My True Story Of Ah Long

Ah Longs are mural painters. Victims are like canvass. 

Such ugly sights are scary! It's a warning not to play-play!

Singapore's comedy movie. Must watch!

So many Gory & Horrible stories about 'Ah Long' loan sharks have 

been reported in the news. Really a big loan industry, more 

aggressive than banks in Singapore & Malaysia until the film 

producer Jack Neo made his most hilarious movie recently - 

Ah Long Pte. Ltd. I laughed so hard until my real tears 

and urine leaked out!! Now let me share my own TRUE 

encounter with Ah Long, no joke.

Poor Michael Chong. He shares everyone's headache!

My best friend's mum was an aggressive 'Tai Yee Long' who once 

operated outside the casino of Genting Highlands. I was keeping 

a close eye on her frail aged mother & 2 rotten kids, so she loved 

me naturally. Knowing that she had no hope from me as her future 

son-in-law, she adopted me like her own God-son! 

Wow, I had a shark's finned God-Ma laden with hard cash!

Her name is Aunty Shirley (her real name) and she led a luxury & hi-so

lifestyle often changing flashy cars more often than changed her 

filthy underwear! Her silly friends were Tai-Tais in KL who were 

victims of unfilial husbands who kept mistresses, so they drowned 

their sorrows in hard core gambling and booze in night clubs! 

Once I joined their all night dancing & boozing spree. 

Oh Shit, I threw up all my guts out like the worst street 

drunkard in someone's house at Jalan Gasing and had worst 

hangover for 3 miserable days. I swore NEVER AGAIN!

So many Loan Shark's Fin ads! Ever tried them?

Years later, Aunty Shirley was arrested by Bukit Aman & she 

moved to New York City after her charges were settled. 

She became a hi-class nanny at Manhattan for many years. 

During my student days in US, I visited her & we lunched at 

the Chinatown near the doomed World Trade Centre (9/11).

Like an old bitch, she was enjoying life changing nappies

on weekdays and changing chips in casinos on weekends! 

When I returned to Malaysia, she would call me every month 

and yakked all the most boring nappy stories about all the 

babies in her care for over 1-2 hours from New York City! 

She was a nanny, don't forget that! She returned to KL after a 

decade and we still kept in touch.

It was so coincident that my former colleague Ivy broke off 

with her hubby and needed cash to fly to Guangzhou, China 

to settle some business. I introduced her to take loan from 

Aunty Shirley but they never met, so I was like an idiot 

'guarantor' for their trust basis transaction of RM10,000. 

Ivy just received RM9,500 as the sum RM500 was the 

on-the-spot 5% interest! Niamah what a BIG RIP OFF!!!!

Ivy assured that it was alright and she could easily settle all 

on her return as she was a fashion designer with her own racks 

at Jusco, Metro Jaya & etc. The agreed loan repayment never 

took place and HELL broke loose for me.

Loans on-line. Loans on-trees!

An easy payment of RM500 monthly was dished out for poor Ivy but 

she could not even pay on time. Aunty Shirley, whom I would call a 

Shark Bitch now called my phone everyday at all hours and yelled 

at the top of her harshest voice at me for Ivy's late payment. 

She would call me continuously during meetings, when I was 

pissing in toilet or even attending funerals! My anger turned hatred 

and I would curse her all day like chanting mantras. Her true bitch 

colours have been unmasked and I've become a victim too, 

not by choice! After 2 hell years, I swore to raise the sum to pay off 

Ivy's debt as she was truly helpless, making ends meet. I called the 

Shark Bitch to negotiate payment and turned numbed to hear the 

figure that Ivy owed.... After 2 years of paying up RM11,000 

Ivy still owed a whooping RM8,000!!!!!!!! 

WTF...... That was craziest thing I heard for 10K loan!!

I was inside EON bank and screamed my lungs out at that 

God-Ma turned Shark Bitch for having the most cruel and 

senseless heart to take advantage of poor helpless victims. 

I forced her to reduce and accept RM5,000! That was the last 

I heard of her and I wish that she would 

Roast and Burn In HELL!

WARNING: 

DON'T SWIM IN DEBT WATERS! 

BEWARE OF SHARKS!