My mum called my phone last week and yelled so loud like a mad woman. She screamed out ~ "Don't tell me that Ah Liang got arrested again? Is that really him?"
I replied cooly ~ "Yeah that idiot never learns and serves him right!"
Mum added ~ "Why on earth does he like to trade in this? Must be good money izzit?"
We all knew this Ah Liang since I was in primary. He was a well built hunk with dashing macho and tanned looks that could send the convent school gals swooning. His fiancee was my sister's best friend, so I saw him coming over to visit while tagging along his girlfriend then.
What was exciting about him was that he often brought along some exotic and scary pets. I was a small kid and was thrilled to see tarantulas, weird tortoises or tiny snakes in his shirt pockets. I would scream and squirm my balls when I saw his snakes! I never liked such pets yet it could excite me to see them when he brought them. Those years, I swear that no one else were keeping such pets in Penang like him. I thought he was sick or retarded to love such wild animals.
Many years passed and later, my sister went to Adelaide to study and my brother went off to Canada for his high school, leaving me alone at home, growing up rather lonely into my teens. I never saw Ah Liang and any other friends of theirs around our house anymore.
I replied cooly ~ "Yeah that idiot never learns and serves him right!"
Mum added ~ "Why on earth does he like to trade in this? Must be good money izzit?"
We all knew this Ah Liang since I was in primary. He was a well built hunk with dashing macho and tanned looks that could send the convent school gals swooning. His fiancee was my sister's best friend, so I saw him coming over to visit while tagging along his girlfriend then.
What was exciting about him was that he often brought along some exotic and scary pets. I was a small kid and was thrilled to see tarantulas, weird tortoises or tiny snakes in his shirt pockets. I would scream and squirm my balls when I saw his snakes! I never liked such pets yet it could excite me to see them when he brought them. Those years, I swear that no one else were keeping such pets in Penang like him. I thought he was sick or retarded to love such wild animals.
Many years passed and later, my sister went to Adelaide to study and my brother went off to Canada for his high school, leaving me alone at home, growing up rather lonely into my teens. I never saw Ah Liang and any other friends of theirs around our house anymore.

I finished my SPM and went to work part time at a nearby construction site where I had to carry wheelbarrows of sand and cement. It was damn tough and I hated every minute working under the scorching sun. I lost count on the number of times my nose bled.
By then, I had lots of pocket money earned from the daily wages and my gang of friends wanted to visit Ha'adyai in South Thailand. They knew that I was sick of going there since I was born but going with my own friends could be added excitement.
So we booked a local tour bus that made weekly trips to Ha'adyai and Songkhla. My 2 male comrades were excited as it was their first trip out of Malaysia then. They were singing and laughing a lot in the bus which was packed with Penang's Hokkien folks and annoying aunties.
The tour guide was a young man who unashamedly asked the passengers if they wanted to see "Tiger Show" and there were so much wooos and aaahhs on the bus. I think almost the whole bus of adults AGREED to watch the sleazy show.
I remember that my heart was beating so fast and I was not sure whether I was scared, excited or nervous! Well, it was going to be my first time watching fully nude performers on stage. I was worried a while that a relative on the Ha'adyai streets might spot me entering the "Tiger Show's" premise near Lee Gardens hotel and report to my mum. I told myself to hide my face that night. Never mind, enjoy first and worry later.
Unknown to me, I suddenly spotted Ah Liang sitting in our same tour bus and he didn't seem to recognize me. Maybe, I had grown up into late teens and he had not seen me for some 10 years already. I kept glancing at him every few minutes and was nervous that he knew I was joining the bus folks to watch the famous "harimau show"..
Finally, I told my 2 buddies that I was very sure that Ah Liang could not recognize me anymore as I was a small kid when he last saw me. I was puzzled that he did not join us for any sight seeing or harimau shows. Maybe he took advantage of the bus for transport and hotel stay for his own business. Normally, almost everyone in Penang had visited Ha'dayai many times as it is so close by.
Damn it, a month later my mum asked me to sit down and gave me a stern LOOK at my face! I was shivering and wondered what I had done wrong. My sister was back for her summer holidays stood majestically beside and gave me another sly look.
Mum yelled ~ "I heard you went to Ha'adyai and watch that THAI GIRL SHOW???"
I nearly died on my chair and my heart fell onto the floor like jelly fish. I wish I had died and evaporated away in seconds! I was so damn malu beyond words!!
My idiot sister tambah kerosene to my stress and said ~ "Ah not only that, you guys drank so much beer and smoked cigarettes while watching the Thai Girl Show?? Wah!!! My brother grown up liao lo...."
My heart was cursing the worst curses at my sister and that stupid Ah Liang!!!!!
I hated that Ah Liang for his big mouth and thought that being guys, he would support me and just shut his fucking mouth!!! Mana tau, he actually related this joke with his girlfriend who alerted my sister later on. That's how women earned their crowns for having the bitchiest and chibai mouths for carrying tales!
I had forgotten about all these teenage stories until my sister informed me from London that Ah Liang was being jailed in South America for smuggling. I googled BBC news and was horrified to hear that he was jailed 71 months after losing appeals. He was the most wanted smuggler in the world for protected animals until the interpol had to track him for several years!
My heart should be laughing that justice had been served for his big mouth but I felt very sorry that he landed in jail. We all had no idea where he had gone to after breaking up with his long time sweetheart. So, we finally heard news that he was fighting hard to be transferred to the jail in Los Angeles as the S.American jail normally housed the worst narcotic and dangerous criminals in their deplorable jails.

