My Saturday Outing

It was so blarrrdy expensive for a RM120 ticket with Chinese dinner while I being a Penang kiamp-siap paid RM60 just to rent their chair to sit without food. Whole night I was staring at the diners tucking hungrily on the buttered prawns, 4 Seasons Cold Dish and fried rice. They were eating like gluttons while I stood and watched them eat like Hungry Ghosts!

Luckily there as a free flow of fruit punch and I drank over 10 glasses coz it was FREE! 

I was impressed with the contestants today as the number of hours they invested to fine tune their steps rigorously paid off. Judges would give scores on their step variations, showmanship, costume appearance, techniques and etc. I recalled that I actually grew up around the dance floors as mum & dad used to waltzed their nights at various clubs while we toddlers played with other kids, not knowing why our parents danced so much.

Next weekend, I will be watching the World YMCA Ballroom Dance Competition which would be held in Penang. My old mom is one of the organizers, so need to be around to lend support.

This Japanese judge received her gift token, bowed lowly and almost wanted to kiss the baldy's hands while murmuring - Yes Yes Hai Hai Hai I am Sor Hai.

This is Alfred Choo, cooly showing off his T-Chested assets while prancing on the floor before tossing around his sexy looking kitten. My jaw dropped without a blink and cheered for him to win!

His younger brother who has his Xerox copy looks but shorter height danced aggressively the whole night, with his snarling looks and scary gnashing teeth ready to sink like a pontianak di luar jamban. OMG I was soooooooooo impressed by his garangnism!

Oh you should look at this flamboyant contestant No 10 who happily smiled the whole night belting out his jive, rhumba and latin dances with his revealing open shirt. Look Ma, see my big nipples!

CRASH! He slipped and fell onto the floor! He grinned & his kitten had to yank him up to his feet again. So damn malu lah! I would have hid under her green skirt!

Oh Oh this Eeeeeeeeevon was whole night shifting her bra straps no less than 30 times. Oh yes I counted them coz I was planning to buy Mega TOTO today. Her steps were so-so but her facial expression was like those hungry sex kittens who performed at the Bangkok's Calypso Cabaret shows. The audience loved her showmanship but not the judges.

Oh Momma! I think my bra snapped lah! Aiyo! Aiyo! My tek tek jatuh nanti.

Heh! Heh! There were 2 kid- couples doing their jive numbers and this pair won obviously. The other pair were like toddlers shaking their asses out of tune and lost their steps to the roaring laughter of the audience! This boy kinda amazed me coz he is jiving now, long before he is wanking. LOL!

So many groups performed the different categories and these are the finalists of Latin Dance parading before the winner was announced.

Alfred came 2nd whilst the Champion trophy was clinched by contestant No 24 who looked like a junkie with his partner whose back had so many big mosquito bites behind! They won because they danced very gracefully and smoothly to the tune of the music. Here looks are not so important but the way they carried themselves count. So buy an imitation LV bag and the way you carry them could pass off as a genuine. I always stress on the importance for one to carry themselves well to look & feel good.

It's Finger Lickin' Goodiest!

I know it is weird of Grandma blogging about food again. Maybe I should only blog about food like others. At least I don't blog about my bad emo series, menopause and global retrenchments! I talk my emo woes & cry in the toilet alone instead of screaming for the world to hear. That is why someone thought I am eternally happy & drives a Merc. How flattering!

Hey, I tried the recent Roast Chicken from Kentucky outlets and I've nothing to brag about it except their baked potatoes. The potatoes are cheaper coz they sucks! Try Wendy's baked potatoes & you taste the kilometer difference!

This latest gourmet is from KFR! They dipped with finest honey & grilled over perfect flames for hours to give the crispiest skin. Sink your teeth in & the floor will be wet with your saliva. Ooooh! Yummy!

It is so fucking delicious & aromatic that you don't need any more sauce! The most is just a dash of the fried salt pepper seasoning to bring up their sweet honey taste!

The lean meat is so white & tasty that you would be chewing till the bones & sucking its juice essence! Adam & Eve never had it so good!

See how their deplorable kitchen prepares the KFR food. When you enjoy the food, it's best to avoid seeing their preparations! You might puke!

After chopping and marinating they would fry lightly first.

Now before that, they hand picked all the rats first! Who said it was chicken? Did I say it was chicken? I just said KFR!

To my horror, they used the flames to torch the farm rats to remove its hair! Now did Jerry say the same thing about torching his facial hairs too? LOL, smart Jerry!

Now KFR is Kentucky Fried Rats and please don't ask me where to eat them! 

