Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Where Got Ghost?

Ke Ke Ke Ke Ke Ke!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!

The patrons were all roaring with laughter inside the cinema over the Hokkien antics and slang. When the laughter died down, only Michi was still laughing loudly alone. Sure the patrons turned around to check whether it was a real Pontianak laughing!

It has been a long-long time since the last time I watched a movie. I always loved Jack Neo's movies esp the Liang Por-Por character. 

I always hated to queue up the long beeline at cinemas smelling the filthy hair of the guys or bimbos in front of me. That is the price to pay when you tower behind them. If I am shorter, probably I would smell their B.O. neck, whatever!! Every part smells like those China migrants as claimed by Anton. Blek!

So I got myself a FREE credit card from GSC/EON Bank at last, after much frustrations. Hail Mary, the card came with so many benefits, benefits & more benefits!!!! Just look here.

It is FREE from annual fees.
It gives me FREE RM100 movie credit. Hear that?
Every ticket is 10% off.

Look at the "Priority Lane" only for cardholders! Grandma no need to smell oily kutu hair anymore and no more ankle aches making beeline till McDonald's ice cream stall.

Got so many vouchers some more leh!.. FREE pop corns and BUY1 FREE 1 tickets! I just wonder how they gonna make money like this? I must ask our Chartered Chettiar Anton about this, he knows everything hokay! He even knows that China migrants don't shower wor! LOL ke ke ke ke ke ke!..

Go get yourself a card today lah and snip off all the other cards (Eh hello, EON-BANK is not paying me hokay) I am sweet and sharing good stuffs always lah.

Yenngga Poreng Ngeh?? This Kamala Chee probably served TZ the pop corn that night. So you know why TZ went to blek-blek-blek in the jamban 8 TIMES that day? I dunno who didn't wash their hands - TZ or Kamala Chee? Poor TZ boy, ass so red & sore. 
Ha ha ha!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Grandma's Hall Of Fame (Part 2)

This is gonna be my final part of my opinion on bloggers. I'm only posting the earlier ones I encountered and the other newbies will come in my Part 3, many moons later. 

Take no offense, grandma only speaks the truth! If you can't take it, to the hell with you! 
LOL.. ke ke ke ke...

This fella has so much similarity with me like my own mirror. His vulgarity, gym membership and even dwelling vicinity was so identical. Only our gender is different lah. He is a male and I am a Grandma! Ha ha ha...

I have some relatives who are still in the Bangkok show biz and modeling scene, so this guy keeps me posted. However, I find him rather weird, he never comments in Malaysian blogs! Worse, he doesn't reply comments! I know he will read this and might put my photo inside the next time his Mai-Yu pounds the "Som Tam" salad! Muahahaha!

This Indon guy was my silent reader and he amused me with his thoughts as I don't have Indon friends so far. I thought he was a kiasu tourist, not knowing that he studied in the kiasu republic and graduated recently. Rad Sujanto must be anak orang kaya!

He was the first blogger I ever met and we hit off so well till now. Little did I know that others did not hit the right chord with him. Hey, come on man, life is short and God is great! Why is God great? If we agree, then we should come out of our shells to reach others mah. God never created shells for us to hide inside. Eh Hello?

I always enjoyed teasing this bitchy blogger who never failed to tickle my ribs always! However, he should not be Queen B but instead "Queen E".... (Queen Emo!!!!) I am still waiting for her to reappear from long retreat inside her F.uckingham Palace. Mana tu Queen? Anyone knows?

Adoi! This kiasu spammer has gotten his contagious virus patented and we labelled it "H2N2" but recently his virus has advanced into "H10N10". What a bad karma! LOL... I am very curious to see this spammer's face as I know he/she buys egg tarts from Tong Kee! Does he/she look like tarts? Muahahaha!...

My Longkang blogger whom I never met coz he 'aeroplaned' me once and blamed everything else instead of himself. LOL... So I had to push the blame to TZ for eloping with him to hear a Santa sing! An interestingly unique father & son blogger teamwork he has. Sometimes I got confused as they both wrote too similar, so I suspected his son wrote all his posts too! LOL.. the son is not so shy like his father coz he posted his own photos but the father chickened instead. Either the Papa looks like a KFC mascot or Shah Rukh Khan! LOL... just kidding Ah Beng.

I found his link from TZ and he made me fat after reading his blog!! I went to try almost everything he had eaten and his food ratings were believable. Now a busy papa he is, yet he still blogs! 

