Goodbye My Dearest Father

My dearest father has left us forever. It was Monday 1st August when I went to visit my father in the hospital. It was about 5.30pm when I arrived his ward and noticed that his hands were very swollen. My heart sank as I knew that his time was nearing the end. I had seen many terminally ill cancer patients from my volunteer days where their bodies and organs had all gradually shut down till the last stage where the water retention would appear. I snapped his photos and sent to my siblings who made a dash to the hospital.




I held my father's hand and it was very cold like ice. I stroke his warm forehead and combed his hair with my fingers softly. I held his hands very tightly and started chanting all the Buddhist mantras, knowing that it would help him go in peace. I promptly walked out of the room and visited my friend in the next ward. My old friend had suffered from a major heart attack and was critical. I chatted with him a bit and cheered him up, not to fear of his sickly condition. My phoned beeped and I saw the message from my sister - "Dad is gone...."




The night was very long as we had to do so much preparations for the funeral. I had booked for the special funeral package last year and it was a real breeze as their professional team handled all the necessary and meticulous details. The most important duty when someone dies is the timing of its soul emerging out of their bodies. It would need between 6 to 9 hours for the soul to rise up and they often felt suffering and lost to experience their own soul tearing out of their bodies. This is the most crucial time when we need to be at their side and chant prayers to seek divine's blessing to help their journey out. My brave and fearless wife walked into the morgue of the funeral parlour alone and stood beside my father's body. She chanted the whole sutra book of Bodhisattva Di ZangWang to ferry my father's soul for over 1 hour. She stood in the middle of several bodies and coffins alone! I believe the other souls also benefited along.




  The funeral wake was held for 3 days and 2 nights.





*****


Comments

  1. my condolence to you and family. May he rest in peace.

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    1. Thank you very much for your very kind words. He is resting in peace with my mum beside.

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  2. My condolences to you and your family. Be strong my friend, will pray.

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    1. Hi Jonathan... Thank you very much for your very kind words. I will be strong.

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  3. My condolences to you and your family, TM. You were quiet in the blogsphere recently and I was worried that something might have happened.

    Death comes to everyone, I believe your dad has lived a long and meaningful life. May uncle rest in peace.

    Be strong.

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    1. Hi Libby. You guessed right that I was missing as I was mentally exhausted for many weeks. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  4. My condolences to you and family. Your wife and yourself have been very filial. Now, time for you guys to heal and rest.

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    1. Thank you very much for your very kind words. Yes I am eating right food to heal myself! LOL
      Everyone would do the same to care for their parents.

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  5. I am really sorry to hear about your father’s lose my friend… wish you and your dear ones to gather strength to accept the demise of your father. Touched by the photo of the hand of u r father

    hugs

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    1. Life is just a journey for all of us. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  6. TM, I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. Please take care.

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    1. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  7. My condolences to you and your family...

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    1. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  8. Sorry to hear about the demise of your beloved dad. Our deepest condolences to you and your family.

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    1. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  9. My condolences to you and your family. May he RIP. Take care of yourself and your family now. May God be with you all during this grieving period.

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    1. We will be strong during this difficult times. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  10. My condolences to you and your family.

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    1. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  11. Sorry to about your loss... my deepest condolences to you and your family.

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    1. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  12. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

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    1. Thank you very much for your very kind words. So long didn't hear from you. Hope you are keeping well and happy always.

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  13. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

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    1. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  14. Takziah... May your father move on to a better place.

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    1. Terima Kasih very much for your very kind words.

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  15. Sorry about your loss~~ My deepest condolences to you and your family. Take care & stay strong TM

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    1. We will have to be strong and move on. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  16. Sorry to hear about your loss....but know that your father has lived life to the fullest and is in a better place now. My deepest condolences to you and your family (I've been a silent reader till now).

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    1. Thank you very much for your very kind words. You made my day for being my silent reader. Please don't be silent anymore yeah. I will visit your blog soon!

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  17. My condolences to you and family..

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    1. Hi Norick Tan! Nice to hear from you. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  18. Letchumi is a very good DIL. Not many will dare to go alone there and chant for the soul.

    It's been a year. Your Mom and Dad can be together now
    My condolence to you and your family again

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    1. I am blessed for having a brave wife who knows much about prayers too. I believe both my parents are united again now. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  19. Anay, when I read the first paragraph, I felt sad too. Because what you stated in there reminded me of my late parents, both of them were also showing the water retention on their bodies at the very last moment of their life. I thought of them when I read this post of yours.

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    1. I also did the same thing by stroking my dad's hair and said sorry to him when he was warded in ICU. I felt so regret for neglecting his health that time, as my first born was only 3 months old that time.

      Anay, you have done so much better than me as the child of your parents. You have taken good care of your two parents. No regret in your heart now when they both went the better place.

      I must also praise Letchumy for all that she has done for your parents and you.

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    2. I also did the same thing by stroking my dad's hair and said sorry to him when he was warded in ICU. I felt so regret for neglecting his health that time, as my first born was only 3 months old that time.

      Anay, you have done so much better than me as the child of your parents. You have taken good care of your two parents. No regret in your heart now when they both went the better place.

      I must also praise Letchumy for all that she has done for your parents and you.

      Delete
    3. It was a very sad dad for me that evening when I could feel that my father was fading off and passed on minutes later. His eyes were closed for several days until his last breaths. It was like a common story that one had to wait for all his children to show up first. You have been a good daughter too and now a great mother to your 2 princesses! They are so blessed to get the best attention from JY!

      Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  20. I'm so sorry for your loss, Tan! I'm sure he's in a better place now. Take care & stay strong, my friend!

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    1. Thank you very much for your very kind words. I think my father is dancing ballroom with my mother now on the clouds now.

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  21. My condolences to you and your family. Take care! :)

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    1. Hi Aiden. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  22. So sorry for your loss. Take care!

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    1. Hi Clayman. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  23. Condolences to you and your family. I salute your wife for chanting the whole sutra book of Bodhisattva Di ZangWang for over 1 hour.

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    1. I wish I could read Chinese words too. I believe it is not easy to stand and chant the whole sutra book. Thank you very much for your very kind words.

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  24. My condolences to you and your family.

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