He was released after 71 months and returned to Penang like a celebrity with so much interviews by the Star and media. Even a book was being written about his expedition by a world famous author. I have not seen the book yet as I am not sure whether it was really being released a few years ago.

This is his mugshot photo taken in the West. I don't know how on earth it was posted on the internet. Did he do it proudly?
Now, Ah Liang is back into hot news again! Everyone who knew him was shocked and dumbfounded by his repeated smuggling. Why was the media and relevant authorities attacking him with so much coverage when the protected animals which he sold was being kept as precious pets by collectors? Those who traded and smuggled protected animals for cooking pots were made unknown or got lesser publicity compared to Ah Liang. Whichever it was, he knew that he was playing with biggest fire and troubles.
Hate snakes! It is such a silly way to do it, won't the snakes show up in the bag scan?
ReplyDeleteYou have the most amazing stories....
Wow. You know him in person. Now I can say I know of a friend who knows the Lizard King! Anyway, love his hair. It's so cool. Hahahaha.
ReplyDeletewow lizard king got arrested
ReplyDeletewow your friend is a celebrity... so now cannot cook snake soup already :p
ReplyDeleteI think he is 'smiling' in the last picture when he was being caught??
ReplyDeleteerm, interesting.........
ReplyDeletehaha, he's cool~!
seems like u knw a lot of people in the media. :P
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have a lot of friends and acquaintances in the news, some for the wrong reason hor...
ReplyDeletethose snakes look very disgusting all cramped inside the luggage lor.. Thamby scared~~ :p
ReplyDeleteSgBoy - That's the whole problem about out security at airport. Besides 90 snakes, there were tortoises and vipers as well. Your blog stories are more amazing and jaw openers!
ReplyDeleteLegolas - Actually I think Penang has more criminals and bimbos than anywhere in M'sia who 'were' my friends. Malu to blog about all.
fufu - Dunno whether this Lizard news reached German media or not?
TZ - Didn't know you drank snake soup!! It makes you horny and hair drop!
Jessyca - He probably smiled coz 6 months is considered shorter than his 71 months in US.
ReplyDeleteKeo - Cool? Shame I would say.
Medie007 - I know the many people for wrong reasons!
William - So well said la... :)
SK - Thamby scared? You played them with flutes back home!! LOL ha ha ha!
ReplyDeletesnakes of any kind gives me the creeps.
ReplyDelete