all my expenses before I graduated to start my career.

That year in the 90s, I followed them to Pulau Tioman by boat from Mersing. All except me were scuba divers who had dived in almost every exotic marine beds from Mauritius, Great Barrier Reefs and Cebu up to Jeju Islands. Goodness, I could never afford to dive like them!

I love this photo taken from their backs. The centre torso in yellow cap is my Princess of Arabia! We have come a long way as friends and she fussed on me like a terror kid brother! I call her Abby and she used to work for Bristol Myers Squibb in KL after her decades of nursing stint in United Kingdom. In the gang, there was another beezee lady, Helen who hardly had time to catch up after leaving her famous purchasing post at Metrojaya.

Abby was most well known for her loud laughters, sweet tooths and world class stuffed Christmas Turkeys besides all the pastries, cakes and yummy desserts! The KBS drama featuring the chef Kim Tak-Gu reminds me of Abby who has the natural flair to toss, cook and bake! I used to lick my dinner plates dry.

They all rarely communicated as I lived away in Penang before leaving for States. Abby who used to attend the Bristol Myer's AGM yearly at Indiana in US had made an effort to visit me in Pennsylvania one summer. We had planned to tour Philadelphia and NYC as I could be her tour guide but her time was tight, so we called off.

So, I took her around Pittsburgh to see the beautiful European designed buildings of Heinz Hall and Carnegie Music Hall where the movie "Flashdance - What A Feeling" was filmed. She loved my rented condo in the swanky Shadyside haven for yuppies which had glass roofs to view the falling snow in Winter. I guess I was a bad son, living like a prince and even visited Trump's casinos in Atantic City as a student. Ssssshh!

Here, we took the train up to Mount Washington to view the skyline of Pittsburgh.

Next, we chilled at the giant fountain which sits by the the tip of the famous 3 rivers - Allegheny, Monongahela and Ohio Rivers. Bruce Willis often made his movies here and considered Pittsburgh as Hollywood Of The East. Before I returned to Malaysia, Abby had been promoted and transferred to Hong Kong to head the aggressive marketing division.

One thing led to another, Helen went on to open her chain of oversized dresses!

Next, she teamed up with Abby and Deeeeelicious was born!

I truly salute their hard work and sweat for everything today where Abby still heads the factory's huge kitchen now.

I have patronized several outlets and prefer the one at Dua Residences as it was a memorable noisy birthday dinner by a Sri Garden's student. They made so much noise in the private room till all diners threatened to throw us out. Later on, some bloggers also left a stained dispute on that wall. LOL!

Abby highly recommended me her sweet Mud Chocolate which could give me an instant diabetic on the 2nd helping. Believe me, I love the food menu but the bill hurts my pocket TERRIBLY. I would love to hear your sweet bitter dining experience too @ Delicious. Abby does not know I blog, no worries yet laaar....

Met A Korean Celebrity

2010-09-23T20:43:00.012+08:00

I almost forgot that my ski trip to Korea had some more photos yet to be uploaded, to continue from my earlier blog post ~ Winter Sonata

At the mountains in Hwacheon, we went to see the amazing ice carvings which were meticulously sculpted by the famous Harbin ice carvers from China. It was even colder inside than the winter temp -25C outside.

It was a spectacular and colourful sight at night to see many fish lanterns being strung up along every street in Hwacheon. Their fresh water fishes are very expensive and cleanest, according to the Korean folks.

Next morning, we were given special invitation by the Korean Tourism Ministry to visit their North/South border point which is out of bound to public. We passed so many sentry checkpoints manned by tough looking young soldiers.

No one is allowed to snap this photo BUT I did cheekily...
This is the view of North Korea with its double border fencing, dividing the 2 countries. Their mountains everywhere in the whole of Korea are very sharp looking and rocky.

At night fall, we arrived at the 5-Star Holiday Inn which has lovely mountain view and well heated large suite complete with separate living and kitchen are! I miss that place so much.

Everyone quickly donned into their heavy ski outfits which were rented from a store many kilometres away! Next time, buy some of your winter stuffs like hats, scarf and ear mufflers from Daiso outlets in KL for RM5 each! I paid mine like over RM100 coz none of my chibai friends taught me to get them from Daiso!

That's me ~ Grandma Twilight in yellow gear, ready to GO! Wooohooo!

They have so many world class ski resorts in their mountains and this one is popular with all night skiing fun for die hards. Many first timers fell, rolled and screamed. I also crashed into their barricade fencing when my braking failed! Kaneeneh it was too bloody icy.

Next morning, we went to their cultural centre after visiting the all-you-can-eat huge strawberries farm. We were taught the traditional way to make the best Kim-Chi with the freshest ingredients where after all our Kim-Chi were donated to the local orphanage.

Here's my "Grandma Twilight's Kim-Chi" and I hope the orphans didn't pass out after eating.

Later, we adjourned to the only well preserved old palace in Seoul which was spared from the cruel bombings of Japan's war.

It is very spacious and unique but not as huge and magnificent as the Forbidden City's Palace in Beijing. We strolled hurriedly around and proceeded to their real 'secret garden' far behind the hills.

This is the enclave of their 'secret garden' where the pavilion sits next to the frozen lake. Their monarchs had their sexual romps openly in this lake and pavilion. I could imagine wine being filled up in the pool with nude concubines swimming and teasing the princes! Just let our dirty imaginations run wild.

Next place, we visited the museum of a typical ancient home of the wealthy Koreans located in downtown Seoul. It was huge with courtyards and traditional winter heating where they laid burning coals under their floor boards! So pandai kan!

Look at their funny way of opening and latching their doors upwards like that!

After a week's fun in the FREEZING winter, we boarded a ferry enroute to Incheon International Airport. I love the sight of these flying hungry seagulls. Thousands of them flew to our boat and picked any food and crackers we offered. How nice to be a free bird, I thought?

On board the Korean Airlines flight home, we all hurdled to the back of the plane.
On my right, was a young tall Korean guy seated with his hands glued to his PSP watching a movie. The plane took off into the sunset and that's when the activities came to live.

