Thursday, August 24, 2023

The Day My World Ended

At sunrise of 3rd August, my wife came to fetch me in her brand new car. She sped all the way through the morning traffic to Shah Alam.



It was less than 2 minutes court proceeding and it was over. My ex wife drove me home.

The world ended for me when you said Good Bye. 

It's surreal. 


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Monday, July 24, 2023

My Blog's 15 Years Anniversary

This month marks the 15th year since I started writing this personal blog. I have been a transparent person who shared my real photos and honest opinions in some ways. Being a spiritual person, my objective was to create awareness that the spiritual dimensions are all real. There is life after death and our time on earth is just a journey. We could sometimes shape and plan our journey, but sometimes it doesn't happen. We only have ourselves to be blamed for reasons unknown to our human's understanding. Be patient and surrender ourselves to the destiny, is my belief. I have been there at the brink of deaths few times.



The above photo was taken in January 2022 during my birthday celebrations. I thought it's appropriate to use it to post for my blog anniversary. Today I look much thinner and frail compared to this shot. One reader Noor Rani pointed out that my hair looks like a wig!! ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚

When I have passed this stormy health issues, I should be back to gym and exercise to stay fit. Please include simple yoga exercises in your daily routine at the comfort of your home. It would bring miracles to heal and prevent various types of sickness especially the well being of our gut health. Before this cancer, I never paid attention to the importance of my gut health. This is the terrible price I am paying now.

Thank you very much for reading and following my blog for 15 years. I have decided to tidy up my blog instead of closing it permanently when I was lying on my hospital bed in early 2022. That's when my leg's blood clot was swelling to maximum until the cardiologist cautioned me that I could die any minute. That moment, my brain and thoughts were reeling back and forth about my whole life. That is when I thought I would close my blog permanently. Somehow I have changed my mind when my cancer had relapse 3 times and decided to tidy up my blog by replacing many old posts with very useful health tips through "cut & paste" articles of many good authors. 

I wish to elaborate further about how blogging had taught me about the true colours of many other bloggers. No 2 persons in this world is alike......

(To be continued here......)

Okay, bye



******

Saturday, July 22, 2023

Catch 22 @ the Crossroads of My Life

I learnt this word "Catch 22" over 10 years ago from an American expat living in Thailand. We were all inside the forum chat group of a well known online Thai newspaper in English language. It took me a long time to digest and fully understand the meaning of this word, with the help of another expat who was a professor in United Kingdom. 



The above chart illustrates the meaning of Catch 22 which is a very tough and complicated decision to be made.



I have been very sick and battling the cancerous disease since my surgery 19 months ago. The journey has not been easy for me and it has drained my energy on most days. 

I have been at the crossroads of my life for the first time after staying in different hospitals for 5 times. My lifestyle & mindset has changed completely and I have learnt to let go of everything.

I never expected that I would be caught in this Catch 22 situation now. I have been very sad and depressed for sometime. I could not do anything and just cried for many nights. Finally, I understood the meaning of Catch 22 when you are forced to make a decision. 

Someday when I see the lights at the end of the tunnel again, I might share my real pain. 

Happy Weekend to you! ๐Ÿ˜Š




****

Wednesday, June 21, 2023

Released & Discharged


Hooray!! I have been discharged from hospital this evening after 5 nights and 6 days stay. It was really no fun as my list of complaints are very long.

1. The air cond was freezing with no temperature control. So it was like sleeping in a mortuary! It's either on/off switch only.

2. The food was horrible as they fed me plain white porridge 3 times daily plus some juices, yoghurt or cheap ice cream. That's because I had to be on strict soft food diet to monitor what has caused my frequent bleeding over the months.

3. I sat on the bed for 6 days without leaving my cold room. I had terrible bed sores on my buttock. I asked for it as the nurses warned me not to even walk to toilet as I might faint again. First 2 days they had to wait for me at the toilet door while I sat on the throne like a King! I enjoyed browsing my phone while the nurses hurried me to finish my royal business fast. Well, it was my coronation day!

4. Everyday they had to poke painful needles into both arms. Most of the time, they had to pull out and reinsert the needles as it could not reach the right veins. My arms were pale, weak and swollen. Of course I screamed like a sissy cos it was painful. 

5. The needles injected, were to connect the drips or fresh blood supplies or daily dosage of 4-5 different medications. In total I was given 4 packets of blood during my stay. That made the total to 10 packets of blood in 3 weeks! Do I sound like a thirsty vampire??


The horrible plain white porridge with boiled vegetables for 3 meals daily. 



The last meal was fish and chips for lunch. It was a big bonus though not delicious at all. My tears were crying with joy singing like Evita Peron. "Don't cry for my hospital meals!!" ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


The hospital stay was to address and stop the bleedings. Next Tuesday I will be back to hospital for the usual monthly follow up with antibody infusion and hopefully just another round of oral chemotherapy. I had suffered enough of the unforgettable painful chemotherapy needles which burned my veins for 5 hours. I realized that I forgot to post and elaborate the side effects of the chemotherapy. Would you like to see and hear about them? 

