Tuesday, July 29, 2008

My True Story Of Ah Long

Ah Longs are mural painters. Victims are like canvass. 

Such ugly sights are scary! It's a warning not to play-play!

Singapore's comedy movie. Must watch!

So many Gory & Horrible stories about 'Ah Long' loan sharks have 
been reported in the news. Really a big loan industry, more 
aggressive than banks in Singapore & Malaysia until the film 
producer Jack Neo made his most hilarious movie recently - 
Ah Long Pte. Ltd. I laughed so hard until my real tears 
and urine leaked out!! Now let me share my own TRUE 
encounter with Ah Long, no joke.

Poor Michael Chong. He shares everyone's headache!

My best friend's mum was an aggressive 'Tai Yee Long' who once 
operated outside the casino of Genting Highlands. I was keeping 
a close eye on her frail aged mother & 2 rotten kids, so she loved 
me naturally. Knowing that she had no hope from me as her future 
son-in-law, she adopted me like her own God-son! 
Wow, I had a shark's finned God-Ma laden with hard cash!
Her name is Aunty Shirley (her real name) and she led a luxury & hi-so
lifestyle often changing flashy cars more often than changed her 
filthy underwear! Her silly friends were Tai-Tais in KL who were 
victims of unfilial husbands who kept mistresses, so they drowned 
their sorrows in hard core gambling and booze in night clubs! 
Once I joined their all night dancing & boozing spree. 
Oh Shit, I threw up all my guts out like the worst street 
drunkard in someone's house at Jalan Gasing and had worst 
hangover for 3 miserable days. I swore NEVER AGAIN!

So many Loan Shark's Fin ads! Ever tried them?

Years later, Aunty Shirley was arrested by Bukit Aman & she 
moved to New York City after her charges were settled. 
She became a hi-class nanny at Manhattan for many years. 
During my student days in US, I visited her & we lunched at 
the Chinatown near the doomed World Trade Centre (9/11).
Like an old bitch, she was enjoying life changing nappies
on weekdays and changing chips in casinos on weekends! 
When I returned to Malaysia, she would call me every month 
and yakked all the most boring nappy stories about all the 
babies in her care for over 1-2 hours from New York City! 
She was a nanny, don't forget that! She returned to KL after a 
decade and we still kept in touch.

It was so coincident that my former colleague Ivy broke off 
with her hubby and needed cash to fly to Guangzhou, China 
to settle some business. I introduced her to take loan from 
Aunty Shirley but they never met, so I was like an idiot 
'guarantor' for their trust basis transaction of RM10,000. 
Ivy just received RM9,500 as the sum RM500 was the 
on-the-spot 5% interest! Niamah what a BIG RIP OFF!!!!

Ivy assured that it was alright and she could easily settle all 
on her return as she was a fashion designer with her own racks 
at Jusco, Metro Jaya & etc. The agreed loan repayment never 
took place and HELL broke loose for me.

Loans on-line. Loans on-trees!

An easy payment of RM500 monthly was dished out for poor Ivy but 
she could not even pay on time. Aunty Shirley, whom I would call a 
Shark Bitch now called my phone everyday at all hours and yelled 
at the top of her harshest voice at me for Ivy's late payment. 
She would call me continuously during meetings, when I was 
pissing in toilet or even attending funerals! My anger turned hatred 
and I would curse her all day like chanting mantras. Her true bitch 
colours have been unmasked and I've become a victim too, 
not by choice! After 2 hell years, I swore to raise the sum to pay off 
Ivy's debt as she was truly helpless, making ends meet. I called the 
Shark Bitch to negotiate payment and turned numbed to hear the 
figure that Ivy owed.... After 2 years of paying up RM11,000 
Ivy still owed a whooping RM8,000!!!!!!!! 
WTF...... That was craziest thing I heard for 10K loan!!

I was inside EON bank and screamed my lungs out at that 
God-Ma turned Shark Bitch for having the most cruel and 
senseless heart to take advantage of poor helpless victims. 
I forced her to reduce and accept RM5,000! That was the last 
I heard of her and I wish that she would 
Roast and Burn In HELL!



  1. I didn't know that they work this way. No wonder people was suffering, and more and more people wanted to be loan shark, such a good income leh~!

    Anyway, bank is not better too. Bank = licensed loan shark.

    Good article~!

  2. Arrrrrgh! Yoga zone! OMG! OMG! OMG!

  3. Wow what a true life story on the agonies of going through hell. Is that one of the reason why yoga is prohibited by certain religion? haha. Will link thi sto my post on Ah Long. tQ

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