Barely 20 minutes into the high clouds, 2 young teenaged girls giggled and came up to my right to approach this guy. They asked for his autograph!!! Wow! Wow!

Minutes passed, I lost count on the number of young teens parading to him to ask for his autographs using their T-shirts, Jackets, Papers, Books and anything they wore. Oh my, I took a good look at him and I really had no idea who he was! My entourage Malaysian gang kept saying that he was tall, so handsome and soooo gorgeous leng chai!

Alamak! We still had no idea who he was and they just snapped his photos non stop as well as making me the broker to get his autographs for them all without a fee. He kept smiling and repeatedly said "Thank You" very softly.

At midnight, I got home and googled my computer to find out his name!

Now guess who?

He is Korea's Badminton Star & Heartthrob.

Lee Yong Dae

Hit & Run Lucky Number

2010-09-17T14:40:00.003+08:00

It was dawn at 6:45 am on Malaysia Day.

I was getting ready to drive out of my house when I heard a very loud crash in the quiet morning's ambiance which sent many sleepers jolted from their beauty sleep.

A white Proton Wira had knocked onto this Toyota Altis which had parked nicely on the side road's pavement. I did not know how it happened so fast when there were no other moving cars that morning. The young punky lone driver got down in a daze to inspect. Maybe he saw a ghost and swerved his vehicle.

At 7:00pm, the wrecked car was still there! I think the owner had gone for a long vacation in another friend's car and parked his car at the safest spot. He will be shocked and piss in his pants when he comes to collect his mangled car later.

I will snap his photo with his wet pants later.

Now, the hit and run car's lucky number is
1578

Have You Been To Yala?

2010-09-16T12:57:00.008+08:00

Since I embarked to the trails of my late grandpa's past CPO postings in Thailand, I have just covered Phuket last year and Yala recently at the troubled South of Thailand. For a while, I was worried about terrorists or fanatics who might bomb or behead someone while I was there.
It was a safe and peaceful place with much interesting photos to share.

The highlight of this town Yala is their past notorious communist camps and activities during the reign of Chin Peng's era.

This is their town which is just 2-streets, running like a square box. Damn boring without shopping malls or exotic cafes.

I stumbled across a Rumah Tumpangan named Jacky Chan Hotel.

Believe it or not ~ this is the OLDEST and TALLEST mail box in the world!

In such a sleepy town, they have this 5-Star hotel where I stayed. It looked like 3-Star to me though their carpet & paint smelled new and their Chinese Restaurant served very delicious and fresh food.

They also have a very impressive Thai Buddhist Temple built by the Queen of Thailand with a real pure gold minaret above the pagoda tower.

There is a huge Buddha statue sitting majestically below the hilltop temple.

There are several smaller temples surrounding the monastery.

Next attraction was the well preserved communist camp and the above is the arch-entrance uphill.

After a long hike through the thick old jungles, I arrived at the 1st view-post of the communists.

This tunnel is where they had a hidden stove and the coal's smoke was cleverly filtered to prevent the police & army to detect their hideout for decades!

The above long tunnel is where their soldiers hid inside.

It was such a low, dark, damp and foul-smelling tunnel where I had to stoop my head all the way. I think the communists would never recruit a 6 footer like me who would pose as a threat instead.

Hello? Hello? Can you see me?

They even had bamboo a make-shift pavillion to host the marriages amongst the soldiers! They were not allowed to have babies, so the men had to 'tie' their genitals.

These were their cooking utensils with mud-clay steps for kitchen cabinet.

There is an interesting museum which stored all their confiscated stuffs after their fall & surrender BUT no photography was allowed. You know me, I just curi-curi snapped so that can share with you guys.

I was surprised that the communist flags changed their emblems several times.

They had walkie talkies, sharpenels and other weapons displayed here.

Their Land Mines looked like Diamond's Water Filter canisters.

They also used Land Bombs and don't they look like uncooked "Lemang".

Hope you enjoyed the above sights of Betong in Yala, South Thailand.

He Got Arrested Again

2010-09-13T00:39:00.004+08:00

My mum called my phone last week and yelled so loud like a mad woman. She screamed out ~ "Don't tell me that Ah Liang got arrested again? Is that really him?"

I replied cooly ~ "Yeah that idiot never learns and serves him right!"

Mum added ~ "Why on earth does he like to trade in this? Must be good money izzit?"

We all knew this Ah Liang since I was in primary. He was a well built hunk with dashing macho and tanned looks that could send the convent school gals swooning. His fiancee was my sister's best friend, so I saw him coming over to visit while tagging along his girlfriend then.

What was exciting about him was that he often brought along some exotic and scary pets. I was a small kid and was thrilled to see tarantulas, weird tortoises or tiny snakes in his shirt pockets. I would scream and squirm my balls when I saw his snakes! I never liked such pets yet it could excite me to see them when he brought them. Those years, I swear that no one else were keeping such pets in Penang like him. I thought he was sick or retarded to love such wild animals.

Many years passed and later, my sister went to Adelaide to study and my brother went off to Canada for his high school, leaving me alone at home, growing up rather lonely into my teens. I never saw Ah Liang and any other friends of theirs around our house anymore.

I found Ah Liang's teenage photo from internet.

I finished my SPM and went to work part time at a nearby construction site where I had to carry wheelbarrows of sand and cement. It was damn tough and I hated every minute working under the scorching sun. I lost count on the number of times my nose bled.
By then, I had lots of pocket money earned from the daily wages and my gang of friends wanted to visit Ha'adyai in South Thailand. They knew that I was sick of going there since I was born but going with my own friends could be added excitement.

So we booked a local tour bus that made weekly trips to Ha'adyai and Songkhla. My 2 male comrades were excited as it was their first trip out of Malaysia then. They were singing and laughing a lot in the bus which was packed with Penang's Hokkien folks and annoying aunties.
The tour guide was a young man who unashamedly asked the passengers if they wanted to see "Tiger Show" and there were so much wooos and aaahhs on the bus. I think almost the whole bus of adults AGREED to watch the sleazy show.