Okay, bye.


*****

Sunday, June 18, 2023

My Rollercoaster Ride To Recovery

I have been going through so much since my last blog post. So many things happened to my health with no full recovery in sight but it comes & goes like the waves in the ocean.

Fast forward, I just had my 3rd pet scan on Monday and results looked much better. Meaning, no new cancer cells sprouted out since the 3rd relapse. The scan showed some disease still progressing which is not alarming to my oncologist.

Just when I thought I could relax a bit, shit really hits the fan. It was the most terrifying trauma ever happened to me in my whole life. News spreaded like wildfire from KL to Bangkok, Singapore, Hong Kong and other planets. I was busy texting one by one until it gave me an idea to copy paste them here for my updates.

"On Thursday, I went to Geezzaa Mall with a friend. I went to toilet and was bleeding at the toilet. I went to toilet 2nd time and fainted in the male cubicle. I was lying on the floor and others saw my bag sticking out under the door. The security guards opened the door and woke me up. Luckily my friend was outside and called my wife who arranged an ambulance to send me to hospital !!! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿป‍♂️"....


Oh boy, it was my first time riding a heated and comfortable ambulance that raced across the busy after office hours!! I forgot about shame or malu while being wheeled out of the busy shopping mall. My head was spinning like stars.



Today will be my 4th night in the hospital alone. Hopefully I can be discharged tomorrow.

Okay, bye!

*****

Thursday, January 12, 2023

Spring Cleaning For The Chinese Lunar New Year

Chinese New Year comes once a year and when it comes, my head gets reeled up without fail. Getting new Red Ang Pow notes and new clothes to wear would be lingering in my head. 



This year, I will not be going anywhere, owing to the condition of my poor health. I have been eating restricted diet yet you could see that my body has shrunk thinner due to the side effects. It may take many months or many years to gain back the robust health I once had. This is the very sad truths of receiving the strongest chemotherapy injections after the surgery and cancer relapse within 3 months. It was the most terrible nightmare which I wish to erase the year 2022 from my life. I am still struggling to bring up my platelets count which is dangerously low for too long now. Every 3 weeks, I had to follow up in hospital for Antibody infusion which costs around RM13,000 per visit.



I have been keeping myself sane and positive by getting busy with my bereavement business and to fulfil my 2023 resolution to declutter and sell off every piece of antique in my hand. I am also back into antiques hunting for my wealthy collector friend who resides in Cayman Island. Besides this, I am also helping my childhood friend to sell off all his heirloom antiques from Malaysia's most prominent Peranakan family which had to be auctioned at Christie's or Sotheby's in Hong Kong. My friend is reluctant to visit Auction House again as the last one nearly gave him heart attack. He pointed out that the scenario was way too tension when Chinese tycoons were bidding for his heirloom antiques before the hammer came down. I could imagine the tension and would enjoy sitting there someday. 

It's just 10 days more to Chinese Lunar New Year Celebrations! I hope you have spring cleaned your home and got all your sweet cookies ready. I am so glad that I am still alive to greet this coming Year of the Rabbit.


*****











Sunday, December 25, 2022

Merry Christmas 2022


A year has come and gone in a blink of eye. It has been a tough year for me like a carousel as I struggled with my colorectal cancer. The journey has changed my whole life and thinking forever besides affecting my physical self. The 5 painful Chemotherapy injections, daily 8 Chemotherapy tablets and 5 weeks of daily radiotherapy was really insane. My wife and a good friend Aaron had been supportive like my 2 pillars as they seemed to have the right words to encourage me. 




Yesterday I was very thrilled and surprised to know that Santa Claus is real. He delivered a bag on the eve of Christmas.



Wow!! I saw that gift label from St. Regis Hotel in Kuala Lumpur. This 5 star place is only for orang atas to dine and stay. 



My childhood friend gifted me this Raspberry Red Velvet Cake which costs a bomb. The Christmas Tree brought me so much joy to rekindle our childhood days. This friend's family are shareholders of the MUI Group and HKG's Sun Hung Kai & Kerry Group too.

During my stay at 4 hospitals in 5 months, I reflected back my whole life when the cardiologist cautioned me that my severe blood clots could be fatal. If it does not heal, I might suffer from heart attack any minute on my hospital bed. My thoughts ran through 1001 memories where I concluded that I should have no regrets for I have lived and done my life's missions. My wife pointed out that I was being brought up with so much privileges that I should be very thankful. 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2023. Remember to stay Happy & Healthy always!


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The Day My World Ended

At sunrise of 3rd August, my wife came to fetch me in her brand new car. She sped all the way through the morning traffic to Shah Alam. It w...