Thursday, July 31, 2008

Sex Education In Europe

It has always been a problem with Asian parents coping
with the sex education towards their young kids. My
friend showed me the smart & useful tool which is
being used in Germany to teach the small kids about
real direct facts instead of just birds & bees tales.

If you know someone who has this dilemma, ask him
to print the pictures below to show the kids. The useful
illustration will do all the talking!

                      Baby          Daddy & Mummy courting

Gets intimate!

Daddy & Mummy makes love to plant seed

Mummy is pregnant now.

After 9 months, mummy goes to hospital.

Doctor delivers the baby at last!

A happily ever after family.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Where To Eat Penis In Beijing?

Heh, heh you so ham sap lah, wanting to check this out.
My buddy Derrick Dai emailed these exotic penis photos, so
I must share them if you have not seen them yet.
In Beijing, there is a famous Guolizhuang Restaurant
which specializes in cooking animal penis gourmet
food and serve them in artistic presentation. They
cater for wealthy businessmen and Communist officials.
You have to place advance bookings and on your arrival,
the captain will take your orders with a nutritionist beside
explaining all the goodness of individual dicks and balls
that will boost your "Yang" and virility.
Have you ever tried putting animal genitals in your mouth?

The entrance to Guolizhuang Restaurant, Beijing

Starters, Appetizers, Main courses & Desserts!
Their menu serves Animal Penis & Testicles only.

Finger Food Starters - Sheep Penis! Yummy!

Waiter serves crispy Donkey Penis on Lettuce Leaf.

Ying & Yang Combo - Ox & Dog Penises Calamari

Sliced Star-shaped Ox Penis with Cum sesame paste sauce.

"Dragon In The Flame Of Desire" with long Yak penis!
(OMG! So bloody long!)

Yummy! A female patron savoring the Dog Penis with a wide
choice of dipping sauces - Lemon & Soy, Chilli & Soy or
Soy Sesame Paste. Dog penis will enhance her skin texture.

So, they say it has nutritional values to eat animal dicks.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

My True Story Of Ah Long

Ah Longs are mural painters. Victims are like canvass. 

Such ugly sights are scary! It's a warning not to play-play!

Singapore's comedy movie. Must watch!

So many Gory & Horrible stories about 'Ah Long' loan sharks have 
been reported in the news. Really a big loan industry, more 
aggressive than banks in Singapore & Malaysia until the film 
producer Jack Neo made his most hilarious movie recently - 
Ah Long Pte. Ltd. I laughed so hard until my real tears 
and urine leaked out!! Now let me share my own TRUE 
encounter with Ah Long, no joke.

Poor Michael Chong. He shares everyone's headache!

My best friend's mum was an aggressive 'Tai Yee Long' who once 
operated outside the casino of Genting Highlands. I was keeping 
a close eye on her frail aged mother & 2 rotten kids, so she loved 
me naturally. Knowing that she had no hope from me as her future 
son-in-law, she adopted me like her own God-son! 
Wow, I had a shark's finned God-Ma laden with hard cash!
Her name is Aunty Shirley (her real name) and she led a luxury & hi-so
lifestyle often changing flashy cars more often than changed her 
filthy underwear! Her silly friends were Tai-Tais in KL who were 
victims of unfilial husbands who kept mistresses, so they drowned 
their sorrows in hard core gambling and booze in night clubs! 
Once I joined their all night dancing & boozing spree. 
Oh Shit, I threw up all my guts out like the worst street 
drunkard in someone's house at Jalan Gasing and had worst 
hangover for 3 miserable days. I swore NEVER AGAIN!

So many Loan Shark's Fin ads! Ever tried them?

Years later, Aunty Shirley was arrested by Bukit Aman & she 
moved to New York City after her charges were settled. 
She became a hi-class nanny at Manhattan for many years. 
During my student days in US, I visited her & we lunched at 
the Chinatown near the doomed World Trade Centre (9/11).
Like an old bitch, she was enjoying life changing nappies
on weekdays and changing chips in casinos on weekends! 
When I returned to Malaysia, she would call me every month 
and yakked all the most boring nappy stories about all the 
babies in her care for over 1-2 hours from New York City! 
She was a nanny, don't forget that! She returned to KL after a 
decade and we still kept in touch.