I remember that my heart was beating so fast and I was not sure whether I was scared, excited or nervous! Well, it was going to be my first time watching fully nude performers on stage. I was worried a while that a relative on the Ha'adyai streets might spot me entering the "Tiger Show's" premise near Lee Gardens hotel and report to my mum. I told myself to hide my face that night. Never mind, enjoy first and worry later.

Unknown to me, I suddenly spotted Ah Liang sitting in our same tour bus and he didn't seem to recognize me. Maybe, I had grown up into late teens and he had not seen me for some 10 years already. I kept glancing at him every few minutes and was nervous that he knew I was joining the bus folks to watch the famous "harimau show"..

Finally, I told my 2 buddies that I was very sure that Ah Liang could not recognize me anymore as I was a small kid when he last saw me. I was puzzled that he did not join us for any sight seeing or harimau shows. Maybe he took advantage of the bus for transport and hotel stay for his own business. Normally, almost everyone in Penang had visited Ha'dayai many times as it is so close by.

Damn it, a month later my mum asked me to sit down and gave me a stern LOOK at my face! I was shivering and wondered what I had done wrong. My sister was back for her summer holidays stood majestically beside and gave me another sly look.

Mum yelled ~ "I heard you went to Ha'adyai and watch that THAI GIRL SHOW???"
I nearly died on my chair and my heart fell onto the floor like jelly fish. I wish I had died and evaporated away in seconds! I was so damn malu beyond words!!

My idiot sister tambah kerosene to my stress and said ~ "Ah not only that, you guys drank so much beer and smoked cigarettes while watching the Thai Girl Show?? Wah!!! My brother grown up liao lo...."

My heart was cursing the worst curses at my sister and that stupid Ah Liang!!!!!
I hated that Ah Liang for his big mouth and thought that being guys, he would support me and just shut his fucking mouth!!! Mana tau, he actually related this joke with his girlfriend who alerted my sister later on. That's how women earned their crowns for having the bitchiest and chibai mouths for carrying tales!

I had forgotten about all these teenage stories until my sister informed me from London that Ah Liang was being jailed in South America for smuggling. I googled BBC news and was horrified to hear that he was jailed 71 months after losing appeals. He was the most wanted smuggler in the world for protected animals until the interpol had to track him for several years!

My heart should be laughing that justice had been served for his big mouth but I felt very sorry that he landed in jail. We all had no idea where he had gone to after breaking up with his long time sweetheart. So, we finally heard news that he was fighting hard to be transferred to the jail in Los Angeles as the S.American jail normally housed the worst narcotic and dangerous criminals in their deplorable jails.

He was released after 71 months and returned to Penang like a celebrity with so much interviews by the Star and media. Even a book was being written about his expedition by a world famous author. I have not seen the book yet as I am not sure whether it was really being released a few years ago.

This is his mugshot photo taken in the West. I don't know how on earth it was posted on the internet. Did he do it proudly?

Now, Ah Liang is back into hot news again! Everyone who knew him was shocked and dumbfounded by his repeated smuggling. Why was the media and relevant authorities attacking him with so much coverage when the protected animals which he sold was being kept as precious pets by collectors? Those who traded and smuggled protected animals for cooking pots were made unknown or got lesser publicity compared to Ah Liang. Whichever it was, he knew that he was playing with biggest fire and troubles.

When his luggage broke while on transit, look at the slippery friends wrapped in sarongs!

Waaaallaauuu eh! Over 90 snakes inside.

Yikes! I am scared of these reptiles and have the worst phobia for them! This snake slithered out of Ah Liang's luggage to greet the photographer.

Off he went to jail with a fine of RM190,000.00 and 6 months term in prison. My head is shaking in disbelief that he was someone who left a scar in my life and is now crouching in prison today.
I hope that he will never smuggle again! He has been nicknamed "Lizard King" globally!

Oh No! Suresh Again????

2010-09-10T17:38:00.008+08:00

Recently, I had been disturbed by the plight of an Indian man who sent me thinking for days about what charity is all about. I concluded that there is no guide book and rules to abide other than using our instinct besides our heart & mind.

It happened when I was visiting a factory and had finished meeting before rushing out to the glass doors. Suddenly, someone called out "Taukeh Tolong" and looked at me. I looked behind to see if there was a 'taukeh' but it was me that he called. He introduced himself as Suresh and his barely 2 year old skinny baby daughter stoody shyly beside him. They both looked frail and I knew that I could be milked some cash by him.

He rambled in heavy Tamil accent Malay that he needed RM2,500 to have an operation to remove his big tumour on his arm.

GOSH! He pulled up his sleeves and a bigger than pear tumour fell out to my view. I gasped and my mouth just opened wide. Of course, suspicion grew about his honesty and possibility of taking money without having operation. Now what?

I took out my mobile phone and snapped his tumour. Now it was my turn to "share responsibility" with my rich kawans and sent the scary tumour image to so many weak hearts like Michi, Desmond, Soo Chin, Bruce and others. Within an hour, I hit my target with their replies! I was overwhelmed and happy for Suresh.

A couple of days later, I called Suresh and arranged to pass him our donations to meet his targetted sum for operation. He was happy and I was happy, so life went on as usual.

.......

.......

One bloody morning on a weekend, my phone rang so early and it was Suresh. I was cursing in my heart for his awakening call and promptly answered. There he went again "Taukeh Tolong!" @#$% %$#@ @#$% and caused an ache to my ears.

Now he says he needed another RM200 as someone who promised to donate had backed out. So that's not my problem, I thought. Now he rambled that he needed RM200 to buy provisions to feed his family as he lost his job when his tumour grew. He was worried for his little daughter who was hungry without milk but survived on junk and solid food which he ate. So he wanted help again to feed his wife, his amah, daughter and blah blah blah.

The thought of my friend's wife's warning flashed on my head to be wary of conmen who collect donations. I thought my senses were good to judge but devils were singing around my head that Suresh could be the best Tamil actor from Chennai.

Okay! Fucked! I screamed at Suresh that I would buy the food that he needed and deliver to his house. I wanted to see his house and whatever family he had.