ParisHilton@Mid-Valley

Once I was strolling aimlessly at Mid Valley Megamall during a crowded weekend sale. A lady tapped my shoulder and I turned around to look at her. Under her huge dark shades, I could barely recognize her.

I thought she was some Paris Hilton replica under heavy make up and kinkily dressed to kill.

OMG she squealed in her thick Penang Hokkien and I was jolted to my senses!

Aiyah this woman sells the Best Curry Mee Penang style in Klang Valley!

You won't believe me that she's a transformer on weekends and proudly boasts that even her relatives hardly recognize her when she removes her kitchen aprons.

You know I don't blog about food coz I eat like a pig and everything is always nice! However, you gotta try this Penang Curry Mee!

Minus the pig blood, she adds chicken meat and char siew meat instead for under RM5.oo per big bowl. I love it so much and you can try this yourself this weekend! If it tastes awful, get a refund from me!

It is located in her corner house at Sri Petaling - Jalan Perlak 1.

You won't miss her Negara Ku flag coz she celebrates Merdeka 365 days!

Happy Weekend!

UnAmazing Thailand

April 13th is supposed to be the start of the auspicious Songkran Day in Thailand or the popularly known "Water Festival"..  I was so disturbed to see the front news in the Star showing fresh clashes in Bangkok with the State Of Emergency being declared again! I am so damn fed up and foresee another coup, judging from the protestors' ugly mobs in Pattaya.

The foreign media's favourite PM Khun Abhisit Vejjajiva who studied in the elite Eton School and graduated from Oxford, which was a rare achievement for the Thais then. However, he became a PM not by democracy elections yet the Red Protestors are not giving him the chance to prove himself since he came into office just end of 2008! That was after the Suvarnabhumi Airport was closed by protestors, remember? I thought I could breathe well for a year while making plans to visit Bangkok again. 

The PM's motorcade was attacked even before the Asian Summit was held at Pattaya. I am sick to the core on the ugly behaviour of those Thai street protestors whether they wear Red, Yellow or Blue! For many decades, Thais have earned the image as the well mannered population with their polite "Wai" greetings to the world. When I was in US, I even felt better and proud to tell the whites I am a Thai rather than a Malaysian, coz they didn't know where the hell Malaysia was! LMAO!

I'm posting these unseen fresh photos from Thai bloggers showing the taxis blocking the streets leading to the Victory Monument today. I guess that must be Petchburi Road area.

Look at the mammoth crowd of Reds staging mass protests at Victory Monument for PM Abhisit Vejjajiva to step down. I am glad we don't fight and protest anymore like this in KL. It has been badly hurting the economy of Thailand and scaring millions of tourists away. No wonder the tourist arrivals to Malaysia has increased many folds.

I have been posed the questions many times by friends about the Buddhism in Thailand which is in contrast with the frequent ugly street protests and power greedy politicians! I retorted that some just don't practice the Buddhism way of life. The Thai population stands at 62 million people and it's only less than 5% are devils if assuming the Red and Yellow gangs total over a couple of hundred thousands. So I believe there are still many good Thais who stay at home to watch the protests live on TV. I hear that none of my relatives take to the streets and that doesn't mean they are good! I do have cousins who are greedy and womanizers too. Oh, that is Thailand and Mai Pen Rai! (Never Mind)

How many more days they wanna clash? I won't be surprised they will sleep and close the airport again! Then I suggest you take a flight to Krabi and board a bus to Bangkok, vice versa.

You know what? The majority Thais are so used to all this circus and my Thai buddy actually went to relax when the Airport was closed last year! His sms replied me - "WHAT'S THE WORRY DUDE? I AM ENJOYING MY GOLF RIGHT NOW!"

Pecah! Pecah! Pecah! BODOH! Gila Babi!

The unruly mobs yanked the hotel's staff off from barricading the door in Pattaya.

THIS IS LATEST NEWS! The tanks have rolled into the streets of Bangkok and this one parked outside Siam Paragon.

Thailand had many military coups since 1932 and my own uncle (above) the late General Chatichai Choonhavan was Thailand's most flamboyant ex Premier was also overthrown in the 1991 coup. I was living in the States when mum told me that uncle's entire siblings & families who all reside in the Bangkok's swanky Soi Rajkroo had their bank accounts frozen for investigations and had to borrow cash from everyone to have their simple daily meals. That was a terrible price to pay for survival. I will never want to enter politics as I could be a nasty one with my curry mouthed. LOL!

I hope that peace will be restored in Thailand again! 

Pray harder Leng Chai.

Grandma Collectibles

What do you think of old Grandmas? My real grandma loved to collect empty moon cake boxes, old flower pots, chipped crockery sets, broken furnitures, dead snakes, hands me down clothes and even old newspapers! I think I inherited much of her traits and ramblings.