It was so coincident that my former colleague Ivy broke off 
with her hubby and needed cash to fly to Guangzhou, China 
to settle some business. I introduced her to take loan from 
Aunty Shirley but they never met, so I was like an idiot 
'guarantor' for their trust basis transaction of RM10,000. 
Ivy just received RM9,500 as the sum RM500 was the 
on-the-spot 5% interest! Niamah what a BIG RIP OFF!!!!

Ivy assured that it was alright and she could easily settle all 
on her return as she was a fashion designer with her own racks 
at Jusco, Metro Jaya & etc. The agreed loan repayment never 
took place and HELL broke loose for me.

Loans on-line. Loans on-trees!

An easy payment of RM500 monthly was dished out for poor Ivy but 
she could not even pay on time. Aunty Shirley, whom I would call a 
Shark Bitch now called my phone everyday at all hours and yelled 
at the top of her harshest voice at me for Ivy's late payment. 
She would call me continuously during meetings, when I was 
pissing in toilet or even attending funerals! My anger turned hatred 
and I would curse her all day like chanting mantras. Her true bitch 
colours have been unmasked and I've become a victim too, 
not by choice! After 2 hell years, I swore to raise the sum to pay off 
Ivy's debt as she was truly helpless, making ends meet. I called the 
Shark Bitch to negotiate payment and turned numbed to hear the 
figure that Ivy owed.... After 2 years of paying up RM11,000 
Ivy still owed a whooping RM8,000!!!!!!!! 
WTF...... That was craziest thing I heard for 10K loan!!

I was inside EON bank and screamed my lungs out at that 
God-Ma turned Shark Bitch for having the most cruel and 
senseless heart to take advantage of poor helpless victims. 
I forced her to reduce and accept RM5,000! That was the last 
I heard of her and I wish that she would 
Roast and Burn In HELL!


Monday, July 28, 2008

Beautiful Wedding @ Garden of Eden

I had a very shiok pleasure & honour to attend a recent wedding which
took place in a cool & misty park at Tropical Spice Garden, Penang.
The moment I stepped into this newly discovered place, I felt
that I had arrived in the Garden of Eden! It was love at first sight 
place lah! It came complete with a serene lake with little waterfall 
beside a big wooden pavilion. There is a steep hilltop where the 
lunch reception was held under sky-lit & draped canopies. All 
the guests were fascinated by the panoramic seaview! We were 
further charmed by the continuos gentle breeze blowing with 
soothing live band music in background. Didn't I say it was like 
heavens or Gardens Of Eden? It was truly a lovely wedding 
indeed & the company of guests were great too! The flow of 
mouthwatering gourmet food were served one after another and 
even the old uncles & aunts just hentam, didn't care their 
cholesterol or high blood pressure! Just enjoy now and 
worry later affair. The beautiful invitation cards, elaborate table 
decorations, food menu spread, live band music, bibik's nyonya 
kuehs, tea ceremony, guests & even the weather were Perfect 10!
I just looked up the skies & thought the heavens must have 
blessed this bride to plan their big day so well!

A pair of Angels graced every table

The real pair of Angels that graced the wedding reception!
The dashing groom Wee Jin & his sweet darling Stephanie.

The best sweet & melt-in-your-mouth Nyonya Kuehs were served!
Ooo-la-la! So nice lah!

The lovely wedding cake stood on the table completed
with matching fresh flowers lined in lucky Horse Shoe style!
So pandai eh!

My lucky Table No.3... The bride hand made this
with a string of plastic pearls! So clever!

Look! The tables were full of soft pastel coloured flowers
& many darling baby angels! It was so heavenly indeed!

The menu courses by the chefs from Manila Cafe at Penang's 
Gurney Plaza started with the Salmon on toasts appetizers.

The yummiest salad! See my name behind, so it was really 
my plate!

I'm not showing all the food pixs but this one is a must-see!
The spaghetti was so fine and thin textured, you will regret if
you don't try it this life! The sauce and spices was so Italian
that could please any mafia to release you!

The last sinful dish was the Chocolate Mousse
with a huge fresh strawberry each! The heart shaped 
cups truly melted my heart.

Every guest was given unique souvenirs - Fan for ladies 
& cute box with candle for men... Why candles for men? 
You could light up cigars or keep flies away! LOL....

The Day My World Ended

At sunrise of 3rd August, my wife came to fetch me in her brand new car. She sped all the way through the morning traffic to Shah Alam. It w...