I went to Econsave to buy privisions and I felt like a grandma pushing a trolley around. I realised that I had not shopped for groceries for a long time. I was shocked that a tin of baby's milk powder costs RM58.00!!!!

I met Suresh at Sungai Buloh Hospital an hour later and drove behind him on his motorcycle which he loaned. He zip zapped along the roads, lanes, fields and passed so many cows before reaching another town in Rawang!! Oh shit, I was worried that he might waylaid me and his Indian Anamalai gang with guns & sticks could be waiting to bash & rob me. Arrgghh!

A few kilometres later, I arrived at a plantation and drove up the hills before reaching his house at last! All my nonsense thoughts evaporated and I was glad that there was no gang hiding behind the bushes. His old mother greeted me with clasped hands.

The house was dark inside and the old lady showed me around the rooms which had no beds except broken wardrobes, all salvaged from the dumpsites as Suresh worked for a waste disposal company before his tumour stopped his ability.

I walked into the kitchen and it was kinda empty with only a small pot brewing something. I opened it and saw a shallow miserable curry gravy boiling with tiny potatoes. How sad I felt!
I have been feasting exotic meals and served by waiters at every meal. I felt guilty of course, won't you?

Suresh showed me his tumour which had ballooned BIGGER and BIGGER! It looked cancerous to me and he had to be operated 2 days later.

I told Suresh to follow me to get the food stuffs from my car and his mother cried out, sobbing and sobbing at the sight of the food. She poured out all her life's story and endless misfortunes since the death of her husband, eventually making Suresh the sole bread winner.

I left and drove a long way home, scolding myslef for having suspicious thoughts of poor fellas! I thought it wasn't my fault as so many fake victims are rampant and everywhere. Who on earth never got cheated before? I consoled myself that I had done my part to help eventually.

...............

...............

One week later, my phone rang and it was SURESH AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! @#$% why did he call me again??? Damn!! What does he want now?

......

......

......

I just answered him and it was a surprise that he called to inform me that his operation was a success with all the cancerous lumps removed. I was relieved and that was sweet of him, I thought.

......

......

......

I was wrong and Suresh went on to say "Taukeh Tolong" again.

Now it is another new Bollywood series. While he was in the hospital, the landlord went to his house and yelled the daylight out of his mother to pay the backdated rental. Oh shit, I asked myself whether I or we are supposed to feed and adopt his family?

I had to call my gang to 'share responsibility' once again. We decided to pool and chip in to help Suresh to stand on his feet again and work after being discharged from HUKM.

Well, the morale of my experience is that charity knows no limits and barrier. The world is full of suffering humans and animals. We do not know when it might hit us, so better do my part while I still can. I bet you are laughing at myself for a tiny charity bit, blown so big. I am just sharing my silliness for having suspicions like that.

Blogging Vs Facebooking

2010-06-16T00:59:00.004+08:00

I have been so busy with life's ups and downs, in and outside my workplace & life. My life is just like the waves in the big ocean, rolling thunderously under rain or shine with new tidings each day. I guess I still prefer reading blogs than Facebook cos my FB list is damn boring compared to the bloggers here! I wonder what majority of you prefer? Blogging or Facebooking?

I just wonder if you know any male who would like to work as Assistant Manager of Foreign Students Affairs? This guy should be able to read and write Mandarin & English fairly well. No experience necessary and fresh graduates are most welcome! Salary, just whisper to me and start work right away.

In my coming blogs, I might share some tips on successful property investments which I observed from my closest buddies who are investment gurus or work with Robert Kwok. First, I need to figure out the way to put them into words. These guys are so wealthy today and I am no where like them.
...Envy! Envy!...

My Sweetest Friend

2010-03-27T01:35:00.009+08:00

It was a trip down memory lane when an old buddy returned from New York City. Gary had been away for some 20 years at the Big Apple working in a Chinese restaurant somewhere in Manhattan's suburbs called Flushing.

Obviously, I rounded up Peter and his newly married wife to meet up with Gary for a cuppa at Starbie's. Gary and I knew Peter way before he met with the swimming pool mishap that paralyzed him severely at his neuro-spine.

Peter has struggled a long way on wheelchair, eventually became our country's top blogger for his vocal & rights for the handicaps. He was so noisy that Datuk Sharizat took notice of him.

Go read his blog.

Peter, his wife and I.

Gary is another Kopi-O addict besides smoking heavily and gambling almost nightly at Trump's casinos in Atlantic City for years till his losses chalked up to over RM100K. A mighty bastard with no brains I would label him.

However, since my return from New York City in the 90s, Gary had sworn that he would kick the gambling habits which he successfully and proudly adhered.

This trip back home, he's catching up a flight soon to unite with his fiancee in Shanghai where he hopes to venture into some Shanghai Bunds!

Damn it, doctors have pronounced him unfit and grounded him.

They found that his uric acid level is very high with dangerous level & amount of bacteria, swarming all over his stomach which could lead to cancer.

I was damn shocked to hear that all his bacteria came from eating nightly plateful left-overs of raw sashimi and sushis at the NYC's Chinese Restaurant where he worked. That went on for over a decade!

No wonder, the bacterias have mushroomed and built nests in his brains too, resulting him to suffer from loss of memory in recognizing most old friends!

Look at him, he courts danger with the amount of sugar for his cup of coffee! He has ripped off 10 strips of Brown Sugar into his cup! Gary is a @#$% moron!

This is the last shot of his sugar - 13 strips!!!!!!!!

Yes, Gary is my "sweetest" friend!

I Love William Liew's

2010-03-25T14:16:00.003+08:00

I got sms from William Liew that he would be having big SALE up to 80%!

I woke up early in the morning and headed to the store just the moment the door was opened.

I wanted to make sure I got the freshest hot cakes from the oven.

This is William's new boutique at Sungai Wang with no competitors beside, unlike the previous lot.

The assorted range of discounts from 50-80% was worth browsing through the racks!

I tried 7 pants but selected only 1. My ass is too blardy big somewhere and the zipper won't go up!