Aha! Finally this much awaited blogger who was once an Indian blogger turned Chinese. Everyone thought he was an Indian coz he had an online shrine besides foreign scripts garlanding his post. His blog attracted me as I could pray online from my Mac Book many miles away. He made me think whether he could also post some e-Joss sticks and e-Food offerings to perfect his shrine. I could just click & drag my choice of offerings to offer! Today he has proven that he is a pure Chinese cum walking dictionary!! I will engage a hypnotist soon to discard his fear, so that my comments no longer need "Blogger's Approval". HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

We were really fated to know each other! He just googled "Lee Kuan Yew" and found an old shaky Grandma instead!! Muahahaha! He has more scary real life's complicated ghost stories too but never posted them up. Maybe Fei Mao can be his biographer since Angel is Fei Mao's e-god daughter. We are all waiting anxiously to meet Ken someday and play with his Mohawk hair besides admiring his collection of Giorgio Armani underwears! When are you cumming over?

This Leng Chai blogger has a huge following of readers spanning from the East to West of the world! So much crap talks has been hurled at him for being a horrendous fake and cheat but who cares? I have said that blogs are illusions and I just read them with open mind for free entertainment. If he is real, he need not prove to anyone that he is real. If he is a fake, then I salute him for being the most Innovative Blogger I have come across. You watched David Copperfield but you didn't call him a cheat! David was playing with illusions like Willy's Diary! Take it easy guys, you do read Harry Potter don't you? I have even received 1 stupid email asking why I am a grandma when I looked like a man? Did I go for a sex change operation? Muahahaha!

This blogger is amusing with lines that often sent me laughing so hard, when it was not even funny to others. Well, he often took me down the memory lane to during my college & dormitory days in Pennsylvania. We have so much similarities somewhere... Keep posting Evann!

He is like a journalist who posts light hearted food & travels which never offends anyone unlike Grandma! I used to rely on his blog for some movie previews as his taste was often reliable. I wonder why he used the name Tofu? Actually I love to eat Tofu! Now I get to read Tofu as well.

Oh dear, this dramatic blogger deserves a Gold Medal for giving us so much dinner table jokes to crack each time we met. Truly a young but not so innocent kid, his blogging style is very honest and brave indeed! How many of us would dare to reveal that we carry 3 marbles and 1 banana to the shithole? How many of us would talk about our aunty's vibrator besides inhaling orange aroma armpit hairs? Hairy Jerry is another Jerry Lewis at every dinner show. I am glad I know you Jerry, whether by fate or by crook!

The first time I saw him camwhored and posed for Lau Niang, I laughed so hard for days at his photos and clicked over 20 times to view them. It was so blardy artistic yet sooo funny. In the end, I admit that I tried it too and my jaws ached from laughter at my own photos. Now in Penang, I hope he loves my hometown!

I thought he was arrogant and I thought he was fierce but I was damn wrong! TZ is a humorous being and so direct like a dart. His photography often attracted me to read his blogs as I often had to direct professional photographers to shoot our client's products. So I learnt and admired TZ's style for free! 

A new blog that entertains me with envy on his travels! I can't wait to travel like FuFu! I wonder what he does for travelling and not working. Maybe he is a travel journalist, is he?

This is another clown blogger who is entertaining me with his originality. I wonder why he is called a Big Mouthed? Can he swallow a watermelon or something? LOL

Have a happy holiday guys!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Grandma's Hall Of Fame (Part 1)

I started this blog since July 2008 and my year old anniversary has passed without realization. I was too busy at work and shifting house lah. Let me tell you a bit about my blogging stuffs and history.

Please remember that BLOGS are mere illusions and you will be surprised that the real personality self of the bloggers are so different. Some looked like real monkeys with foul breaths when they actually posted their Tom Cruised faces in the blogs! I am what you see and hear in this blog, maybe worse in reality. Ask Anton and the rest who have *faint* spells after seeing me. LOL

I started getting involved with a Blog Forum in a Bangkok online newspaper by accident while looking up some news about my Thai actress niece. The forum is a crazy site which is still active till now with mostly foreigners vs Thais in a war of words. Of course I excelled in the blog wars BUT got banned eventually along with some foreigners for bitching against a Thai ex-prostitute. She was bitching against the "farangs" (foreigners : also mean potatoes) So we used the most vulgar words that could tarnish the Thai newspaper's name too. Worst of all, their hits escalated to thousands per day after our blog war news appeared in the UK's newspaper. Why?? I was shocked to discover that one of the blogger in my gang was a diplomat based in BKK and was ticked off for patronizing the Soi Cowboy and Soi Nana joints! See grandma is a famous old bitch in overseas, kan?

I have been bestowed countless blog awards but I didn't "frame" them up in my blog. I don't even know how to frame them up, so put them aside lah. Here, I will share my honest opinion about all the linked active bloggers which are too many but I will post them in 2 parts.  I never planned to pass on any blog awards as I felt it was unnecessary. Everyone has their own good styles, creativity and great humour. One blogger even gave multi orgasm awards until the recipients became H2N2 till H10N10 spammers! You know what I mean?