See, I used an old zipper bag to store my facial stuffs and left over foreign currencies. I also keep hundreds of nice crispy and colourful shopping bags and matchboxes for my cremation.

If you turn my zipper bag over, you can see where I got them, below! 

I love zippers bags from underwears these days which come in wasteful thick plastics! Oi, time to recycle man! I must tell you that I have serious undies problems coz I have been running around and trekking all over construction sites almost daily under blazing sun & Sahara heat. You know, I perspired profusely around my genitals more than my forehead! I think the head below is more heat prone, thus storing volcanic heat! LOL

As a result all brands of underwears caused me to itch seriously in between legs due to the sweat glands and caused inflamation plus mushrooms to grow!!! 

So I had to change the bikini types to boxer likes for better skin protection. So I would just invest into any brand so long as the cutting and material will be comfortable.

I just discovered that 2nd Skin is so cheap for less than RM15 each and is as good as CK or CJ. Any valuable advice for me guys?

Traffic Madness & Stress

Can anyone tell me that he loves traffic jams? On an average day, I could chalk up to over 100 km driving all over Klang Valley, so getting stucked in a bad jam is definite. I have even mastered this art of jamming which I wanna share with you guys.

I would buy a pack of Peel Fresh Orange or Cranberry Juice to being along to make me happy. I would always remember to urinate or shit first before hitting the highway. I lost count the number of times my bladder was so full while caught in the traffic jam and my pee leaked till my underwear basah. Aiyo you laugh what? I said basah means 1 or 2 trickle only la. Next time I might wear grandma's pampers instead to be safe in case full blast. I won't dare tell you how my dump came out once!

Nah! Nah! This signboard never changes its message which says "TRAFIK LANCAR SELEPAS SUSUR KE JALAN LOKE YEW". Haiks this message is the same forever! 

Front jam, belakang also jam! Stress! Stress! Stress!

I learnt to hypnotize myself and relax, that's why the Biotherm bitch was amazed that I have no facial wrinkles for a Grandma! Eerrrmm! Ahem!... Phtooii!..

Nah! Nah! This way to the not so SMART TUNNEL, need to have jam session and tolerance towards bad drivers zig zagging the lanes. I suspect all the worst drivers on KL streets must be from Penang coz I proudly proclaim for being a notorious driver from Penang myself. Lalalal lala la...la..la...

BTW how do my fingers look, Anton-DK? Better than LB's? I applied layers of Biotherm cream and sunblock plus whitening agents. Ha Ha Ha!

You know what? Entering this tunnel always gives me Goose Bums, coz it's eerie like this! Lots of ghosts also pass tru this imaginary tunnels like this.

What do I think when I am in the traffic jams? I always yearned for a hot cuppa of Teh Tarek! So this Indian Keling would flash in my head always.

Now I wanna congratulate this Walter for winning my box of chocolate for guessing first the YTL's fabulous house! After weeks of sms-ing, we finally met up today! See, I honour my words and see the Lindt brand that he carried proudly! If you wanna collect empty chocolate boxes or ask for bite, please contact this Leng Chai at his blog - waltersim.blogspot.com Please support him lah and wish him to study hard!

My New Shoes

When Nicholas posted his new Nike shoes in his blog, I thought it was hilarious that he shed a tear of happiness before he slept. I also encountered a similar emo moments when I bought a new pair of Reebok casual wear shoes! 

I got it at 50% from Why Pay More outlet, so fucking cheap lah! I thought it was very light with fanciful stripes for my traveling this year. Oh, I am planning to visit Phuket soon and ski in Korea this Winter, so need to build some arm and leg muscles ahead. Otherwise I might crash into the Mt. Sorak alps if the ski course sends me off track & kaput!

Actually, I was busy making dumps in the toilet when I admired my shoes and snapped a photo of it to show off to you. See, I so brave to pull my pants down. Ha Ha! Smell anything from my dumps? Honestly, I love to shit at Jacky Chan's toilets coz it is clean and the best part is when you habis.

The toilet bowl has this water jet to spray your arse hole! Whooooo! Put full blast and I will see my grandma in heavens. LOL..

Can you see my dump inside? It is actually a gold fish inside! Yeah, I shit out gold fishes sometimes. Bluek!

Recently I enjoyed their new bikes while watching the 3 miserable TVs while FF has plenty of TV screens! Ah, this bicycle has a seat to relax my back plus built-in motorized fans!! You can feel as if you are cycling with strong wind blowing your face. So real when I watched Discovery Channel showing Newport Beach in LA.

I am working out hard to stay healthy and lighter. That pic is definitely not me, coz I am not so ugly.

Good Health Is Good Wealth!