Muahahaha!

You may ask why I wear William's clothes almost everyday? His shirts make me look thinner and younger with his famous signature buttons that never failed to help people to strike conversations with me! Even the mamak teh-tarek man had to curiously ask me why the middle button is so different in shape and colour! I love the attention! Heeeee!

I ended up buy 8 pieces this time. The sales will habis at month's end, so I will be there again this weekend to see whether got new stock on display. See you there!

Hey, if you think I got paid for this post, let me slap your face hard! LOL

R.I.P.

2010-03-23T01:50:00.005+08:00

When the shocking news broke out, I was numbed to the core and in great disbelief.

All of us prayed that it was not true.

It has been some years I had not received such a great shock on such a gruesome death.

My cousin informed me that KH was murdered!

The corpse was beyond recognition and DNA had to be tested.

It was the longest wait to hear the results while the poor body was still in the cold morgue at Temerloh for almost a week.

Meanwhile, Chinese newspapers reported wild stories and splashed all the photos!

This particular photo caught my eye, sending my mind down the memory lane. Often, I went to the Choong's family mansion along Western Road when I was a kid.

Now, the reality has finally crept in today and KH has departed forever.

The funeral will be on Wednesday.

The Memorial will be held at Ritz-Carlton KL.

Happy Chinese New Year!

2010-02-11T18:05:00.003+08:00

It has been a very hectic week for me. I was running all over the place to get things done. I am glad I finished everything till early this morning to buy big bunches of flowers for my altar! I have bought enough cookies to be distributed to a long list of loved ones including my neighbours!!

I have also decorated my whole house to the maximum with huge lanterns, mei-hua flowers, long banners, auspicious signs and everything to welcome the God Of Wealth!

At this time, we should not forget the less fortunate ones. My fellow friends have chipped in thousands of ringgits to help this poor orphanage which was in desperate need for daily provisions. We piled food and special needs onto trolleys at hypermarket the night before. It was a touching moment to see the happy faces of the orphans.

Many ang pows were being distributed to all the excited kids. My heart ached instead to see their joyous faces and screams of laughter. I am thankful for what I have today. I hope you will also be happy and contented with your job, friends and loved ones.

I am packing up my luggage now and heading off to the airport shortly for my Chinese New Year holidays!

I wish everyone a Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Year! May you all be blessed with abundance luck, robust good health and happiness everyday!

Winter Sonata

2010-01-25T02:14:00.005+08:00

After many months of agony wait, I finally flew off with Apple Holidays instead of Reliance Travel for my winter ski trip to Korea. The switch was a long story!

With a group of 20 pax, we landed safely after an overnight 7 hour miserable flight to Seoul in South Korea. It was not easy to catch a good sleep onboard the Korean Airlines as many Korean passengers were so busy shopping non-stop for the duty free goods from 1am to 6am!! Goodness, crazeeee people!

We landed at Incheon Airport which was covered with thick white snow after being hailed with their worst snow storm a week earlier. Thank god, the chaotic situation was over when we arrived.

It was between -2 degrees C to -15 degrees C throughout my tour and we were all frozen all the time.

Look at the bottles of Mineral Water served by the tour guide daily. It was all frozen!! @#$%! So I warmed the bottles daily in between my legs a bit and drank icy water all the time.

They have nice Korean huts and roofings everywhere. Here, our bus stopped for our first lunch on the way to the mountain top.

We had to hike our way across the snowy road leading to the cottage-like restaurant on the hill top as the bus could not drive up the icy roads.

I saw a real Korean Jindo dog which was resting inside its kennel which looked like an over turned Tong Sampah to me. It was so freezing cold but doggie could stand the temperature without any scarf or jacket.

See what I mean? I was all wrapped up in 4 layer outfit to keep me warm! The Jindo Dog only wore its fur. I was posing hungrily outside the restaurant for my 1st Korean meal.

I have always loved Korean food since tasting them for the first time in Pennsylvania some 2 decades ago. Now I couldn't wait to try the real thing in Korea! Yum! Yum!

The usual appetizers with several Kim Chi pickles and fried Korean 'tempura' dishes.

Blek! I was kinda disappointed as they tasted a bit flat and cold. Eeeee!

Everyone protested to the tour guide on its taste and he cheekily blamed that we have not been eating the real thing in KL.

My childhood friend who went along the trip too! He was contented with his meal so long as there is lots of vegetables. He is a real tortoise!

We slept our 1st night in the little cute mountain cottages at Hwacheon Aquatic Resort which is always the hot spot for courting couples! The many apartment units had wooden heated flooring which was most welcome for a good warm cozy sleep! We slept on the floor!

This resort was also where the tear jerking soap drama - Winter Sonata was partially filmed. I didn't cry as I never watched that TV series! Did you watch and cry?

The huge lake at this Hwacheon mountain resort was frozen in the background. It was -10 degrees and my balls were frozen of course!

Later we went fishing and skiing! Not kidding!

To be continued....

Zzzzzz Zzzzz Zzzzzzz

2009-12-17T12:33:00.001+08:00

Wish My Papa Is Rich

2009-12-08T19:33:00.006+08:00

How nice if my Papa is Rich today!

I would be driving this flashy car to have my breakfast weekly.

Perhaps I would even own 2 similar beauty in my garage!

Now cut the crap, I have been eating at Papa Rich @ 3rd Mile ~ Jalan Klang Lama almost weekly since its door was opened. I have brought no less than 20 friends consisting many bloggers, bimbos, sluts, Koreans, Japanese and etc.

Everyone knew that I am hell'a fire mouthed and grumbled so much at the manager for all the shortcomings, wrong orders, snail service and screwed up servings! I am not kidding and many bloggers were my witnesses armed with cameras! So scary to serve me, yeah!

Well, I had every intention to patronize this Papa Rich for a long time as it's conveniently located within my enclave. I like its ambience and good ventilation, never mind the shortcomings! I was always busy chatting and gossiping all the latest gory tales laaa.

