Unforgettable Day

😓 Yesterday was the weakest day of my whole entire life. I had to crawl my way to stay at my sister's place.

At her Mont Kiara condo the concierge had to put me on the wheelchair from my car and push me upstairs. I could barely walk an inch anymore. 

 The new irinotecan chemo treatment had taken its toll on me with frequent painful stomach cramps, nausea and urge of vomiting. That made me stay me stay away from proper food for days except lying on my bed until I knew I was in serious danger of malnutrition. 

Today I am feeling better under my sister's care and writing this update. 

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Happy Labour's Day

I need a real break from life's suffering today. 😂😂

Happy Labour's Day everyone. 

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

When Will I See You Again

The journey has been very tough and long as I continue to struggle with recovery. However I have surrendered to fate with no regrets. I was born into a privileged family in Thailand and have lived a very good life that I treasure till today. The mental pain is just temporary when one measures the 21 years of happiness being together. 

My mental health issues have been a big challenge for me daily. 

Cancer + Divorce = Depression. 

There is no remedy or medications for this except my own strengths and willpower to fight on. 

Life is just a journey for all of us. It comes with happiness, sadness, pain and sickness therefore acceptance is a choice. I believe I will see light at the end of the tunnel again. 

I am just like a flower. Someday I will wither and fade away, for nothing is permanent in life. 

Thank you very much for always being around to cheer me up till today. 

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Selamat Hari Raya at Hospital

Today is the first day of Hari Raya and I have been admitted to hospital since Monday. It was just my usual next appointment for the new irinotecan chemo treatment on Monday when my oncologist felt that I have lost too much weight and was too frail for the next injection. This stronger irinotecan chemo seems to have worked well and brought my tumour markers down by hundreds. I have finally lost almost all the hair on my head too. So I just checked into the ward fully unexpected and have been given liquid food IV 24/7 as my weight has dropped to a dangerous 58kgs! So far I have been attended to by the oncologist, gastroenterologist and a dietician.

I hope to be discharged by tomorrow or latest Friday. 

Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir Batin. 

*****

Blog Under Construction

Life has been toughest as I am still struggling with recovery for over 2 years now since my colorectal surgery and grapple with my mental health issues. I am coping with the new chemotherapy of the stronger irinotecan treatment which causes me daily diarrhea and hair loss. Even Hercules could give up in such toughest battles but I am still smiling and meeting customers looking like a scare crow suffering from anorexia. That's me!