 In my earlier days, I only had few excitements, here and there in My Hall Of Fame... below

A long time comrade and buddy who has stood by me through the tsunami. I started reading his blog only and later clicked all the links from there to discover more screwed craps and merry excitements as well. 
Lifebook could often write just 5 lines and received easily over 10-20 hit comments!!! OMG!

Many a times, I wanted to buy him the Websters for his birthday, Christmas and Valentine's but never had the guts. LMAO!!

Michi being a straight As student since a kid and currently studying at OUM and UM, I am truly a nerd and illiterate when compared to her big brains. She loves Physics and Chemistry which I am ashamed to say I got F9 for both in my SPM. I am still learning daily from this genius teacher.

At the beginning, I was only getting active supports from both ET and William H (He evaporated!) I have seen ET blogging from JB till getting into the republic with a PR of Singapore! I wished I am the one getting the PR instead! I'm happy for ET, his luck and career has been riding UP smoothly since his flip flops were being played by ghosts outside his door. LMAO!!!

Like others, I was impressed with his talented writing skills where I often had to read 4-5 times to get the picture. I salute Savante's innovative thoughts! He was always blogging about someone mysterious like Agatha Christie's horrors and I had to open my torn dictionary often cos he used too many "BOMPLASTIK" words. You know a Grandma like me only blabs in foulest languages. Don't believe, ask Anton who gets my online face-masks coated with my phlegm saliva always! LMAO!!!

I was attracted to SK's style of writing in bi-languages! Now that takes up lots of patience and I could feel that he has a very kind heart to reach Grandma who is only a banana literate. Dunno how he became my Thamby along the way and the rest is history..... Kuch Kuch Hota Haiiiiiiiiiii. 

I love to read Fable Frog's blog so much and admired his fantastic photos coz no one could be more daring and creative than him on this planet! Agree????? He was the 2nd guy to give me a Blog Award for all my Grandma Ramblings! So now you know who gave me this name, ya??? Niak Niak Ribit! Ribit!

I just wonder if he knew that I stalked his blog for a long time when he used another blog name. His way of writing was too innocent that struck a chord in me. Then he went to open another blog and didn't notify me! Bluek! Luckily someone shook me of his new blog cave and I have been here since. I can't wait to see him become my personal GP someday! I am serious!

I read his blog from the front till the back but never saw his face coz he posted the back of his head only! LMAO! The topics he wrote often went well with my morning coffee at my office desk till now. When his angin is blowing, he blogs! So I hardly feel much angin these days. LOL

This terror lady and Grandma have so much in common! We have the same inferno temperature when our lava spewed out ashes and fire! So don't ever step our tails in the dark! She gave me the first ever Blog Award which boosted my interest to carry on till now. GOSH! Where has she been to? Her blog has severely expired with maggots multiplying eggs! Anyone knows? Hello Perky?!?!?!?!?!

I also stalked his blog for a while before I posted comments. I couldn't help giggling at all his photos as he was always flashing his colgate teeth in the happiest mood! He made me think that his world never had any sadness or frustrations! What a brilliant actor! I loved the Camwhore Aunty nickname that has been etched on him forever. Seems like all straights and bents love his eyes! So electrifying kan! Seeing is believing!

I read his post as it was rare that I could find my hometown kid blogging anywhere. He who baptized KY with the Camwhore Aunty's name should be a Camwhore Queen instead if you ever had the chance to read his other closed-down blogs. He so pandai pose and pose like a chinese Salman Khan with his hamsap eyes! Wow! Peeeet! Peeeeet!

This is truly a "My Diary" blog style which never failed to amaze me with her very innovative & special effect photos taken by a mere Samsung mobile phone! Like her talented designer dad, Edmund Ser, the creative blood still runs in his family. I enjoy the company of her mum and siblings!
I love this Lau Niang blogger coz he really made me laugh till my tears came out. His current style has changed to a safe-sex mode. LMAO!! You should have read his previous blog which could make corpses roll inside their graves with laughter for his silliest camwhore photos! Ke Ke Ke Ke!!

This kiddo was a silent reader at first. I think I pushed him to blog and he did just that. Now he has become good buddies with BengBeng and TZ till he even got a present. I was so damn jealous wor!!!!!! Now he doesn't even bother to drop comments in my blog anymore. Just like Kacang Lupakan Kulit. LOL..

That is all for today and stayed tuned for PART 2. Remember that Blogs Are Just Illusions!

Monday, September 7, 2009

I Wanna To Ski Again

I used to live near the famous Carnegie Mellon University where each winter, it snowed heavily under the temp of freezing -20 degrees! Those were really brutal winters and I miraculously survived somehow! My Korean and Japanese housemates would go skiing each winter on the high mountain alps in Pennsylvania and sometimes in Upstate New York, not too faraway from Niagara Falls.