I had given a tough time to its manager James but this fella was always smiling so hard and being polite to this fussy grandma! LOL.. Everyone loved his tolerance and it really pays off.

After some months, the service has become prompt and precise. Just like a statue having to brave 1000 knocks to make it perfectly shaped, hence Grandma's grumblings has died down too.

My favourite eggs remained its yolky best.

See! The tarts don't crack anymore! James never believed that we were served cracked tarts! No wonder Jerry has evaporated. Grandma very pantang one you know.

This steamed wholemeal bread is always suitable for me to swallow.

I dragged a professional photographer to have breakfast, hoping that he could snap all the flaws. Alas, it was a nice Sunday to see James grinning at Grandma. Heee heee!

Smoking peace pipe at last! One for the album ~ Grandma & James Lee, the boss wor!

If you cum here, don't quote Grandma's name, no discounts one lah! Just ask me to tag along and I might beg toothsome James to give us FREE egg tarts each! Hooray!

Mana tu James? He promised to comment & endorse egg tarts!

Heh heh!

If you ever think that I am getting paid for this post, CB to your cleber thoughtssss!

Let's Do It Together!

2009-12-06T00:15:00.011+08:00

A while ago, I received some spam mails which showed very gory photos that hit my spine instantly. My head was numbed and sent my chilly thoughts racing again over an old issue.

Some years ago, Michi signed up to make a pledge and proudly showed me her card!

OMG I was shocked in disbelief and squirmed like Yuen's shrimp.

She wants to donate all her organs to the hospital to benefit the needy or medical studies!

~ EEEeeekk !! ~

Grandma's heart sank, selfishly.

When I received this gory email, my heart fluttered again and I made some research. I read the Buddhist sutra books that says ~ If one pledges to donate his organs, upon death, the heavens would ascend to receive his soul before any doctor could knife his corpse!

I think many death row prisoners who pledged themselves, had secured places in the Land Of Eternity.

Who doesn't want to live above in the heavens? Maybe KEENYEE prefers his current abode. The old man or rather the soothsayer oldie must have failed to convince him!

In Tibet, when one dies, they have no burials or cremations except to pledge their bodies to the hungry Vultures!

Look at the birds! So big and fat, making nice X'mas turkey substitutes!

They would slice the dead bodies into multiple shreds for easier consumption or feast!

The birdies of feather come together and fiesta! They would chomp and munch to their hearts contents!

Now, who is getting the best part ~ The Head!

Flip the coin, head I win and tail you loose!

Muahahaha!

The undertaker would carry the skeleton like his overnight luggage!

Eeeeeeeeeeeee!

He would axe them into tiny pieces!

Eeeeeeeeeee!

The birdies enjoying the last bits and dessert pieces! So yummy yum yum!

After hearty meals, they would ascend on their flight to heavens, probably sending your soul along, upwards too.

It took me a long while to digest and I am considering to make a pledge as my New Year's 2010 Resolutions.

Who would like to join me to get the forms? Maybe I should give the forms to all my selfless blogger friends here.

My Retirement Plans

2009-11-28T01:01:00.008+08:00

Have you ever thought about your retirement plans when you reach 55 or 60 years old? I think I will open a junk shop and sell off all my old Grandma stuffs. It was an accidental hobby that I inherited so much plates, bowls, vases, fabrics, paintings, brick brats and unwanted stuffs since I was a tot. I even had to turn away my Grandpa's Ford Model-T vintage car coz I was only 11 years old then!

Naturally, I grew up to appreciate arts and antiques along the way, picking up some during my travels. I never bothered to evaluate them or thought what I could do with my stuffs until I became a member of the antique collectors' society in Europe.

Every morning, without fail, I would log into the local STAR online newspaper and thereafter to the antique auctioneer's website. Recently, I had the biggest shock with numbed jaws to see this pair of wooden ducks for sale!

OMG! It was so shocking that I have to pinjam their duckling photos to share with you guys!

Yes, a whopping US$ 2 MILLION DOLLARS!

Would you ever buy a pair of royal iteks for 2 million American dollars? I might keep this photo instead and donate the cash to charity instead. I am dead curious to find out the new owner soon!

So Grandma decided to sell off everything someday when the plates and bowls hit RM10,000 a piece! Maybe my fellow wealthy blogger friends KEENYEE the Arabian Prince or TZ the Ugandan Prince will hopefully become my regular clients.

Now take a peek into Grandma's cottage.

My dining table has 2 tier glass where I display some plates and bowls made during the Ming and Qing dynasties on the frosted lower tier.

During the end of Ming Dynasty, the unique crockery was invented where the plate was attached to a bowl below to lay out VERY SPECIAL food. So I placed Gratitude-Anton's Yam cake on my special china and chomped away happily using my finest Lucky 9-Dragon plate!

If Gratitude-Anton cooks his Bear's Paw Ginseng Soup for me, I will happily drink & slurp it from this very special Emperor's tall serving bowl like the above.

This huge Qing Dynasty bowl is Grandma's all time favourite ~ look at its embossed vibrant colours, all meticulously hand painted!

Another Qing yellow bowl which I strongly believe that brings very good feng shui as having many happy flying birds would mean frequent travels and vacation awaits!

The Ming Blue & White bowl below would make good container for my pop corns!

I am praying hard that much of my finest & rarest collections lying at my estranged brother's villa would someday be returned to me. I would be able to open a junk and flea shop by then!

Fellow bloggers, what could we do when we retire?

Yum Cha every night!!

50% @ 5:00PM

2009-11-25T18:17:00.003+08:00

I often meet my clients at their developer's office inside a hotel which is located in KL's worst traffic hub! Somehow, my 1 client is a chain smoker, so have to smoke outside his office which is at the coffee house below.

Naturally, I would be entertained to cakes and coffees, always making my belt tighter.

I swear that their Blueberry Cheese cake is better than Hilton's or Secret Recipe's ~ not too sweet and just nice!

If I have meetings after 5:00pm, all the cakes would be sold at

50% OFF!

They have little choices but they are freshly baked each morning. By 5:00pm, they will lelong at half price without putting any signboard or notice.

You just need to go there and open your big mouth to confirm that it's 50% off after 5:00pm daily.

You save a lot by buying them to celebrate any occasion with your loved ones!

Please do not ask me where, just look closer at the cakes and you will see the hotel's name there!

Happy Eating!

Making Merits Before 2012

2009-11-17T20:11:00.002+08:00

So many fellas have blogged about 2012! Some got worried and some like Foong Pak Choi looks forward to experience the last day of the world. I was tickled by many such retarded comments!

Everyday, since my intestine got ruptured and me being wheeled into SJMC's operating theatre for operasi cantum usus balik, my life had changed the minute I woke up. The intense pain had been a grim reminder for life and I blamed it on my bad karma. I was being accused for slitting open a live animal and tore out its intestine! OMFG how barbaric Grandma could be!!!

Remember this!

Everyday we human beings are trading with each other using our merits and karma. So my @#$% boss must have got more merits, that's why I have to slave at work and get clobbered verbally. Wait till my merits grow and I will abuse him back! Maybe in my past life, I had abused him terribly till he had to haunt me back this life! Oh dear, I better do my work well.

I had one Leng Chai friend whose parents own the Jalan Imbi's Weng Heong Daging Salai shop. I often brainwashed this 17 year old cos he was spending tons of money as if it flowed from the water tap.

I was surprised that he was listening attentively over the months and offered to follow me on my rounds.

He followed me to fetch the Hospice patient who has terminal cancer. This Kamala-chee needed oxygen in my car otherwise she would not arrive Pantai Medical Centre alive. So I taught this boy to operate the oxygen tank. Fucking Hell! I was shocked to find out the tank was empty! Why the hell did the nurse pass me an empty tank? What if Kamala-Chee pengsan in my car? I have to give her mouth-to-mouth? EEEEeeeeeeeeee!

We settled this matter quick! I am a veteran in handling such unexpected woes inside my car with the patients. So Kamala-Chee arrived PMC on time.

We had to wait for Kamala-Chee till 2 hours later.

So, I decide to bring this Leng Chai to visit the shop that sells all types of Buddhism and Sutra books. He was excited and browsed one by one before deciding his pick.

We spent over RM400 on the hundreds of books which we will place them in the temples around Klang Valley, hoping that some worshippers might get awakened and ferried to better realms after reading them. Hopefully this could help replace this fella's bad karma with good merits too.

It has been over 10 years since the day the Hell Officer spoke to me and I have no doubts that hell is a real thing. Just another dimension beside us!

Now I am asking this Leng Chai to find 1 run-down orphanage to adopt, so that we could hopefully help and provide their needs in long run. He's too busy cos his SPM is about to start soon! Well I passed the ball to KeenYee but he too is busy till he forgot laah. Anyone knows any orphanage that is in dire straits and need HELP, tell Grandma ok. I will round up Leumas, SK Thamby, Anton, TZ, Bong, KY, Michi, William, Happy Go Lucky and whoever is interested. Maybe Foong Pak Choy might want to donate some spammed Egg Tarts? LMAO!

2012 is coming soon!

Pigs Can Fly

2009-11-12T20:24:00.005+08:00

It was a beautiful Sunday morning and I was driving into Federal Highway!

Kaneeneh!

I had a blardy shock with my jaws dropped open.

Guess what?

The traffic was so fucking JAMMED on both sides. Grandma was scratching his sarong contents and cursing as the cars could not move at all. It was a strange thing to happen on a Sunday wor.

So Grandma just drove 0.05kph and the snail beside could move faster than me. I was still wondering whether there was a drastic accident or the flyover collapsed!

Then suddenly hor, I saw something in the sky! UFO?

Strain your blardy eyes! Look closer! What izzit har?

I saw several parachutes coming down!! Whooaaa! A plane must have crashed and all the penumpangs jumped out for their lives!

So I took out my cheapo mobile from in-between my sarong!

One by one, they came down and below almost kissing the roofs of the cars! No wonder lah, all so kay-po-chee watched and screamed!!!!

The gals screamed cos the guy must be a dig dicked Matt Salleh lor.

I was amazed that they all landed on the same spot of TM building! Did they jump off from the plane or tried to commit suicide from the roof top of TM? I wonder anyone knew what happened. You guys must be sleeping, I guess as Bong, Anton and TZ normally only wake up after 12:00 noon on Sundays! KY wakes up at 4:00am not to pray but to hike or run like a monkey! LOL

I bet the traffic in the whole country would be JAMMED if the nude guys jumped down like this. Dunno lah, must ask FuFu whether he jumped BOGEL like this before?

Secret Gardens

2009-11-07T17:03:00.012+08:00

The romantic idea and brilliant concept of 'secret gardens' had existed since ancient times during the last days of Pompeii or the period when Chinese emperors flirted endlessly with their concubines in wine-bathing pools. They all loved their private enclave called 'secret gardens'.

Grandma had to work on a blardy @#$% Saturday morning to conduct some routine checks. So I curi-shot some photos of this modern day secret gardens! The hi-end developers today are cleverly making extra BUCK$ by building beautifully paved and landscaped enclaves right behind those million dollar homes they are selling. You will have your own garden within your property but the whole back lane would be the 'secret gardens' shared by your wealthy and nosey CB neighbours!

The tiled entrance to the privately guarded secret gardens which is cleverly not wasted becoming a backlane for stray cats or pimps to trade flesh.

It is nice and long, suitable for Anton to hold mama's hand for long evening walks and hum his favourite lines..

"Walk on a trail of loving kindness. Walk on a path of compassion.... And all else around you will be beautiful"

They even have light exercising stations and what would William think of this tilted board? Perhaps it's nice to get laid horrr!

Along the way, there's kiddies section while the Tai-Tais and maids could sit inside the pavilion to bitch the juiciest gossips about the tyrant Masters of their houses!

There's kinky iron rings right behind your luxury home too. Maybe ItchyBiru might love this to hang upside down a'la Bondage style. LOL.