The Koreans were champion skiers and could do the trick hands-free down the mountain slopes. I had to use my granny's tongkat but still fell many times and hurt my ass badly. It was really dangerous to ski from steep slopes as anyone could crash into the creek and mampus!

I loved the powdery snow very much and that was over 10 yearsssss ago!

So I thought I should bring Cinderella to play snow since she had never seen snow falling from the heavenly skies. We could build snowman together and perhaps bring along Gula Melaka to make Ais Kacang! I will try to build many snowmen and decorate them to look like some blogger friends I know.

Snowman With 3 Balls - Jerry
Snowman with Thick Eyebrow - Dr.Bong
Snowman with Coffee - TZ
Snowman with Hamsap Eyes - Leu
Wanking Snowman - Anton
Camwhore Snow Aunty - KY
Big Mouted Snowman - Danny
Frog Faced Snowman - Fable Frog

Just kidding okay!

Today, I went to the Matta Fair for the first time in my life. I had a big shock as the traffic was crawling like snail from Jalan Tun Razak into PWTC!.... OMG I had to cheat and made a U-turn at Jalan Ipoh to zap my way to Pacific Hotel.

My jaws dropped to find that Reliance Travel had the biggest space by taking up the entire hotel's foyer and ballrooms. It was packed like ants in a sardine tin with so many people swiping their cards to fly everywhere for vacation. No one feared about the H1N1 scare and spent like nobody's business!

So, I also swiped for 4 seats to go for Winter Ski in Korea. My damage was RM3200 just for the deposit only!

I was happy that the price reduced a further RM400 per person just for this Matta Fair with extra freebies thrown in like Free Ski-equipment, Free Cabaret Show, Free Travel Insurance, Free Postpone/Cancellations blah blah. Last week when I enquired over the phone, they didn't have such freebies, so it was worth it. But why must they wait for Matta Fair to give freebies?

Then the Roger Rabbit came along to hug me for buying 4 seats to Korea. I walked away after getting his bunny-hug but the Koala Bear just stood there with open arms, wanting to hug me too. So I promptly went up to hug the Koala Bear but his hug was so damn tight and squeezed granny's daylight! LOL... I think the Koala Bear was a Gay bear! Ha ha ha ha!...

Friday, September 4, 2009

No.98 Krabi Road, Phuket

It had been my lifetime dream to visit the ancestral home where my parents got married in Phuket some 50 years ago. My grandpa who was the CPO in Phuket then, was also the CPO in Krabi prior to that, where both towns come under the county of Nakhon Si Thammarat. 

I have taken the trouble to dig out many wedding albums of my parents but I am too lazy to scan them all. So I am posting just 4 will do lah.

The above photo shows my dashing father and mum being flanked by my Grandpa and Grandma. Do I look like my grandma? LMAO!
My parents wedding was held at No.98 Krabi Road, Phuket where it has become a museum today. It houses the finest antique collections from China and this mansion belongs to my great uncle who was then, the wealthiest tin miner in Phuket. Their family alone has 3 huge mansions where I heard tin ore was later found in the lawn of one of the houses!

My grandpa was taking a puff outside the mansion with my parents and grandma behind.

At the wedding reception, here my parents were photographed chatting with the Governor of Phuket.

I am posting this group photo which seemed hilarious to me. They were all so many men and I guess they were police officers! My grandpa actually forbade my mum to marry my dad as he felt that he would be losing his daughter to some foreigners who could not give her the good lifestyle.

After 11 years of endurance, my grandpa finally gave away his princess to my dad for his patience!

Please view this You Tube to get the earlier complete look of the mansion:

This is the same house TODAY which has been fenced off in front. The 'group photo' posted above was taken at the spot where the fence is today. They are building many new shop lots in front now and they still have several acres behind and beside the bloody big house!

This is the side entrance of the Chinpracha House which is a public museum today. I guess his "Chinpracha" title was given by the King Rama the 5th of Thailand. 

Hollywood's film director Oliver Stone has filmed a movie part in this mansion too.

I was walking curiously everywhere looking at all the familiar photos of some relatives. I think Leumas would have labeled it as another haunted house in his blog.

This is the mother of pearl-laid tea table by the court yard. Come join me to have teh tarek here!

The same furniture used by my parents for the typical Thai wedding ceremony.

This must be the Princess Michi of Phuket! Muahahahaha!

I was looking at the room and poster bed where my dad spent his night.

All the furnitures were imported from France and China which have all survived through the 3 generations. 

This is the indoor court yard which has nice Roman pillars and shallow water features. I have finally closed this chapter of the wedding house and my next trail would be a trip again to Phuket & Krabi to seek a temple's shrine built in the memory of my grandpa's name.

The Day My World Ended

At sunrise of 3rd August, my wife came to fetch me in her brand new car. She sped all the way through the morning traffic to Shah Alam. It w...