My inspection job was done, all ready for client to launch! I always salivated admiring the interiors of the posh homes in Klang Valley, often rolling on their King Sized Beds and browsing the ultra modern kitchen cabinets. I can only dream to play inside the show units!

Now I was stucked in the usual fucking highway jam on the way back. Look, 5 lanes and all had to move at snail speed.

I think you are wandering where the hell is this 'secret gardens'? Well, guess la and win a treat from Grandma. He will summon KeenYee to bake Egg Tarts for the winner!

Quick guess the name of this posh development!! Win 1 DOZEN GRANDMA'S EGG TARTS!

If you cannot guess, just tell me where this rolling hills is located, will win you HALF DOZEN CUMMY EGG TARTS!

ZZZzzzzz.... ZZZzzzz

Still cannot guess, need some clues?

Look below.

The condo far behind in between the palm leaves and house is overlooking at Highland Towers right below! Aha! Sudah tahu kan!!

Still tak tahu? Look below, another clue!

This is Siti Nurhaliza's mansion which is just a stone's throw away! I bet you have the answer right, spot on~!!!

If still dunno, your head must be some kinda EGG TART!

Muahaha-ha-ha-ha!

If you are my office colleague or ex-colleague, please don't ever post your answer or I will SLAP your mouth hard ok.

Ke-ke-ke-ke-ke!

Grandma Went To Europe

2009-10-23T09:53:00.007+08:00

I have been busy lately, so my blogs says it. After grueling and nerve wrecking project for my client in Chengdu, I went into another hellish dimension. My client in another country is gonna be a long term stress for me. They are a big kiasu and

kiasi corporation that demands nothing but flawless perfections.

I arrived at this hazy place after much confusion at the airport hunting for my chauffeur who waited at McDonalds as agreed. I found no McDonalds at the whole international airport! It has closed down due to poor business! Can you believe that? No free Coke glasses for TZ here!

Security is always tight around here where expatriates live. Kinda s

wanky and better class suburban area.

This is the entrance to the latest shopping mall. A bit like Mid Valley to me.

Even their Chinese restaurant looked so merah and

meriah!

This is where my client's office is located in this European designed building. Aha! You can now guess where I went to!

Bukan Europe, but the photos looked so Matt

Salleh la.

Of course I had to try the best Padang food at their Garuda chain. A

t night I suffered flatulence! Too much chilly and curries la! My head was smoking like Gunung Berapi!

After a long tiring day, I tucked into a nice huge suite! I checked in alone to the hotel but my room already had visitors walking all over inside! So eerie!

3 Missing Guests & 1 Pork Leg

2009-10-06T01:40:00.012+08:00

I was summoned by the Dowager Empress to have dinner at her Parkland Summer Palace last weekend. It was a long drive across the highland terrains and I arrived to see a half naked Canton Chef wokking in the kitchen, dishing up the concoctions for the annual Emperor's dishes!

Well it was still Mid Autumn and I arrived with trays of different Moon Cakes to appease the Dowager Empress.

The sumptuous dinner spread was laid on the banquet table, just like how Jay Chow munched in the show Curse of The Golden Flower!

The moment I sank into my chair, my teeth sank into the sea of Pork Leg Vinegar! Voila! It was 5 bowls of vinegar black soup which was heavenly delicious! The Pudding Tofu, Longevity Phoenix Cockerel dish, Dowager's Eternal Winter Melon Soup and fresh vegetables from the Garden of Eden filled my gold plated Ming dinner plate!

In less than 30 minutes, the dishes were almost out of sight!

The Pork Legs reduced to 40%.

The Longevity Phoenix dish had only few feathers left.

The Tofu habis lah!

The sayur pun habis la!

At midnight, we presented TZ-Hilton's birthday cake to Jelly Boy who had 5 cakes so far for this year's birthday bash. What a popular icon indeed! Jealous! Jealous I am!

My sincere heartfelt thanks from the bottom of my heart and underwear to the Chef Anton who was fully clothed that night. Muahahaha! Just kidding hokay!

We enjoyed ourselves so much! The 3 musketeers were missing!

Great food was enjoyed and all future diners may register now for the next banquet sitting with the Empress Dowager.

Where Got Ghost?

2009-09-23T20:24:00.004+08:00

Wahahahahahahahahaha!!

Ke Ke Ke Ke Ke Ke!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

Muahahahaha-hahahaha!

The patrons were all roaring with laughter inside the cinema over the Hokkien antics and slang. When the laughter died down, only Michi was still laughing loudly alone. Sure the patrons turned around to check whether it was a real Pontianak laughing!

It has been a long-long time since the last time I watched a movie. I always loved Jack Neo's movies esp the Liang Por-Por character.

I always hated to queue up the long beeline at cinemas smelling the filthy hair of the guys or bimbos in front of me. That is the price to pay when you tower behind them. If I am shorter, probably I would smell their B.O. neck, whatever!! Every part smells like those China migrants as claimed by Anton. Blek!

So I got myself a FREE credit card from GSC/EON Bank at last, after much frustrations. Hail Mary, the card came with so many benefits, benefits & more benefits!!!! Just look here.

It is FREE from annual fees.

It gives me FREE RM100 movie credit. Hear that?

Every ticket is 10% off.

Look at the "Priority Lane" only for cardholders! Grandma no need to smell oily kutu hair anymore and no more ankle aches making beeline till McDonald's ice cream stall.

Got so many vouchers some more leh!.. FREE pop corns and BUY1 FREE 1 tickets! I just wonder how they gonna make money like this? I must ask our Chartered Chettiar Anton about this, he knows everything hokay! He even knows that China migrants don't shower wor! LOL ke ke ke ke ke ke!..

Go get yourself a card today lah and snip off all the other cards (Eh hello, EON-BANK is not paying me hokay) I am sweet and sharing good stuffs always lah.

Yenngga Poreng Ngeh?? This Kamala Chee probably served TZ the pop corn that night. So you know why TZ went to blek-blek-blek in the jamban 8 TIMES that day? I dunno who didn't wash their hands - TZ or Kamala Chee? Poor TZ boy, ass so red & sore.

Ha ha ha!